To think that, as the working parent, I do not have to do half of the housework?

[mrsruffallo]

Just that really, Fed up with sahps moaning about their working partners not doing enough around the house. Well, that's the deal isn't it? I cook most nights but that's about it.

@ norland. No but it feels like that with 4 rambunctious dcs!! I think im slow next to you

I'd love to come home and do nothing apart from plonk my big bottom, on my perfectly cleaned sofa and drink wine!

Actually yetanother, i do fold some of the items pre-bed-dump and I did use to pay for somebody to iron it but she likes watching dreadful crap on the telly whilst ironing, so I spend the ironing money on a man to valet-clean my car instead now.

Actually yetanother, i do fold some of the items pre-bed-dump and I did use to pay for somebody to iron it but she likes watching dreadful crap on the telly whilst ironing, so I spend the ironing money on a man to valet-clean my car instead now.

Right... can people stop saying "I couldn't be a SAHP because I don't like housework"

Most WOHM I know go out to work and still do housework

I do not spend my entire fucking life doing housework

So fuck the fuckity fuck fuck off

Please

mrsruffallo, sosix Thanks guys!

Did I just read that someone can do the laundry in two minutes?? Maybe the act of opening the washing machine door and pressing a button, but there's the hanging (I'm a peasant and don't have a dryer :) ) Folding, ironing, and putting away. Even if you iron when needed it's still longer than a two minute job.

If Norland wrote my day to day chores I'm sure it would like like an organised 2hr or less job. in reality if you have a child at home it's a constant distraction.

But then I'm speaking as a new mum, some mums/dads can do it all with their eyes closed. But after being up all night it can take me 10 mins to fill the washing machine as I'll go upstairs 3 times and come back with nothing before I've remembered what I went up for :)

I think if your kids are at school then YANBU.
However, when I had 3 under 5 at home then DH , who worked long hours was probably doing more housework than me.
But then, I don't really see the point of sah once all your kids are at school. I couldn't wait to get back!

Why do people iron children's clothes??? I iron uniform, yes, and the odd shirt for ds1 if we go to a wedding or something. But I know mums who iron baby vests???? Wtf!!! Kids clothes just get shoved in their drawers.

hermit the newborn months with DD were about 10x harder than my (high pressure, long hours) job. DH agreed looking after her was harder than his job too. I remember getting cross with him because he'd been for a haircut in his lunch hour, and so was later home from work to help, while I hadn't had a minute to myself for weeks. DD was a bloody nightmare difficult baby. Hope yours is easier!!

which is why I said it depends on how hard the wohp is working during the day, relative to the SAHP...

Ironing stopped a long time ago here. Unless it's really needed...

Nancy not sure who you are referring to but I wasn't talking about ironing just childrens clothes, I'm talking about all the household laundry...

Although... I DO iron my DDs clothes, I tried not doing, but as I hang-dry everything it gets very scratchy/stiff even with soft rinse and she has very bad skin, ironing them softens them up and really helps her. Otherwise, I wouldn't be!

Nancy I have friends who ironed their baby's bibs. Mad. Mad, mad, mad!

I don't even iron uniform. I smooth it out carefully. It looks fine

OP YANBU if you mean 'housework' to be cleaning/food shopping/laundry type chores. SAHP with school aged kids should be doing all that tbh. In fact a SAHP of preschoolers and toddlers should be doing the bulk of it unless they have utter non-sleeping/non-napping nightmares (which, to be fair, plenty of babies and toddlers are). I'm a SAHM with three DC (two are at school, toddler is with me full time) and I do all the cleaning, laundry and general admin-keep-house-tidy type stuff. I also do the majority of food planning and shopping, but cooking/washing up is split 50:50 (whichever one of us hasn't cooked does the washing up).

What depresses me about this thread (apart from the 'Christ, I do 60 hours per week and absolutely everything the SAHM does AT THE SAME TIME WHILST BEING A TOP PROFESSIONAL' type posts) is how many women on here have their DH as the SAHP but are still whizzing round at weekends cleaning the bathroom/doing the shopping/tackling a week's worth of washing etc etc. Which brings it back down to the fact that women still seem to end up lumbered with the majority of domestic chores even when they are the breadwinner and the man is the SAHP. Which is shit, really.

My DP and I both commuted to and worked in London until I left my job start of October. Housework was split up until then.

Since then I get up same time as her and make her breakfast and lunch, tidy the house up, do the washing and ironing, go to the shops, make her dinner, wash up, do the weekly housework and other stuff.

To me it seems fair. She is in a stressful job and gets to relax when she gets home which means we have better quality time together and we get to have weekends free to relax or do other things.

Ill be back at work at some point so that will change but for the time being it seems like the right thing to do and is fair

minipie

DD STILL hasn't got a grip of day/night. She's asleep all day despite my best efforts, and is on one between the hours of 11pm and 6am! (she's just stirring right now, speak of the little devil) Naps for about 10 mins after feeds and then she has to be kept settled for the rest of the night while OH sleeps. We also spent our first week in hospital so the nights we're horrible being in a room full of other mums/screaming babies. lol!

I got relief for a week while OH was still on Paternity. He gets home in the afternoon and she's a little angel so he still has "me time" TV, computer, books, whatever he wants. I'm that knackered I'm a zombie. So I insist he helps with chores even with a roll of the eyes (practice for when I'm back full time I tell him! haha)

I can imagine it gets much much easier. Especially if children are at nursery/school most of the day. Then you aren't a SAHParent, you're a SAHPerson. ;)

Well partner works full time so I of course do all the housework, which makes sense I think. He does sometimes do the cooking in evenings enough, and when I work weekends makes sure I have a nice dinner on the table when I get back. I still do the washing, washing up etc... after work, but I like it done my way so really don't mind.
Partner never plays on the fact that be works full time so shouldn't lift a finger, he would be more than willing, I just prefer down it myself.

Reading some of the responses about struggling with young children and doing chores put me in mind of a useful tip.

My ex-wife and I had our first in 1988; useful as the Olympics were on in Seoul. So every time our daughter woke up for a feed (or just woke up!) I'd take her downstairs, put a bottle of best-expressed gold-top in the microwave and watch some games action.

I thoroughly recommend any would-be mums, to plan for the birth to be around the time of an Ashes Tour down under, a Rugby World Cup in the southern hemispehere, or a football world cup in Brazil or Argentina; or even the Vendee if you're stuck.

You'll get a good night's sleep, your husband will be too knackered to moan at you or pester you for attention when you don't feel up to it and you'll be fresh as a daisy for that endless round of spew-mopping during the day.

I'm really not sure why I should do 50% when I'm at home when I work a 60+ hour week. The SAHP should get 95% of all chores dodne during the day surely, so that we can both have leisure time as individuals and as a family. And that includes making the dinner and often clearing up.

And yes, I've been a SAHM and now WOHM. I now don't have do any chores if I don't want to and have a lie in at the weekend. It works for us.

Well it takes me more than 2 minutes to collect laundry from the random places dc leave it. I have stopped ironing as I cannot cope with it but hang uniforms up to dry. Hoovering downstairs 15 minutes. haha. It takes longer than that to get the rooms ready for vacuuming. Add in having to negotiate with a 2year old who thinks its fun to switch said hoover off and on?
Agree with dietcokeandwine. Although not really shre point of thread as I have never on here or heard in rl anyone saying wohm should do 50% housework. 50% of things whilst home maybe if sahm has babies or toddlers to look after. With school aged dc just taking it in turns to cook or wash up should be enough in the week but 50 50 at weekends.

Norland

My partner actually booked the whole world cup off work last year (to watch on telly, not go to!), maybe I should have had the baby a year early! ;) But... the games weren't on THAT late really.

Last night I managed to watch a 3 hour Michael Jackson film, some episodes of American Dad, and an Alexander McQueen interview. Random. Still planning tonight's entertainment.

Didn't he help out during the Autralian Open Hermit? That's the trouble with modern telly; when it was just four channels and a maximum of 4 hours on a video tape, there was no lying in bed with your tablet/phone, streaming stuff.

OP, I've yet to read anything that suggests you're being anything other thna very reasonable. All the recent posts have been qualified to explain why the Dyson Drivers are crap at dust-busting.

Norland Unfortunately only football interests him enough to make an effort to watch! ;)

He's sound asleep right next to me and the little un now. And will be until 7am.. sleeps through all the crap I watch /her crying/fussing (or at least pretends to :) ) !

Hmmmm---even when my child was a baby and I was on mat leave, we did not split things 50-50.

I know it depends on the baby, and some babies/mothers have health problems/special needs/depression which can make things difficult.

Under normal circumstances though, I think that once you are past the first couple of months you should be able to keep the house sorta under control. Put some laundry on, hang it out at some point in the day, get a meal on the table, get to the shops a couple of times a week.

Once they are at the toddler stage, you can usually put them in front of the TV for half an hour a couple of times a day while you wash some dishes, pick up some toys and bung the hoover round. It won't kill them not to be intensively interacted with every single second of their waking hours.

"....5 and a half hours in the day in between school runs. Of that, child related household tasks (cooking, shopping, ironing, washing, sorting out admin, tidying, birthdays etc) and things like watching plays/matches/going to school meetings etc will probably use up about 2 hours a day..."

Lookseriously, how on earth do you think dual income couples manage to send children to school? Attending the very occasional school play or match should not be consuming this amount of time. Why would cooking take up all that time when your kids are at school? Washing? I just put the machine on in the evening and hang the stuff out while the TV is on. Ironingwhat on earth is that?