To think it's not ok for married man

[changeclothesss]

To go round to female colleagues house to 'help her with her tax return' and stay for dinner?

Fairy and skating my DH has slept there too after gigs rather than come home and disturb me and the boys in the wee small hours.

PJ, your experience is absolutely not the norm among people I know. They'd find the sort of sexual segregation you see as normal as weird, sad, and irrational.

Some of my closest friends are men. Sometimes I'll have a drink or a meal with just one of them. None of us have a lot of romantic or sexual interest in each other. We're just adults who have things I'm common and enjoy each other's company, the fact that we all have spouses doesn't change that.

Equally, my husband has female friends. Why not?

I do find the viewpoint that men and women are unable to have platonic friendships really weird and frankly quite demeaning to both men and women.

I have close male friends. The fact I am married does not come into it. There are still some very old fashioned and weird attitudes still around!

I am married. I regularly lift weights with a married male friend and - gasp - have something to eat afterwards.
Last week we even went to the pub together while my DH went home to put DS to bed. This is an unremarkable, ordinary, healthy friendship and nothing more.

Unless there's much more to it, I am baffled by the sort of insecurity and jealousy in the OP.

It's amazing how many affair threads are on here from women who thought they was in 'loving, stable, strong' relationships. I agree that women can be friends with men no problem, the problem is - men think with their cock. Do not believe that men think like us they really don't.

There are a lot of women married to untrustworthy, unreliable, unfaithful men. And vice versa.
The fact that many of us are not doesn't mean that the OP is imagining things or jealous and possessive. She could be married to an arse. MN is crammed with people that are, and although that's not my experience IRL or that of my friends, it doesn't make all those posters liars.
That's why she needs to talk with him and explain how she feels, and then decide what to do next on the basis of his response.

You sound insecure and paranoid OP.
Is there more? Will you start drip feeding?

It sounds like one for Jeremy Kyle.

PJ2000 that is a very sexist comment. Not all men "think with their cock", what a ridiculous thing to say!

I think people might be giving the OP a hard time. She hasn't given enough information really.

If this was a female friend sufficiently close to agree to give up an evening to help sort out taxes, then you'd think the OP would know her, and feel comfortable with the dynamics of the friendship.

Then again, if it's a colleague that her husband hasn't known long, that she has never met and has zero clue about, then well, yeah, I wouldn't be too impressed in that situation either.

That's completely different to saying - as people are here - that the OP isn't EVER happy with her husband EVER socialising with other women in ANY circumstances.

I think people have been pretty harsh on the OP actually.

'men think with their cock. Do not believe that men think like us they really don't.'

That's a dreadful, generalised opinion of way too many people.
It's like me saying that all women are whiney parasites that feel the world owes them a living because they can produce children. Just wrong.

The OP is seeking advice. She has her senses telling her something isn't quite right, that her husband and another woman are too close.

That's not a nice place to be in.

None of the married men I spend time alone with have ever shown the slightest inclination to have sec with me. I must be hideously unattractive. Or, you know, friends with nice guys who love their wives, with whom I am also friends, who occasionally like to leave the house without kids in order to do something that their wife isn't particularly interested in.

Yes PJ2000 makes you sound bitter and twisted.
And I speak as someone about to divorce h in a week.

Again, PJ, if that's your experience I think that's incredibly sad.

Most relationships I know that have broken down were due to problems between the couple. Those where there has been cheating? Well, it wasn't because the husband had female friends.

I have a slightly higher opinion of my DH rhan that as he's shown pretty good evidence of thinking with his brain. I don't have such a low opinion of him or his female friends to think that there is any risk of them cheating on their spouses simply because they get on well and they have interlocking genitalia.

All men think with their cock. I stand by that comment.

Line, sometimes people's senses are wrong because they've been socialised in a certain way - aa seen by some of the nonsense on this thread.

It may not be the case for OP, but it's worth considering.

You need to change your friendships then, if you've never met a man who doesn't want to shag you.

Any evidence, PJ, or are you just clinging to stereotypes because they fit your world view?

I wouldn't be with my husband if I thought that were true for him. The relationship would be sad and intolerable.

I wouldn't be close friends with men if I thought it was true for them. Fortunately, none of my male friends have ever made a pass at me. Other men have, so I'm not unattractive to men. Or women, come to that.

PJ what a sexist, stupid thing to say.

skating don't worry I don't think I'm that nice.

None of my male friends or colleagues, nor any of my friends husbands have ever attempted anything inappropriate with me.

Either I'm spectacularly unattractive (although I've had a lot of interest from men over the years, so that seems a little bit unlikely) or actually many, possibly most, men are capable of keeping it in their trousers where it should be.

Here's a thought.

If he's banging her, then they will find a way whether or not you make a fuss and prevent him going round to do tax returns.

But friends are friends regardless of gender and being close doesn't mean anything sexual

As a single woman I can confirm that I have frequently had dinner with married men - and even occasionally had them round to my house to help me with DIY and cooked for them afterwards - without a single instance of us both ripping off our clothes and shagging violently on the sofa.

Usually we just moan about work for a bit, talk about politics and then say goodbye with me passing on my best wishes to his wife/partner. Just like I might with a female friend.

My husband doesn't think with his cock. Not even a little bit!

Actually, I don't have one single man in my life who does.

I think people have been too harsh on the OP as well.

We don't know why she feels this way yet so telling her to grow up or calling her bat shit is a bit premature. Even if she is just insecure and jealous I don't find those kind of replies really helpful. There could be a variety of reasons why she feels the way to do and I wouldn't be so quick to judge on two posts. Perhaps as another pp said, it is just this woman she feels uncomfortable with. Maybe she doesn't have a problem with him spending time with females in general.

I doubt she will really want to come back now though. OP might be an idea to start a thread in relationships if you want to talk things through.