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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my DB WBU to send me this email?

262 replies

dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:17

I quote:

"Dear XX

Thanks for the thank you card. Thanks also for the teapot and mugs.

I am however perplexed by the presents you gave [XX ( his son) XX]. Clothes for a five and a seven year old. Five, I could just about understand, as something to grow into in a couple of years, although we thought it a little peculiar, when paired with a card for a three year old. Seven, I'm sorry, makes no sense whatsoever. XX [his wife] and I found it quite upsetting.

I really don't want to have to experience a feeling of dread every time we get something from you, which is the case now. I would therefore prefer not to exchange cards or presents in the future.

I'm very pleased to hear that you have found a nice house that that [XX your son, ie my own son] is settling into the new school and [XX your daughter, ie my own DD] is thriving at her school. We wish you the best of times."

OP posts:
Jengnr · 31/01/2015 15:24

I can't believe you sent age seven clothes for a three year old but 'upsetting' and 'dread' is a ridiculous overreaction.

So you all sound like oddballs to me.

Original poster
dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:25

I bought them large because the brands are small. So an age 5 would fit a 3 year old, plus one for the cupboard to fit him next year.

I used this brand for my own DD when she was little and she always needed a couple of sizes larger than her age (small sizing, not fat child).

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 31/01/2015 15:25

Really really rude of him. I'd be telling him to fuck right off. The only acceptable response to a present is ," thank you".
Is there a history of aggressiveness on his part?

IamTitanium · 31/01/2015 15:25

Do you think maybe they think you gave your Sons clothes?

Anyway its odd as fuck, "quite upsetting" Hmm

magpieginglebells · 31/01/2015 15:25

Have you given strange gifts in the past?

BloominNora · 31/01/2015 15:25

But buying bigger clothes when you've been asked is different to just doing it off your own back. My three year old is tiny and probably won'twon't be in size 7 clothes till she'sshe's about 10!

betweenmarchandmay · 31/01/2015 15:25

Agree with jen

GlitzAndGigglesx · 31/01/2015 15:25

What a rude drama queen he is. My dd is 3 and I buy 4-5. Someone bought her a coat age 6-7 because if was the last one. It's loose but looks nice on

coppertop · 31/01/2015 15:26

Why on earth was it upsetting to receive a bigger t-shirt? Confused

Those sizes would have been about right for my dd when she was 3yrs old. The 5yr size would have been a perfect fit, with the 7yr size ready to grow into.

LIZS · 31/01/2015 15:26

He probably thinks they were your ds' rejects!

diddlediddledumpling · 31/01/2015 15:26

I think he was totally out of order to send that email.
However, I think he and sil are speculating over why you bought the age 7 tshirt. I can't think of any reason why the response to the shop not having his size wouldn't be to buy something else instead. I know they can put it in the wardrobe, but equally, you could have bought it next year.

PtolemysNeedle · 31/01/2015 15:26

What did you give for Christmas?

lunar1 · 31/01/2015 15:26

That a fucking rude email no matter what you sent!

ImperialBlether · 31/01/2015 15:27

This clearly isn't the first time it's happened as they experience dread now when they open a parcel from you! He does sound a bit of a prima donna, tbh, but what the hell have you been sending him?

Floggingmolly · 31/01/2015 15:27

It wouldn't have mattered if you'd sent the child clothes for a 25 year old to grow into; it would hardly elicit any more than a mild sense of Confused, nothing warrants a feeling of dread on opening a parcel???

Unless you've previously sent a dead rat or horse's head for a "laugh"?
The only mitigating circumstances I'd accept for the email was if he was extremely drunk when he sent it.
Arsehole.

DragonMamma · 31/01/2015 15:28

Just read your last post, was it the same item in two different sizes?

Flimflammer · 31/01/2015 15:28

He opened the presents with dread because the age label was wrong, what a twat. I would write back explaining why i chose the sizes, apologising for causing him pain and suffering, but say that I will continue to send presents for my neice/nephew. If he does not want to reciprocate that's his business.

It is a bit odd to send the sizes you did, perhaps they thought you had found some cheap bin ends? As long as the clothes were nice, what's the big deal keeping a few t shirts for a couple of years.

yellowdinosauragain · 31/01/2015 15:28

That a fucking rude email no matter what you sent!

This. Unless you capped in a box or sect him porn or a bottle of vodka or something. I mean what a fucking giant over reaction!

yellowdinosauragain · 31/01/2015 15:28

Crapped not capped

pudding25 · 31/01/2015 15:29

He's ridiculously rude and you should tell him that.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 31/01/2015 15:29

I read the email being that the brother has one son, aged 3, and the OP bought some clothes aged 5 and some aged 7 for the brother's 3 year old. Which is weird.

I can understand the "aged 5" if the top or whatever looked on the small side, and the nephew is quite tall for his age, although I would have put a little note in saying so.

But 7 is plain odd. I think if I'd received aged 7 clothes when my dc were 3 I would have been a bit perplexed.

helenthemadex · 31/01/2015 15:29

I would find it odd to receive clothes aged 5 and 7 for a 3 year old, but I would probably not say anything

sounds to me like there is a back story

Original poster
dougierose · 31/01/2015 15:30

No, DragonMamma, two different designs. I thought they'd like it. Obviously wrong.

I can't remember what I got him for xmas. We moved house on 23 December so to be honest everything over that period is a bit of a blur.

OP posts:
Justwheesht · 31/01/2015 15:30

I would just email him back apologising and you thought the clothes were on the small side therefore got bigger sizes and in future send gift vouchers.

It is rude of your brother and yes, perhaps he is a bit ungrateful. He obviously feels comfortable with telling you the truth which is a good thing!

It's your nephew. Surely you want to buy him something he'll enjoy.

FightOrFlight · 31/01/2015 15:30

Rude email but buying aged 7 clothes for a 3 year old is really odd.

Maybe he thought you were inferring that his child is freakishly large or fat.

Yes the child will eventually 'grow into it' but who wants to keep clothes for that length of time hanging uselessly in the wardrobe.

Not sure what the design was on it but if it's something a 3 year old is 'into' now it doesn't mean he'll still like it in a year or two.