Dickhead threatening to burn my hair!!

[ClockworkAngel]

I have just got in from an otherwise good night out. Rarely I have a child free night so I went out with a good friend for her birthday.
I was having a brilliant time but she had invited some friends of hers. All of them are lovely but one. I disliked him from the start. He kept criticising me. For instance he kept calling me boring because I wasn't drinking alcohol but kept on and on all night about it, telling me I needed to 'cheer up and smile' and 'get a few more drinks down and loosen up'. Really fucking annoying.
Towards the end of the night, waiting for taxis, I ended up talking to an old friend I happened to bump into and as my back was turned, this guy took a lighter out his pocket and threatened the others he would burn my hair. He lit the lighter and held it up really close to my hair.
I couldn't get over what this guy had done but everyone else said I was overreacting and that it's 'only hair'. But that isn' t the point is it? If he had threatened to burn my skin everyone would be up in arms but why is it any different because it's my hair?
Am I overreacting? It happened over and hour ago and I'm still thinking about it. Do I need to get a grip?
I think my problem is that I just cannot get over how fucking thick some people can be. Doesn't take a genius to work out that burning someone's hair or whatever is potentially dangerous.
TIA

Nick, do you see many male complainers who have had their hair burned?

See how few officers there are, then decide if you would prefer them to investigate people feeling threatened (some time after the event) and investigate obnoxious and abusive behaviour or if you want them there when there when someone is putting your and your families lives in danger?

Yes, it's important to understand what stops the police from taking threats against women seriously.

Crimes against other people.
Or crimes being committed against women by people who previously got away with threats to burn women's hair.

Maverick maybe if the OP does report this man she might prevent an incident like the one that happened to Katie Piper.

Because this mans behaviour could escalate.

Sorry i didnt mean that to sound like the onus is on the OP to prevent anything. The ONLY person responsible is the twunt who threatened her.

Because this mans behaviour could escalate.

It doesn't even have to escalate. If you are in the habit of doing something like this, eventually someone will be set alight. And I don't personally believe that this kind of not crime because it happens to women occur in a vacuum. He hardly picked this kind of not crime that violent men do to control women all over the world out of the air. And men who have this attitude that women need to respect them to be threatened with violence or assaulted don't give up abusing.

Eventually they escalate to murder. Then they were driven to it, of course. A long history of controlling, abusive behaviour never happened. It's just that this one last woman pushed this otherwise great man too far, the silly, utterly unique bitch.

Completely agree Apocalypse.

Yes, totally. I pushed someone over in the mud at school, and I am now involved in an international crime cyndicate. You have to kill anyone with the crime gene as soon as it materialises

Psychopathic behaviour. Just think, if he does that to you because he thinks you arent joining in with the fun, what in God's name would he do if you really upset him. He has a problem with women and no sense of 'norms'. Its NOT normal behaviour to threaten women under any circumstances. He needs anger management and i would suggest he has form for this kind of thing, people have patterns of behaviour even if its deviant behaviour. If they have done something once its more than statistically likely he has done it before and will go on to do it again and, escalate if unchecked.

Sounds like he fancied you and thought if you got drunk he would maybe have a chance! He sounds like a very nasty character. Sounds like he could not handle rejection.

is starting to lose meaning.

I'd report it, if the police file under shredder then fine, but if it builds up a bigger picture of someone known to them, possibly protecting future (wo) men then brilliant. You've nothing to lose reporting it.

Is threatening to set someone's hair or clothing on fire not assault where you are? (I doubt you could prosecute, unless one of the others were willing to come forth as a witness, but I'm not a lawyer) It's a crime.

The others may not have reacted any more strongly out of fear. They might have just frozen in response to a totally unexpected and scary situation (this is not uncommon). Or they may have been afraid that he would set them on fire if they said anything. I wouldn't want to do or say anything to provoke someone who had a lighter and was threatening to set someone on fire. I'd want to get out of that situation ASAP. Now, they may be rationalizing their actions to not feel bad about not standing up to him. None of this makes what he did anything close to OK.