AIBU to want to go boo hoo hahaha when men say they feel excluded by the the term "feminist"

[GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman]

Just wondering if anyone else thinks like me...Go.

The thread has moved on...lots of posters have been referring to new points

That was to pan

"they disagree with feminism because it focusses on equal rights for women..."

well quite..men, as a group don't invite, or demand a 'boo-hoo' attitude. They just disagree with feminism and don't wish to be included in the notion at all.

But what do you say to your teenage son who feels unfairly judged by some feminists?

I'd chat with him about the reason some women (not just feminists) feel the way they do. I'd talk to him about how important it is to his own well-being, as well as to women, that he doesn't demean himself to the level of the lowest common denominator, because to do so is detrimental to women and men. I'd tell him to behave like he'd like all men to behave, and set the standard he'd like all other men to live up to, recognising that women's attitudes are often built on a basis of stereotype ('all men think with their dicks' from a recent thread), experience, teaching (keep yourself safe at night, avoid anywhere you could be alone as you might get raped) and subtler socialisation.

I'd tell him to take his dad as a role model.

Rufus, yes thanks of course it's moved a lot (320 posts!) so I haven't battled through it all, you're right.

I think the many women posting on this thread are sufficient examples of women having encountered men saying this.

Lived experience and all that.

Yesterday at work I had to go and pick up a file. On a normal, sunny afternoon I went into an office and waited for the person to show up. While I was waiting I spent a lovely fifteen minutes with a drunk, horny man who wanted to ask me; if I was single; whether I found him attractive. No and no. He didn't take that for answer of course. They never do. He stood over me, breathing I think vodka, asking whether racism was a factor in our dealings. No. While I pretended to work on my phone.

Does this happen to the average man in his 40s while he goes about his day? Because I wasn't shocked or surprised. Not that I'm a supermodel, I just know this happens all the time. And yes, a drunk man who doesn't take no for an answer does worry me. You can argue semantics and talk about equivalency and egalitarianism and equality if you want. I just want to be able to pick up a file.

well, the 'lived experience and all of that' also tells me that 'most men don't give a fig about feminism or equality'. So the proposed 'boo-hoo' thing is a bit redundant. Well, outside of a sliver of the male population. Not being a pessimist there - just a 'lived experience' as a male, mixing with other males.
As I imply, if males feel excluded, then they should 'get with feminism'.

Blistory - implication you are doing it wrong again? Okaaay..off you trot on a comforting whim.

So, in my eyes, the thread goes along these lines -

1. OP When this happens, here's my response, what's yours
2. Many, many posters reply with what their response is to that particular situation
3. You come along and instead of believing everyone, you ask if it actually happens firstly, dismiss it if it happens as being of no relevance and then quote your singular experience as if it's being somehow more representative and of more relevance, all without having RTFT.

The thread didn't have to be a worthy attempt at achieving anything because sometimes feminists just want to talk and share experiences. But there's always a man to tell us we're doing it wrong.

"well, the 'lived experience and all of that' also tells me that 'most men don't give a fig about feminism or equality'. So the proposed 'boo-hoo' thing is a bit redundant. Well, outside of a sliver of the male population. Not being a pessimist there - just a 'lived experience' as a male, mixing with other males.
As I imply, if males feel excluded, then they should 'get with feminism'."

You've got rad mates, mate.

Well not really Blistory - the OP was about the reaction to the term' feminism' from men - then lots of posts about poor male reactions to women's positions and experiences. So your simple 'sum up' is erroneous.
'Doing it wrong/right'? I'm afraid you've manufactured that one - I show no evidence of care about how 'feminism' shows itself here, or where you are 'doing it wrong'. It's your game, not mine.

^Am just wondering has any man really said " I feel excluded by feminism"..or has any woman actually heard any man saying this.
And IF this has happ^

Um yes. Regularly.

Any feminist page that is devoted to female only spaces will be over populated by men who "care just as much" about feminism and don't understand why we are excluding them. You'll also hear it regarding rape/DV/abuse..why don't feminist try and help men too?

It's almost like men expect it to be all about them. It's like showing up to a thread 300 posts in acting like something is ridiculous while pointedly explaining you couldn't be arsed to read the posts that have already answered your question.

And my commiserations Acquired for what is obviously a sensitive subject, having read up.

Well said FuckOffGroundhog

Yes, I usually think they should go and 'fudge' themselves.