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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my DB WBU to send me this email?

262 replies

dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:17

I quote:

"Dear XX

Thanks for the thank you card. Thanks also for the teapot and mugs.

I am however perplexed by the presents you gave [XX ( his son) XX]. Clothes for a five and a seven year old. Five, I could just about understand, as something to grow into in a couple of years, although we thought it a little peculiar, when paired with a card for a three year old. Seven, I'm sorry, makes no sense whatsoever. XX [his wife] and I found it quite upsetting.

I really don't want to have to experience a feeling of dread every time we get something from you, which is the case now. I would therefore prefer not to exchange cards or presents in the future.

I'm very pleased to hear that you have found a nice house that that [XX your son, ie my own son] is settling into the new school and [XX your daughter, ie my own DD] is thriving at her school. We wish you the best of times."

OP posts:
IsabeauMichelle · 31/01/2015 15:18

How old are his dc?

EatShitDerek · 31/01/2015 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 31/01/2015 15:19

Were the gifts age appropriate?

MrsRaegan · 31/01/2015 15:19

So you sent his DS some clothes and he's quite upset? Hmm
It is quite a leap in ages but nothing to be upset over!

EatShitDerek · 31/01/2015 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:20

In my defense, I got the child some designer T shirts from brands which are notoriously on the small side.

As we all know, no one gets a three year old an aged 3 T shirt as sizes are aged 2-3 anyway, and he'd only get a month's wear out of it. Aged 3-4 is probably OK, but wouldn't he have a wardrobe full of that anyway? Aged 4-5 is the perfect size to send as a gift, which is what I gave him.

The age 7 was thought about carefully - they didn't have it in a 5 or a 6 and I thought they'd like the design. And as that especially was from a brand which is really on the small size, I thought it best to err on the side of caution and let them put it in the wardrobe for when he's a bit older.

OP posts:
MrsRaegan · 31/01/2015 15:20

I read it as you sent some clothes in ages 5-7 for his 3 yeard old? Is that right?

WilsonWilsonWoman · 31/01/2015 15:20

Did you buy a 3 yo clothes to fit a 5 and 7 yo? Why? Confused

PtolemysNeedle · 31/01/2015 15:20

Did you really send age 7 clothes for a three year old?

magpieginglebells · 31/01/2015 15:20

How old is his child? What age/ size did you buy?

MrsRaegan · 31/01/2015 15:21

Tell them to jog on then! Ungrateful much!?

Original poster
dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:21

He's 3.

My own son is 7 and in aged 9-10.

I have friends who have girls who are 6 and requested aged 9-10 sizes for dresses which I gave them for xmas.

OP posts:
Original poster
dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:21

He's 3.

My own son is 7 and in aged 9-10.

I have friends who have girls who are 6 and requested aged 9-10 sizes for dresses which I gave them for xmas.

OP posts:
magpieginglebells · 31/01/2015 15:22

Cross posts. Yes it's odd that you got a 7 year old size item for a 3 year old!!

ImperialBlether · 31/01/2015 15:22

Did you explain any of that to him? I would have taken it that you had forgotten how old his son was/how small he was.

LIZS · 31/01/2015 15:22

In that case suspect they may simply not appreciate the logic and thought you'd put in. Clothes aren't terribly exciting gifts for young children. Harsh not to even send cards though.

WilsonWilsonWoman · 31/01/2015 15:22

x post sorry, but so bizarre you would buy him things he can't wear for years.

BloominNora · 31/01/2015 15:22

He is being a bit melodramatic - he could have just asked for the reciept to change them.

But I have to ask - why did you buy a three year old age 5 and 7 clothes? ConfusedGrin

EatShitDerek · 31/01/2015 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yellowdinosauragain · 31/01/2015 15:23

I'd reply 'fine, stick the presents up your arse you rude ungrateful twat' Angry

So ok clothes for a 5 and 7 use old are probably not the most appropriate or thoughtful presents for a 3 year old but they certainly don't warrant such a bloody rude email...

PtolemysNeedle · 31/01/2015 15:23

Ok, so no, I don't think your brother is being unreasonable.

Three year olds don't want presents that can be put away and used in a few years time. Your brother was perfectly polite, and it's fine for him to think it's best that you don't exchange presents for now and then tell you about it in an email.

LapsedTwentysomething · 31/01/2015 15:23

Did you explain your thinking? The email was out of order but I would be a bit bemused if someone gave my teeny DS (2) 6 yo clothes.

WipsGlitter · 31/01/2015 15:24

Why did you send them those presents?

FryOneFatManic · 31/01/2015 15:24

Unless you have a history of weird gifts for your DB and his family, then it's an odd email. Upsetting? how odd.

And perhaps he needs to do clothes shopping for kids more. I have to buy clothes labelled in different ages for my son, because he's small, and has a long body with short legs.

He's 11 next month and I still buy trousers sized 9-10 years from some places (especially as he will wear them low round his hips).

DragonMamma · 31/01/2015 15:24

I can just about understand the 5yo size for a 3yo. I have a 3.5 year old so if it's 3-4 or 5-6 I get the latter. I cannot fathom why you would ever buy aged 7 for a just turned 3yo.

One of my relatives bought my 7yo DD aged 10-11 jeans. They were a mistake on her part so I would pretend the 7yo clothes were an error.

Your DB wnbu to send you that email.