To think that, as the working parent, I do not have to do half of the housework?

[mrsruffallo]

Just that really, Fed up with sahps moaning about their working partners not doing enough around the house. Well, that's the deal isn't it? I cook most nights but that's about it.

If the SAHP is expected to be working on housework and/or child care every waking hour, that's clearly U. SAHPs need downtime and leisure time, too.

zeezeek- Yes, I also cook healthier meals than he does!

DH had mum friends who are sahms, and they love to moan about their lot, they were here when I got home yesterday

DH has work colleagues. They like to have a good moan too. Sometimes I like to have a good moan with DH. The children just love a good moan. The dog often looks at me in a moany kind of a way when we have a difference of opinion.

Oh another MN thread where WOHMs have a pop at SAHMs.

What happens on a Saturday/Sunday OP. SAHP does it all as per, or chores divided up?

If the children are at school then it is not unreasonable for the sahp to do most house work.

Why are you infuriated by the claim that a sahp works?

And therefore it follows, mrsruffallo, that you are also entitled to have a good moan.

.

Well I work school hours 9-3 and walk 2 dogs too. This means that although I don't earn ANYWHERE near what my dh earns, I work the same hours. When my 3 children are home, I am looking after them. This means that I work a lot longer than my dh. However, he still thinks I should do 99% of the housework. He even complains about putting the bins out.

He totally expects to do nothing and gets into a real grump if he even empties the dishwasher.

Bastard - why am I married?

Saturday night I make dinner as usual. That's about it. What would you like me to be doing? DH is at home all week so housework doesn't need doing on weekend on any grand scale.

Yesitismeagain

My SIL is a SAHM with school age children. She and DB have a cleaner, but she expects other household jobs to be split 50/50. Her rationale is that even when the DC are at school she is still "on call" in case they are ill, or have to be picked up at odd times, so the time during school hours doesn't actually count as "leisure" time. Plus she has hobbies that can't be done during those hours so she's not getting to spend the time doing what she wants. It evidently works for her and DB,though I have to admit to thinking that she gets a good deal.

Just cooking the odd meal in the week or doing the washing up occassionally is enough. If my dh did that I would behappy.

We both work
I work 35 hrs some weeks 60 some weeks
DH works 60 hrs ( is out the house 60 hrs)
I do 100% of childcare and 100%housework
No it's not fair, yes I wish he did more. He finds doing more than his job just too much. So if I want anything done I do it.

I am very organised & time efficient, we just have to do what we have to do.
(Have been with DH 25 years, so am used to it now)

I agree with you. Unless you've got quads or something, I think doing the bulk of the domestic chores goes with the territory of being a SAHP.

I have always been a SAHP. I wouldn't dream of asking DP to start vacuuming and ironing at weekends when he is out of the house for 12 hours a day 5 days a week.

YANBU in your case as the kids are at school all day. No real excuses for not having a tidy house to come to.

No I play tennis, go for walks, days out and lunch and mumsnet. I do nearly all house and kid stuff though.

If you are the working parent, but the SAHP has under school aged children with no help, you are being extremely unreasonable.

YANBU. If the kids are school age it's a damn cheek to expect the sole earner to do half the chores imo.

Obviously OP - you should LTB - then all your meals will be Gillian McKeith worthy.

Yanbu, if kids are school aged then he needs to do the lions share. He can even do the cooking and cleaning up so all you can do is homework/ family time. A sahp whether with small children/ school age is much, much easier. I have done both sah and woh.

I must be lucky! DH comes home to a clean, tidy house and dinner made; but he washes up every night, helps with DDs bedtime, puts his washing away and does his ironing, makes his own lunch, puts bins out. Weekends we both do whatever needs doing. I can't imagine him expecting me to do everything just because I work less hours!

Being a SAHP isn't work, it's being a parent that doesn't have a job. The other parent is still a parent too and doubt they describe themselves as having two jobs. Looking after a child you chose to have is not work, it's called being a parent.

Not sure why it's fine to opt out of working and helping finance the household but not fine for the other to opt out of the housework in return. Surely that's the trade off for not having to work?

Sounds like a right partnership your marriage.

Dh has a highly stressful job but helps out around the house. We also have a cleaner but he will empty dishwasher, do the cooking or put a load of washing on.

Because my job as a mother is as important and as stressful as his (especially when I have a teething 1 year old and a hormonal 14 year old to contend with). He even suggested putting dd2 into nursery one day a week so I get to drink a hot cup of tea.

Have you spent some time with the kids? It might be harder than you think it is to get chores done while the kids are around. Don't go on what you think goes on in someone else's house, or on what you think went on in your house when you were growing up. There are a couple of things wrong with that approach. One is that you probably don't have the full picture in either of those situations. You have what people tell you is going on, which is not at all the same thing as what is going on. If you're thinking of your home when you grew up, memory is not 100% reliable.

Another problem is that those people have their kids, not your kids, and kids are not all the same. Some kids will happily play or read by themselves, some won't. It's not just a matter of age or discipline or training, either- temperament figures into it, and there's not much you can do to change your kid's temperament. If you've got a little extrovert who always wants someone doing stuff with him, that's going to make it harder to get chores done than it would be if you have a little introvert who is happy to read or play by herself.

I have never seen anywhere on MN where anyone has ever said that WOHPs should do 50% of the housework where there is a SAHP.

What people do say is that both parents should have equal downtime.

So at the weekends, yes, the WOHP should do 50%, and if the SAHP has been running ragged all day doing a reasonable amount of housework and childcare instead of spending all day at the gym or watching Jezza Kyle, then when the WOHP gets home they should muck in together until all the work is done instead of the WOHP putting their feet up and playing X-Box while the SAHP is putting in a futher 3-4 hours of work with bedtime/dinner prep.

I agree op, especially if dc aren't in all day.