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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
chocorabbit · 20/02/2015 10:54

OP, I don't think there is any religion that believes that people become ghosts and if they do believe in their existence it will be other creatures pretending to be anything scary in order to scare humans, not humans themselves!!

Most religions believe either in reincarnation or heaven/hell which would be in another dimension, as our RE teacher had said (he also told us many nonsense regarding other religions btw as I found out later) which appeals to many monotheistic religions perceptions regarding the particular location. And if you are an atheist then there is none of the above. But if you do have any doubts and believe that there might be God(/s) then again remember, no human ghosts exist (or at all) or reincarnation.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 11:01

an awful amount of time and energy trying to convince us that God doesn't exist

It's not about convincing you god doesn't exists but more like pointing out logical fallacies, and if it took a lot of energy I wouldn't be doing it (am sitting in bed in my dressing gown as I type)

headinhands · 20/02/2015 11:11

From the article you posted

God himself took on the form of man and accepted the punishment for our sin on our behalf. Sounds ludicrous? Perhaps, but many loving fathers would gladly trade places with their child in a cancer ward if they could.

A cancer that the father gave the child himself though. In that case the father should be prosecuted.

FreudiansSlipper · 20/02/2015 11:24

headinhands it's a choice if you want to believe in god of not

We as people especially those in power can make changes to make the world a better place but often suffering is ignored because that is easier than making changes

I was pointing out that this is the fundamental belief in the three religions man has the power to make changes, man has the choice to do or not to do the right thing

salthill · 20/02/2015 11:44

First, let's deal with the argument against God's existence. Ravi Zacharias has dealt with this brilliantly in his book Can Man Live Without God? "If you argue from the existence of evil to the non-existence of God, you are assuming the existence of an absolute moral law in order for your argument to work. But if there is such a law, then that would also mean that there is such a God, since He is the only one who could give us such a law. And if there is such a God to give us this law, then the argument itself is flawed, since you have had to assume the existence of God in order to argue that He doesn't exist. In short, it is an attempt to invoke the existence of an absolute moral law without invoking the existence of an absolute moral lawgiver, and it cannot be done...."
I thought this was interesting..... But arguing the non existence of God because he doesn't seem to be fair, he allows suffering in some and not others etc is so flawed. It is judging Him by our standards and what our expectations of him are. It is surely arrogant to assume we know how God works. If we don't believe in God, fine, end of story. But to rage against a non existent God, mainly because he allows suffering(which atheists always do) is often a case of "she who protests too much". In other words, it shouldn't be anything to get het up about. I often wonder if staunch atheists who put up very rigid strong arguments against the existence of God are sub consciencly hoping to be swayed. Imo this is how God works.

vdbfamily · 20/02/2015 12:00

Headinhands you choose Bible passages that atheists the world over use to try and make out that if there is a God he is not a loving one, but you fail to put any of it in context,and there is plenty. The Amelekites were intent on wiping Gods chosen people from the face of the earth and had spent hundreds of years trying to achieve this. They were also pretty heavily into child sacrifice and not a very pleasant group of people. Generally in the O.T during battles,the enemy were given a chance to surrender and if they refused they were killed,men women and children. That was the norm and is not that different today really.Children are known to avenge their parents therefore killing them was seen as necessary.It sounds barbarous to us but it was what happened.
The other point I would like to make is that when you approach these stories as a Christian who believes that God is in charge and when you believe that we have all sinned and all deserve the consequence of that sin which is ultimately death, then who are we to judge the rights and wrongs really. It is disingenuous to pick a few verses from the Bible to try and prove that a God you don't believe in is a baddie. When you do believe in Him and experience His love and peace in your life, you read the Bible from this perspective, rather than the perspective of someone trying to prove what a load of nonsense it all is.
When you also start to realise how totally awesome and beyond our understanding God is, you stop trying to work out all the details. If we understood God, we would be God.
Davsmum says that time does not exist but we cannot understand this. I agree with this and believe there are many other mindblowing concepts that our tiny minds fail to understand.That is why I find it so incredibly conceited of people to say they will not believe in God til they can prove Him. He is God.He does not need you to prove Him. Feel free to say he does not exist but do not turn round to him on judgement day and say 'it's not fair....you never told me about you'

bigbluestars · 20/02/2015 12:05

"When you also start to realise how totally awesome and beyond our understanding God is, you stop trying to work out all the details"

That is the part that I find most disturbing. Abdicate all responsibilty for rational analysis.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:11

headinhands it's a choice if you want to believe in god of not

There must be a reason why you chose to believe in your god and not a different god.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:16

Generally in the O.T during battles,the enemy were given a chance to surrender and if they refused they were killed,men women and children.

and the god who created the universe couldn't think of a different way of doing it other than getting people to stab other people? Can you imagine the psychological harm being ordered to kill babies would do to someone? In the NT a couple of people were struck dead for lying about how much money they had sold a field for. Why couldn't god have done something like that? or struck down dead the tribe at it's source when there were only a few instead of getting other humans to kill people.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:18

you are assuming the existence of an absolute moral law in order for your argument to work

clearly I don't believe there is an absolute moral law and that morals are relative and change. The bible doesn't appear to back this up and it's only christians doing some back peddling and apologetics that we now see most of the church embracing gay rights and so on.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:21

They were also pretty heavily into child sacrifice and not a very pleasant group of people

so stabbing all their babies to death was totally claiming the higher moral ground. Oh, and there's this verse:

"Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." (Genesis 22:2, NIV)

So, god wasn't horrified with child sacrifice himself was he?

salthill · 20/02/2015 12:21

It also means that you can be a horrible person, you can rape, murder and make your fellow humans suffer, but as long as you accept jesus you get a pass to heaven ........no that is not so, if you do those things you obviously haven't acceped Jesus into your life even if you think you have. How bloomin easy and simplistic that would be for murderers, rapists, evil dictators.
"Hang on Lord ive just raped and murdered 20 women but I accept you, therefore I'll get into Heaven won't i?" Somehow I don't think it works like that.

bigbluestars · 20/02/2015 12:25

salt- it does work like that though. If a murderer repents and accepts jesus his sins will be forgiven and he will be on the good list.

salthill · 20/02/2015 12:26

So headinhands do you believe in God then but just can't accept him as a loving God, or is there no God at all and all the bible is gobbledegook. Which is it?

salthill · 20/02/2015 12:33

Bigthis is a discussion I've had many times with dh.... Hitler the monster who was responsible for the killing of millions. On his deathbed he makes peace with the Lord and is truly sorry. Should he get to Heaven? I don't know the answer, it can't be right that he is but then where is the line drawn about horrendous criminals whether they should be forgiven or not. I don't think any of us have the answer.

bigbluestars · 20/02/2015 12:38

So your religion is unfair- and doesn't make any sense.

So a man likes Hitler gets to heaven.

Some Islamic young woman who dies never having heard about christianity - despite being a good and caring person is denied entry.

Is that act of a loving god?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:40

when you approach these stories as a Christian who believes that God is in charge and when you believe that we have all sinned and all deserve the consequence of that sin which is ultimately death, then who are we to judge

It sounds like you are saying we have to suspend making a moral judgement on god's actions when reading the bible, but that's not you being a moral agent, that's you switching off your moral compass so as not to be disgusted by something god does, god who is supposed to be the most perfect and moral being in the world. And don't forget he expected you to use those morals to recognise the goodness of Jesus, but then expects you to ignore it when the warning lights flash on when he's killing babies.

As for insinuating that everyone deserves to die, babies and all, I honestly don't think you actually mean what you are saying. I don't know you, but chances are you're a good person, and you love being kind, and that you get very upset when you think of people suffering. I doubt very much that you honestly think that we all deserve death for not being perfect. If you're the sort of person I think you are I don't think you deserve death, sure you've made mistakes but you don't deserve to be killed for it, and neither do your children.

If you do genuinely think people deserve to die for not believing in your god then please make yourself known to the authorities!

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:45

So headinhands do you believe in God then but just can't accept him as a loving God, or is there no God at all and all the bible is gobbledegook. Which is it?

I'm almost certian the christian god isn't real because the claims made in the bible are unsubstantiated same as Islam etc. I see no evidence for a loving god who is interested in humans, if there is he hasn't revealed himself to us in which case he isn't interested and doesn't care, so I can't rule out an uninterested god, who would regard us as ants or similar.

SomewhereIBelong · 20/02/2015 12:45

I don't believe in God, but don't care if someone else does.

Why do people have to have this nit-picking, dog with a bone attitude to posters who have faith.

salthill · 20/02/2015 12:46

This is what I think......it really doesn't matter a damn what religion you are, if you're a good person who treats others "as you would be done by" then you'll have nothing to fear. I believe there is evil in the world and lots won't make it. Sounds simplistic but that's my opinion.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:46

When you also start to realise how totally awesome and beyond our understanding God is, you stop trying to work out all the details

thank god most scientists are atheists then!

headinhands · 20/02/2015 12:50

Hang on Lord ive just raped and murdered 20 women but I accept you, therefore I'll get into Heaven won't i?" Somehow I don't think it works like that.

so you're saying that no rapist/murderer has ever accepted Jesus. But that's your own moral compass coming into play there 'rapist can't go to heaven' even though there is nothing to suggest that they can't once forgiven. Are you also saying that it is impossible for a rapist to truly repent, so that buggers up free will doesn't it.

salthill · 20/02/2015 12:51

I see no evidence for a loving god who is interested in humans, if there is he hasn't revealed himself to us in which case he isn't interested and doesn't care
His only Son died on the cross for us

salthill · 20/02/2015 13:05

so you're saying that no rapist/murderer has ever accepted Jesus.
No I didn't say that, I was answering a poster who inferred that as long as you accept Jesus it doesn't matter if you're a murderer or a rapist. I was replying that no, if you were a murderer or rapist you hadn't accepted Jesus even if you thought you had. Obviously once they had "accepted" Jesus they wouldn't be murderers, or they hadn't really accepted him.

FreudiansSlipper · 20/02/2015 13:11

I agree SomewhereIBelong

I do not believe in God or Gods and do not feel the need to show others what I feel is the truth it's the truth to me

Believing is not always the easier way to be far from it as lots of questions are raised to test your faith at times which is part of a persons journey with their faith

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