To think it's not ok for married man

[changeclothesss]

To go round to female colleagues house to 'help her with her tax return' and stay for dinner?

I trust my DH 100% but would i like him having dinner alone with another woman? Probably not. But I know he never would cos he'd be wanting to get back to me. I can't ever imagine that he'd ever want to have a dinner with another woman.
The fact that your DH has accepted the offer of dinner instead of saying "it's ok thanks, I best get home and see changeclothesss" would bother me. But we don't get many evenings together, maybe that's why it would bother me. Maybe if I got every night with him I'd be glad he was out.

But at least he has been honest about it, if he had anything to hide he'd probably be saying he was out with the lads.

God forbid a married man would take dinner with single female!
She must be a harlot at least, the cheek of her.
Op grow up, men are perfectly capable of controlling themselves and if they don't that is their issue to be dealt with as their partner wishes

Is this your husband? If so, only you know how far you would trust him. I'd trust DH completely, but we tend to have a 'don't be alone' policy to avoid giving the wrong impression to all the 'curtain twitchers'.

If he isn't your husband, I'd suggest you mind your own business until you have more concrete proof besides your 'feelings'.

Don't sew the problem, hubby does favours for both female and male colleagues if he is there around meal time, usually eats with them. So long as not some woman every week then fine surely? Plus tax returns are due tomorrow so she may be stressed and asked for help. Surely nice of dh to offer?

Sorry but why are you married to someone that you don't trust?

You are being ridiculous and sound like the batshit jealous type. Men and women can be friends and do each other favours without putting their bits in each other!

Oh crumbs. I have to work away all the time and if I wasn't allowed ever to have dinner with a married man it would be a pretty miserable existence! I do sometimes wonder what their wives think - they must think I'm some kind of awful slut!

You are officially being weird. Of course it's ok!

Unclench. And then take a good look at why you feel you can't trust your OH.

My DH goes every week to band practice with a female friend and eats tea there. I've had my best friend's husband fix my washing machine and boiler and stay for food.
I don't see why they should be rushing home to see you after being gone for a couple of hours, or why it's not appropriate to share food.

Eek! I had dinner alone with a married man last week. It didn't occur to his wife or my partner to be batshit jealous. Clearly they don't love us ??
Seriously OP have a good think about why you feel this way. Do NOT offer to turn up with dessert - you will look like a jealous loon checking up on your DH. Go and do something nice without him. And unclench.

Um no I would not be ok with this and think the people saying that YABU are full of it.

I wonder if their husbands were doing this they would feel the Same way

I too would not be ok with it. My DH wouldn't want to anyway , he would probably ask someone to come over to ours instead.

I would be fuming!! Are all you women for real??? No man goes to another woman's house and stays for dinner as a 'nice thing to do'. Most men I know want to get back to their own house asap. Call me jealous or green eyed or whatever you like - all I know is that is suspicious!!!

Yes I am for real. It's no issue to me. If the OP is concerned then she should say she isn't comfortable with him doing this and explain why. Either discuss it or let it happen.

Erm, plenty of men do. It would be completely unremarkable in my circle of friends.

fairy I have never heard of anyone in my life having relationships like that with men whilst married. Whilst I find that really nice that you can do that I find it very odd and not the norm. I used to sleep over at friends when I was 16, I get a cab home now.

I'm with MrsMinton, my OH and I have been doing this sort of thing for years. Being alone with a member of the opposite sex we are not related to for an extended period of time. Sometimes eating there. I've even...spent the night!
We trust each other.
If you don't like what he's doing, then you need to say so clearly and have that discussion.

My dh has meals with other women at least once a month. He's obviously shagging ALL of them at the same time.

Although to be serious OP, if you do have reason to not trust him and you think they are too close, I can understand your concern. Why don't you trust him?

I wouldn't like it because it would be so out of character for my husband.

He loves being at home and if he was to help out a friend he would want to get home asap, male or female. Not because he is in a massive rush to come back to me but he genuinely loves being at home and doesn't like going out. So if he was to help out a female friend and stay for dinner I think with him it would be a sign that he was getting pretty darn close to her and that would worry me.

Whether or not yabu depends on so many things really. It's easy to tell you to grow up but there is a chance your instincts are telling you something or there are other reasons to doubt him. If you have form for being jealous and insecure for no reason then YABU but without a backstory it is impossible to say you are a bat shit crazy jealous person.

Tax return= not much of an aphrodisiac.

Perhaps they'll have oysters after the tax return.....

Arf.

Can I ask the people outraged at the 'stayed for dinner' bit, are you all thinking of a candle lit, three course meal with Barry White playing in the background? Maybe that's the problem,

It all depends on the individual situation. (as with most things)

My DH has no female friends. He works in an all male environment and the only women he talks to are the ones in his family and occasionally the W and Gs we might briefly meet any couples get-togethers through his work. Therefore for DH to be suddenly spending the afternoon and having dinner with a random woman would be front page news in this house and wouldn't go down too well with me because of it. It would mean he had sought out a relationship with another woman quite specifically somehow. Same with me having dinner with some bloke. DH would be

In others relationships with other people it's different. Some couples have lots of mixed sex friends and aquaintances from the start and so it's no big deal.

There's no right or wrong about either of the above situations.

The thing here is that OP is saying she feels they are 'too close', but hasn't elaborated. Perhaps if she would we could get a better feel for weather this is something to get twitchy about or not. Just because it's ok for men and women to be friends it doesn't mean that in every situation forever it's always innocent. Just as it isn't always dodgy.

Men and women can mix and eat dinner without it being a pre sex activity

so your husband isn't allowed to ever eat with 50% of the population?

hell I've slept in the same bed as male and female friends without there being anything going on