Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 23:09

Well OP, it's been a long thread and I just hope there has been some reassurances on here for you. Certainly from some more than others, rather than some who just wanted to get their agenda across and as far as I could see couldn't possibly be of any help to you. I'm going now because I'm tired of having to defend what I believe in. I'd just like to leave you with (what I hope will be reassuring) words for you. I hope they give you some comfort.
God said...."I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life"
"I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me"
Lovely words.

machair · 19/02/2015 23:11

I believe in God and Jesus and my faith helps me deal with death. We are all on a journey.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 23:12

Comforting words Happy.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 23:18

Another couple of nice bible quotes:

""I have wiped out many nations, devastating their fortress walls and towers. Their cities are now deserted; their streets are in silent ruin. There are no survivors to even tell what happened. I thought, 'Surely they will have reverence for me now! Surely they will listen to my warnings, so I won't need to strike again.'"

"The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The LORD takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies.
"

GourmetGold · 19/02/2015 23:19

I don't follow a religion Happy, but those words are comforting.

TheChickenSituation · 19/02/2015 23:23

I don't want to derail the thread, but I can't get my head around how the afterlife works for each religion.

Is it only the 'right' religion that gets to go to heaven/its equivalent? Or do all people who believe get to go to heaven?

'No-one comes to the father but through me (Jesus?)' can't be all that comforting for Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. In fact, it sounds like a threat.

FWIW, I'm agnostic. The more compelling arguement, for me, is the atheists, but I also can't square that with the fact that we/the universe started somewhere.

I just find the yawning intellectual chasm between what we know, and the God that is portrayed simply too wide. And as a woman (with a gay brother), I really can't bare the religions currently on offer.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 23:25

I will pray that you are able to find some nice quotes too Bigbluestars. good night

machair · 19/02/2015 23:32

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me"

bigbluestars · 20/02/2015 07:12

chicken, yes, it's only the "right" religion that will have fun in the afterlife.

So in the case of christianity only those who believe and accept jesus as their saviour will be saved. So that means that everyone who is agnostic, atheist, of indeed those who have never had a a chance to hear about christianity will be on the bad list.
So a very good and caring person who happens to be a tribal man living in a remote rain forest, or born in an Islamic country with no opportunity to ever learn of christianity will not make the grade. That is why church missionaries were so keen to seek out the heathens.

It also means that you can be a horrible person, you can rape, murder and make your fellow humans suffer, but as long as you accept jesus you get a pass to heaven.
An atheist or a muslim may life an altruistic life, spend their life helping others, but again will be on the bad list because they did not believe in god.

Now if god was so loving as we are told why does he set down these conditions- that we must love him and accept jesus?

If he truly was a benevolent god then why doesn't he let everyone in to heaven? Why is he so vain and self obsessed that we have to kiss his ass before he lets us on the good team. He sounds a very narcissistic and egotistical god to set these conditions.

What with that and being a mass murderer I question why anyone would want to be one of his cheerleaders.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 08:39

scientists don't KNOW how that happened

And that's why they are still looking and the most logical stance on the issue is to suspend assuming it was definitely this or that until we know more. To think 'scientists don't know so I'm going to assume it was god, and not just any god but the god that most people in this part of the world at this time in history believe in' is as intellectually unsatisfying as it is illogical.

machair · 20/02/2015 08:46

"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance"

headinhands · 20/02/2015 08:55

The miracle of birth, our ability to love, our desire for knowledge, the perfect formation of the sun, the moon and the earth, the controlling of the seas by the moon, the earths orbit of the sun. It CANNOT be accidental.

Again that's the domain of cosmology, evolution, biology, psychology and physics and vast incomprehensible amounts of time. There is no need to invoke a supernatural force at any point in what science has already discovered and all the processes that man used to to think were caused by a supernatural force have been shown to have natural physical causes. But that's by the by in terms of you claiming it to be a specific god. How is one to go from 'Scientists don't know what caused the big bang' to' 'it is the god that my culture has indoctrinated me into'.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:05

Would it not be best if you kept an open mind then.

My mind is open to change, and will be changed by evidence. I am the one who is saying 'I don't know how the universe began, I will suspend making a decision because there is no evidence that it was a god and there is no more evidence for this god men believe in or that god men believe in. Your mind, I assume, is closed to all other gods in a way mine isn't in that if someone shows me testable verifiable evidence that Thor created the universe then so be it.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:09

Not everything has to be seen to be believed

No but there needs to be a good reason. What else do you believe to be true without good reason.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:16

but people who don't believe haven't got any evidence to say he doesn't exist.

Can you not see how illogical it is to assume something exists until you are proven otherwise. It makes sound logical sense to assume things don't exist until you have good reason to think they do. So going by your own logic I assume you believe in all the other faiths and religions to the exact same extent that you believe in Christiantiy because, you know, you don't have evidence that they aren't true.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:23

who have genuinely looked into Christianity from a completely atheist viewpoint and found the evidence compelling. So, to say there isn't any is making out they are all idiots.

I think it is entirely possible to be fiercely intelligent and christian and conversley be a bit simple and atheist, it's clearly not about intelligence, people are able to compartmentalise faith, it's probably served our species well, I think some evolutionary biologists have covered this issue. There is no evidence for the christian god, there are only arguments based on emotional pleading and arguments from incredulity, which we have seen on this and other threads that deal with this issue.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:31

And the argument that you are only Christian because you are born in the West and were brainwashed at school or by parents is a nonsense.

You're joking right!?!?! You really don't acknowledge the cultural element of faith? What evidence do you have? You know about Christianity because someone told you right? The same way an ancient Grecian would have been told about Zeus and a viking would have been told about Óðinn.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 09:35

My DH went to a private school with no Christian imput and had atheist parents but became a Christian at university and faced alot of family opposition because of it.

But christianity is the wallpaper faith of our society. It's embedded in our culture in weddings and funerals etc. Your husband was told about christianity, it was the faith he was most likely to hear about repeatedly, he was very unlikely to start worshipping Thor because he wasn't seeing many people do the same, unlike the Vikings.

SuggestmeaUsername · 20/02/2015 09:52

If you want to Headinhands, read the link below. Is up to you, you dont have to

www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:12

but you don't like what you perceived he did

Do you? Do you like the idea of him ordering people to murder babies?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:21

you dont have to

better still, you convince me in your own words. I've read a lot of the the bible and a lot of apologetic material when I was and after being a christian. What's so compelling in that article that you can't say yourself?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:25

But I don't let these religious nuts who kill in the name of their religion influence my beliefs. They disgust me

Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.

You really do make this too easy.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:32

That is from the Old Testament so is not Christianity#

Jesus quoted from the OT, he thought it was alright.

^Jesus quoted from 24 different Old Testament books.
The New Testament as a whole quotes from 34 books of the Old Testament Books. These 5 books are never quoted in the New Testament: Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon^

It's the same god for both is it not. The fact that the god you believe in is loving shows your advanced 21st century morals, and is great! But this lovely god is not backed up by the bible, it is, in essence, a god you have made in your own image.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:38

Jesus Christ and his teachings of love, caring, forgiveness

don't forget the casual racism!

headinhands · 20/02/2015 10:44

is ignoring that man has power to make changes

but it's always the ones who don't have the means to make changes that suffer the most, the abused child, the street children, the starving in Africa and yes as humans we do seek to eradicate suffering but wouldn't a loving god be moved to stop abuse in any way he could, in the same way we are? If you were walking down the street and saw a man raping a woman would you think 'I won't intervene, it's for someone else to, I don't want to effect his free will, he's not a puppet' or any of those usual theist responses? Why is it accepted that god doesn't act to prevent suffering, but seen as morally despicable if a human does the same? Why am I held to a higher standard of responsibility than god?

Swipe left for the next trending thread