To think it's not ok for married man

[changeclothesss]

To go round to female colleagues house to 'help her with her tax return' and stay for dinner?

erm if every black person she met was racist I would say that - sorry

if she is asserting that every man she knows just looks at your tits and thinks with his cock then she must know some right fucknuggets

or maybe - you know - I was calling her on the utter bolloxs of her whole argument

It's not even an argument it's hateful drivel. I have a son and the thought of him facing prejudice from people like her worries me.

I'm on the fence purely due to the nature of the task he's helping her with. There's a hell of a lot of personal financial information being shared if someone is doing your tax return. It's not the same as DIY/car jobs IMO.

Anyway the workplace affair is a cliche for a reason - it's very common!

So OP, it would not be reasonable to assume they are shagging, but it would be reasonable to consider the possibility. You need to put it together with all the other background info you have to decide whether to forget this or keep it in mind.

If you read the relationships board on the affair threads, it will often say "I never thought this would happen to me, our marriage was solid, he's not the type to cheat" etc etc.

I don't know why people get so strange about this - this is exactly how affairs can start.

I have two friends whose husbands had affairs in exactly this type of scenario - OP feels he's getting too close to another woman, I think it's a bit dismissive to just poo-poo her feelings like this.

I had a male friend around to help move my shed, gave him dinner, didn't accidentally fall on his cock. Think it's ok tbh

So are you lot saying you disagree with me?

Here's another little gem you lot will love 'men are only as faithful as their options'.

don't worry Manup most women do not think this way - I am fairly sure the men I work with are too busy working with me to car about my tits

I'd say it depends how big your tits are to be sure.

Yeah, that's bullshit too. I suggest you try to broaden your social circle - it sounds awful. Both the men you know and the way women think of them. Can't think of anything worse. I'd move, change my name, and meet new people.

people are who they are. If they are cheaters they will cheat. no amount of suspicion or removing of opportunities will change that.

If you trust someone you trust someone and that includes any multitude of circumstances they are presented with.

men men and women are capable of cheating. bit they are also capable of being perfectly decent people who have no inclination to do anything beside be their friend.

This always thinking with their cock thing is just Bs.

or wed be walking past piles of bi sexual men with smoke coming out of their ears because there's no room for anything else on their heads with thinking about every persons they sees genitals or breasts.

Hotfuzzra ha! Mine thinks ...but if it's with a body part it would be his belly.
So I might get jealous if the dinner was amazingly good!

I'd say it depends how big your tits are to be sure.

Well you are certainly proving yourself to be a massive tit with your sweeping statements.

Hatespiders WINS the thread. Applause.

Years ago I worked as a secretary for a married man (gasp!)

If we worked late, sometimes he would take me out for a drink afterwards - and he never came on to me or indicated in any way that he would be interested. Nor did he "size up my tits". He even used to phone his wife to let her know when we were going and she had no issue with this.

So shockingly it would appear that men CAN sometimes control themselves.....

What really gets to me about threads like this is if you were to reverse the genders then OP would probably be getting told they are controlling, it's a form of abuse and his wife should leave him.

Every hetrosexual partnership with a female nanny, au pair, regular babysitter, visiting/going to visit a female relative over 16...
It's a minefield of cock-driven lust out there!

If that's what he's actually doing then there's nothing wrong with it, it means he's a helpful pleasant person but you clearly doubt that's what actually happened. If you don't mind me asking, have you got any reason to doubt he's telling the truth, has he lied to you before, has stuff like this happened before and you later found out there was more involved?

On it's own there is nothing wrong with a married man doing this, he is allowed to have female friends and help them out with stuff just as you are allowed to have male friends and help them, it's not unreasonable. If there's something to suggest he's lying or he has a history of cheating on you then it's not unreasonable to be questioning this. That's what I think.

OP asked for a fairly neutral "Is it generally not ok for...?" perspective check.

The overall opinion seems to be that it is fine and most of us wouldn't be worried.

However nothing is ok if it is an affair - and if that's what he is doing, that's what he is doing. The Tax Return is neither here not there.

So, if she has no other grounds, then she is being unreasonable. If she has a suspicion, other "evidence" or bad feeling generally then the Tax Return is a red herring. She should deal with the fact that there are trust issues between herself and her DH .

Good luck OP

Well as long as he doesn't dip his ink while crossing the t's and dotting the I's.

I don't know why people are taking the piss

Op is there more to this.. you say you think they're a bit closer than you like.

We have gut instincts for a reason but an easy way of sorting the wheat from the chaff is to ask what time you were both going.. sounds yummy and shall you take anything along. Even if there's no way re babysitters and the like you can bluff that one.

He won't want you there if he was interested in her and wants alone time.

My last post was a response to PJ, not the OP. Just in case that wasn't clear enough.

Then do the usual full sweep - check phone, emails etc If you look in history of the mail folder even though you cant read the email you sometimes see the Subject title, also an absence of an history could point to intentional hiding.

Then do the usual full sweep - check phone, emails etc If you look in history of the mail folder even though you cant read the email you sometimes see the Subject title, also an absence of an history could point to intentional hiding

by that point isnt it already over no matter what you do or don't find?

I'd be fuming if my dh went to help a female colleague with her tax return and stayed for dinner!

Although I've noticed on mn the general consensus is that even if your dh tells you he is off on holiday with a female friend who happens to be a model who has the hots for him, then to object at all means you are an insecure, nagging, suspicious wife who doesn't think men and women can have platonic friendships!