To think it's not ok for married man

[changeclothesss]

To go round to female colleagues house to 'help her with her tax return' and stay for dinner?

Well if that is what he is really doing what's wrong with it.

Why is it not ok?

Eh?

If that's what he's doing I don't see a problem. Presumably since you put it in inverted commas you don't think that's what they're doing.

Provided that the married man in question has merely helped with a tax return and then stayed on to have dinner I don't see what the problem is.

So you don't think there was any 'tax return' being returned

So you think your husband is shagging her? Guess there must be a few cracks in your relationship already if you suspect anything other than what he says they are doing.

Eh? Is helping with a tax return a euphemism.

Is the colleague in question self employed? A freelancer?

Oh and is your dh experienced in filling in tax returns for himself or others?

Of course that's fine.

Most men married or not are perfectly capable of being in a woman's company without behaving badly

My DH has actually done something very similar - legal form rather than a tax return - never occurred to me that I should mind!

No, it's not ok. It's not ok in the least.

Married men should go out to work, finish at 5 and be home ready to co-join with their wives by 6. They should be branded with a property number too, lest anyone forgets that they belong to someone. Any married man caught helping out a woman who is not his wife should be horsewhipped. Eating with a woman to whom a man is not married should result in immediate beheading.

God! I'm glad not everyone has this attitude or I'd be screwed! The number of times friends partners have helped me with my car is numerable!

Although I would never cook for them as it would probably be their last meal.

If he's sorted her tax return dinner is the least she can do.

I have no idea what marital status has to do with anything or why "help her with her tax return" is in inverted commas.

unless there is a massive backstory then Yabvu.

men and women can be friends without it meaning sex you know

No, clearly he's fiddling with her bottom line.

Give the bugger his P45 and tell him to watch his P&L in future or both his cash flow and bottom line will suffer to the point of physical and emotional bankruptcy

Seriously - sounds to me like a nice gesture in lieu of a favour tbh unless there's more backstory here.

Being friends with someone while you're married is fine, as is doing them favours, sharing meals; going outside the agreed bounds of the relationship is not, for instance having sex with someone when you've agreed to be monogamous. M.U.S.T. R.E.S.I.S.T saying "Simples!"

YABU

What makes you ask this question, with this set of circumstances?

They are both technically freelance so there is a tax return to do but he's not an expert has just done his own.

There isn't much of a back story other than I get the feeling they're a bit too close. I don't think he's doing anything and do trust him but don't really like the idea of them spending the evening alone at her house then having a cosy dinner when they could do it during the day

All sounds fine until you say you feel "they're too close".

Unless you have form for irrational green eyed monster behaviour, your feelings are there for a reason - a spidey sense if you like. I wouldn't like dh getting 'too close' to another woman - friends is fine, tax return and dinner in return is fine, "too close" is not.

Tricky isn't it. Have you met her?Might help to see things more clearly. I no longer trust my OH with female "friends"... wish I could have.

I am a single man aged 30. I have lots of female friends and colleagues. I would be horrified if me spending time with them resulted in this sort of response from a hypothetical partner!

Nothing wrong with that.
Unless he has a history of lodging his return where he shouldn't.

Perhaps, offer to make dessert and join them with a bottle of wine at the end of the evening? Whether he's keen to see you and for you to join in the friendliness or is desperate to avoid you meeting her, might give you more indication of how innocent their relationship is.

However, you should take any relationship advice from me cautiously, as I am not successful in love so...