AIBU to want to go boo hoo hahaha when men say they feel excluded by the the term "feminist"

[GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman]

Just wondering if anyone else thinks like me...Go.

Ok here's a difference. When 20 men were asked what might scare them about women they said they might laugh at them. When 20 women were asked similar about men, the women said they feared the men might kill them.

Indeed, and for some men the former is a reasonable excuse for the latter

yabu
then I don't see men as the enemy

I too agree with Far. It's such a petty mindset you have op. I don't hate men or feel one is superior to the other either. Yabu

Men who think feminism should be cancelled because it makes them feel left out are the enemy.

Self-pitying twats.

Caro many of the ways in which men feel 'excluded' (childcare, enforced macho culture, infantilisation) are still due to the patriarchy and would be solved by feminism.

Lol at feminism being about hating men or thinking women are superior

Goddess I was thinking of that very phrase last night. 2 women a week are killed by a current or former partner. Just for one second imagine if I said two men are killed a week by the wife or former girlfriend. There would be headline news.

Petula people who think that are clearly mixing up misogyny and hatred of women. Silly them. I have never met a man hating feminist, in fact most I have met are married and/or have sons.

I just don't have the energy to care if men feel excluded by feminism. Surely if men are actually feminist then they'll understand that there are times they need to take a step back. Otherwise they're trying to make it all about them, and that is not a very feminist thing to do...

In fact, I'll add to that: in my experience, the men I have met who whinge about not being included enough in feminism are, for the most part, twats. When I was online dating I was quite vocal about feminism in my profile (because I did seem to attract a lot of dicks, which was nice). The result was that I either got a lot of messages just wanting an argument, or messages from people being all "oh I am a feminist nice guy! See how nice I am being!"

It's something I've encountered in real life too though. It's like, seriously mate, believing that people should be equal doesnt make you deserving of a gold fucking star or something, it just makes you a decent human being. If you truly believe in what you're saying, you wouldn't be trying to muscle in and take over a movement that is primarily trying to redress gender power balances.

It doesn't make me laugh, but I automatically label them as fucking wankers.

Why? Because it's a way of bringing the conversation back to THEM.

Not "I accept that I have so much privilege throughout my entire life simply through being a man, so I'm okay with this term focussing on the actual half of the population who still don't have equality".

But instead "This is how this term affects ME. Why won't you think of MY feelings? Let's talk about ME and how this term about inequality hurts ME PERSONALLY - a man who already has way more privilege than the vast majority of women just because of the cock between my legs. After all, my feelings, as a man, are what is really important."

It's not like for LGBT right, you get a bunch of heterosexual people (some, but not many) stamping their feets and saying "what about MY rights as a heterosexual person? Why can't you just say "sexual equality for all", why are you EXCLUDING me?

I do know what you mean, but I would also acknowledge that there is a huge amount of socialistion that we all get, that the battles of feminism are over and done, and so on.

I think rednails'' analogy to LGBT is brilliant, because of course it does make sense. But, I can forgive someone for not realizing that once, because I can remember holding opinions I disagree with now.

I do think, though, that men who persistently bang on about this when someone's taken the trouble to explain it are utter, utter selfish wankers.

Who expect mummy to care. Because what else are women for but to soothe and make it all ok for the little princey?

Men are fighting to get equality as well so I would say that any attempt by either gender to belittle the other is counter productive. We both want the same thing, to not be treated differently because of our gender.

Ok here's a difference. When 20 men were asked what might scare them about women they said they might laugh at them. When 20 women were asked similar about men, the women said they feared the men might kill them.

Is that actually true? Or just an anecdote Gillian Anderson's character quoted at her young lover on The Fall?

Pumpkinpositive it's a fairly meaningless quote. What specific men were the women asked what they'd be scared about? You'd obviously have be scared about different things when talking about a group of 20 serial killers, and 20 men picked at random on the high street.

Burke not all men want to be treated the same as women. Many want to be treated better.

MrsTawdry I know, unfortunately some men want to be treated better, as some women want to be treated better than men. These people aren't interested in equality or feminism but fortunately they are in a very small minority.

Men are fighting to get equality as well

Oh right. What are their specific aims? How are they going about it?

burke I think you'll find very few women who want to be treated better than men. A tiny minority. Due to centuries of oppression, most of us would be very happy with "the same".

Don't try to denigrate the struggle by muddying the waters.

the ones who talk about feminism making them feel "excluded" are the ones who are fighting to maintain their privilege

We both want the same thing, to not be treated differently because of our gender.

Nooooooo, I'm pretty sure most men are quite happy taking jobs they only get because of sexism and accepting higher pay because they are men.

I have never met a man hating feminist, in fact most I have met are married and/or have sons.

And yet not too long ago you couldn't open a thread on the relationships board where a woman talked about her husband without someone saying "He really hates women doesn't he". Apparently a justification that applies in one direction and not the other.

double but if he was displaying behaviour which indicated misogyny then why not say "he really hates women"