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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 21:57

I disagree. Most strife in the world has been over struggle for power and resources.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 21:58

"In which religion is it right to kill"

Well we could start with the christian religion- god killed many millions, women, chidren- was fine for him.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 22:04

Explain Bigbluestars

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:12

"1 Samuel 15:2- “This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys."

( thanks head)

Scholars who have studied the bible calculate that god has murdered over 24 million people.
And that's supposed to be a nice man? He doesn't set a very good example.

Never mind the millions who have dies in Africa due to AIDS and the church's stance on condoms.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:15

Right, we've finally got something from you bigbluestars......so you obviously do believe in God but you don't like what you perceived he did.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:19

Is it even worth my breath.....

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:29

Well to be fair bigbluebreath you have hardly put anything into your posts apart from having digs at mine. I am the one who put effort and time into what I believe. Surely it should be me saying "is it worth my breath" . You haven't had much of any substance to say, Youve said in so many words there is no God, then you write about God murdering people, so that implies that there must be a God. If you have good constructive arguments on your own views and beliefs rather than writing stuff what someone else put way up thread it would have been more constructive. So really it wasn't "worth your breath"

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 22:29

That is from the Old Testament so is not Christianity.

The Bible has been rewritten by scholars over thousands of years as it has been reinterpreted as well as studied.

I am a Christian and believe in a loving God and one that is not vengeful. Others may believe differently.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 19/02/2015 22:29

Right, we've finally got something from you bigbluestars......so you obviously do believe in God but you don't like what you perceived he did.

That would wind me up so much if you said that to me! Well done bigbluestars on your response

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:29

Sorry that should have said Bigbluestars

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:33

Merry so that would have wound you up? well I'm sorry but it's me that's been wound up. So you say well done for her response?? Well if that's what you call a good response I'm amazed. Unbelievable.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:34

suggestme- so christians can ignore the ten commandments?

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:37

merry- thanks, I have heard it all before, but happydays isn't quite grasping this argument.

Verbena37 · 19/02/2015 22:39

I was, and I guess still a , afraid of death but more of knowing the sadness my children will have when I leave them behind. They have said to me, once they realise it's likely, that parents will go before their children, we don't want to be left without you.

Makes me cry thinking about them.
However, years ago, I was watching Holby City and one of their own nurses was dying in bed and One of the consultants said to her "don't be afraid, death is only a second". I always remember that. It can only ever be one breath....a second. that gives me some comfort.

FreudiansSlipper · 19/02/2015 22:41

my understanding in Christianity, Judaism and Islam is that God does not make everything so wonderful on earth to test man

there is also the influence of the devil again to test man

so the argument god has created this how could he be so evil is ignoring that man has power to make changes

MerryInthechelseahotel · 19/02/2015 22:43

Glad you think it is Unbelievable happy. So do we.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:45

Verbena- I think feelings change with age. I had 3 great aunts- one lived until she was 98, the second 99 and the third was 104 when she died.
None of them were at all afraid of death. They were in good health and active in their later years but as an 8 year old I was struck by how calmly they accepted the thought of dying- and they hadn't always felt that way.But they were starting to feel weary and tired and were totally at peace with the idea of death.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 22:48

Christians follow the teachings of Jesus who taught about loving and caring. I believe in the values that Jesus taught. The ten commandments are values that Christians share but as a seperate breakaway religion in the first century AD they do not follow everything from the Old Testament. Jesus himself questioned scriptures read in the synagogues.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:49

Happydays isn't quite grasping the argument.....unbelievable, you haven't made one, you haven't made any valid points and nor can you explain what your stance is. Merry this discussion could have done without that comment. All it does is sidetrack us..

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 22:51

suggest- so they do accept some parts of the old testament- but just the good bits.
So at least they are not cherry picking.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:51

Whose "we" Merry, and what is your position on this or have you just come on when it seems the thread was in its throes to goad and keep it going.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:54

It's hard work isn't it Suggest

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 22:55

I agree Freudian

GourmetGold · 19/02/2015 22:57

YANBU OP

I'm not scared of being dead anymore, but I still fear feeling pain, I really don't want to die in some horrible way!

I used to (well still do really) get upset with all the horrible stuff that is going on and that has gone on through history, worrying so much about what might be around the corner...I believed in ghosts, but I certainly didn't believe in God, afterlife type place etc...after all how could a God let all this happen?! Everything seems so chaotic.

A friend lent me her book 'Many Lives, Many Masters' by Dr Brian Weiss...I've now read all his books, plus the books 'Journey of Souls' and 'Destiny of Souls' by Michael Newton.
They are the most jaw dropping books I have ever read and the only thing that has made sense of this crazy/amazing world and why we are here and what happens next, after this life!

Basically both authors have learnt, through their work in regression therapy, (both had never been relegious, or 'woo') that we are all a soul living in this body at the moment, our home is the afterlife (there appears to be no such place as hell...though Earth is seen by most souls as the most difficult place to incarnate).
Each time we leave this body (die) we go back to the afterlife, then at some point return to a new life in a new body (either here or on another planet), we get to choose each life, depending on what we need to learn...or to help others learn.

Through each lifetime we learn more and help others learn, our souls become more 'evolved'. Past and present life behaviours have consequences and follow us through our lives.
As far as 'bad' behaviour goes, the most common thing that seems to happen is, say you had been really racist, or hated a certain group of people, you nearly always come back as one of those race/group of people in the next life..Karma!
Obviously we aren't ALL who we now because of hate from another life, every soul is on a different journey and at different stage of development.

Often more 'highly evolved' souls volunteer to be born into the most difficult of lives, such as someone who is abused, as a baby who only lives a few weeks, or a freedom fighter who will be captured and tortured to death (you can see into the future in the afterlife, so see ahead what your life will be like, because time doesn't exist there..bizarre!!)

We keep on learning back in the afterlife. It seems to be a fantastic place, hard to describe, you'll have to read the books (Newton's books are all about the 'life between lives') to grasp it all...and it is mind bending, especially what some souls do for recreation..errrrmm what about creating miniature universes?!

The least evolved souls usually want to live on earth as the most powerful/wealthy etc people (again, not all powerful, wealthy humans will be less evolved!) but learning this certainly made sense in my mind why some of the most horrendous things that go on, go on, especially by some people in very high positions! Both authors found this in their patients.
The most evolved are not interested in money, fame, power etc

As far as there being 'God' no regressed patient ever seems to meet 'God' as such. They refer to 'The Source' (also where new souls are created) and the 'Old Ones'. Souls are asexual.

Eventually we will evolve so much that we no longer reincarnate and we join 'The Source' that created us in the afterlife. We are all one, as we all come from 'The Source' and return to 'The Source', so if you hurt another you are basically hurting yourself!
Bad things will happen as there will always be lesser evolved souls and we are all still learning to behave really! But we never really die, we just leave this body we are in...your soul apparently leaves your body, before the body completely dies, so you are not feeling any pain for too long ..similar to experiences of people who have been, say, struck by lightening and finding themselves looking down at their body, feeling no pain.

Another thing...we have a 'soul group' that we live with in the afterlife, not just a 'soul mate', we are with some or all of our soul group in each life, changing rolls. So your husband in this life might be you mum in another life and your daughter in another etc! You will also experience living in just about every country on earth and as both man and woman. Animals reincarnate too, often a pet's soul now was a pet in your other lives too.

Sorry for long post, but this information, which I really do believe now, has helped me be not so afraid and might help others be less afraid.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 23:07

The Bible has evolved over thousands of years as religious scholars have reinterpreted scriptures in various ways and there most probably has been cherry picking over those years in the evolution of scriptures and The Bible. This is why there are different religions and denominations that have evolved as they reinterpret The Bible in different ways and have different beliefs. I know what I believe and it is in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and his teachings of love, caring, forgiveness and that God is a loving and caring god. If others choose not to believe the same, that is fine.