To have a messy house, be unorganised, meal plans fail etc and I'm a SAHM

[Totallyuseless31]

I'm a stay at home mum to a toddler and a school age child. I drop dh at work every morning, then DD1 to school then I have basically 9-3 with my toddler. I pick DD1 up from school at 3.30 and DH up from work at 6. I can never get dinner ready for when we come in so DDs get overtired and go to bed late as dinner is late. My house is a tip and could do with a good clean. DH works overtime every weekend as the pay is double and is more than my full time earning power in his 2 days overtime. I do sell a lot of bits and bobs on eBay in the evenings so need to visit the post office most days. I currently do not take DD1 to any toddler groups and this is something I would like to start, as well as having a clean house (it will never be completely tidy lol) and meals that are home cooked and ready for when we come home in the evenings. But I just cannot seem to do this! I do not seem to have the motivation or organisation required. How do I achieve this? Surely 9-3 is enough time to get everything done? Plus I have weekends on my own which I could utilise. I know a full time working mum who runs a better home than me and she is single as well with ex having no access and she has no family help. What am I doing wrong? I need help to become organised!

Start by making a list of cleaning jobs and try and do one a day
e.g. clean the fridge
Dust the living room
Change the bedding
Iron for 30 minutes
Etc

Set aside 30 minutes per week to make a meal plan and shopping list. This will save so much time in the long run.

Plan 7 dinners, slow cooker meals are great or something you can make during the say like, spaghetti or lazagne and heat up. Write a shopping list and stick to it, online shopping might be an option for you.
You can make slow cooker dinners in advance and freeze them like this
hellonatural.co/slow-cooker-freezer-meals/

De cluttering your house makes it easier to keep tidy.

Even if you have 1 productive hour a day you will really notice the difference.
Good luck

Some unpleasant replies on here.

OP - basically you don't have any adult help by the sound of it so must be hard to clean. Could you get cleaners in for big 6 hour clean then just keep up to date? Slow cooker is the way to go with supper.

It's very hard to keep going day after day with domestic nonsense - I feel for you

Hi Op, please don't take this the wrong way. I know when I can't seem to get much done and unmotivated it's always when I am feeling depressed. I'm just giving you an idea but only you will know. It's hard work being a mum and wife. I have before invested in two cleaners at once to come in for the day and get the house back into order, ironing organising everything. Once that's done it is so much more manageable to keep on top of it.

To me it sounds like you're doing a lot but probably not doing it logically so maybe look online for some housework plans that give you a system to use so it becomes a routine?

Also would it be possible to drop your toddler into the grandparents for a day and then do a deep clean? Or maybe do something like the 30 day challenge where you remove 1 piece of clutter on the first and up to 30 on the 30th? I have found that doing a deep clean every 3/4 months makes for much less work for a good while.

Definitely consider the slow cooker it will make your life so much easier. Or if that doesn't work for you then when you cook make a double portion and then freeze the extra - twice the dinners half the cooking time.

And also give yourself a break 2 kids full time and a toddler with a husband who can't help much is exhausting

Toddlers are hard work, I'm pregnant with a toddler and work 20 hour weeks. Don't listen to nasty comments, sometimes when you get stuck in a rut you find it hard to know where to start.

So start with food. Slow cookers are amazing, I throw raw mince, onion, garlic, basil and chopped tomatoes into mine and 6 hours later I have SPAG Bol, or I add kidney beans and chilli seasoning for a chilli.

Frozen pizzas or pies are good accompanied by fresh veg and salads also, I have a few quick meals to save time and sanity when the day seems to vanish before my eyes. You will never get the hang of it if you beat yourself up and berate yourself x

Don't forget that the full time working mum the OP refers too must have her child in full time nursery. Ergo that child is not at home all day every day creating havoc! No wonder her house looks tidy.

A good slow cooker meal that cooks fast if you've left it a bit late:

A couple of chicken breasts chopped, add a jar of pasta sauce. Stick on high for an hour then down to low. Before you go to pick up dh pop in some quick cook macaroni and a jar full of boiling water.

Also works well with a curry sauce and rice instead of pasta sauce and macaroni.

Chicken tonight sauces are good too. I've done the spanish chicken one with new potatoes chopped into small pieces that cook quickly.

OP I have a toddler and school age child and can fully sympathise. The toddler used to wake numberous times a night and I used to have to nap when he did as I was too exhausted otherwise (shouty Mum, tearful, zombie).
Luckily, the toddler now sleeps through. But also no longer has a nap. But as I'm getting more sleep, I feel able to be more productive. It's a vicious cycle, so don't be too hard on yourself. And I think you should continue catching up on sleep with a nap.

I think instead of Internet in the morning, you should meal plan. Just the main meals.

You should try to plan meals which can be eaten cold or reheated easily.

• So poached salmon (just get salmon fillets from supermarket and put them in a pan with the base of pan covered with water), leave on a low heat for about 10 minutes until the change colour. Then switch heat off and then leave in pan until dinner. Boil some new potatoes for 20 minutes. These can then be left in the pan until dinner time. Then put frozen peas in microwave at dinner time - 2 minutes and dinner is ready!

• then you could do a pasta sauce during the day (buzz up some pine nuts, Parmesan, olive oil, basil and garlic for some fresh pesto)

• buy frozen celery, onion and carrot from supermarket (sainsburys do it). Fry off on a low heat for a few minutes, add mince, couple tins of tomatoes and salt and pepper. This can be used for spag Bol. Or add mashed potatoes on top and its cottage pie, or add a touch of mild chilli powder and serve with rice (chilli) or wraps (burrito)

• cook a large chicken during morning or afternoon (or even two as I don't know any magic chickens ) and have a roast mid week. Serve with mash and frozen peas or fresh boiled veg. The next day, pick the chicken and use for something else maybe coronation chicken.

• finally, there's nothing wrong with fish fingers, chicken nuggets eye now and again. It won't be like this forever.

• mash and frozen peas are you're friend! As are chopped sweet pepper and cucumber and tomatoes as that's a salad and is quick!

*your

Op here!! I am touched that anyone wanted to see how I am getting on, thank you! I have improved things by about 50 percent I imagine. I now take the toddler to the post office or another errand like food shopping after the school run, back for a snack then clean up until lunchtime. After lunch I no longer nap! I do ironing and prep evening meal. After the school run it still goes to put though as that is when tiredness creeps in for me. I need that to be girls bath time to lighten the load after dinner for me. That's my next thing to work on, also I still need to work on activities for toddler. But we now have a clean house and home cooked meals! So just the icing on the cake needed now, some fun activities for the kids! I'm getting there I won't let depression beat me. I have noticed I need to keep going because if I let it all go to pot again i feel more tired and depressed.

Oh and I name changed!

My toddler does a preschool playgroup 9-12 5 mornings a week. That gives me plenty of time to get things sorted. Government funded from 3. Can you do something like this?

Sorry just read the first few posts not your recent update. Glad things are a bit better for you now.

Glad things are better OP x

I have a meal planner stuck to my fridge. It covers 4 weeks and I have tried to do it realistically, so days I know will be busy will be an easy meal and days I have more time, something that might take more preparation.

I have a list of things that I know I HAVE to do, otherwise everything starts unravelling. They are:

I do an online shop on the same day every week.

I put a load of washing on and put away clean stuff.

I have a basic tidy up in the morning once dc are at school.

I make sure I get all clothes and school stuff ready for the next day when dc are in bath.

I try and do one particular housework chore each day e.g beds on Monday, bathroom on Tuesday. If I'm having a rough week I do an 'easy clean' which basically involves hoovering the bits people can see and clean the loo and bathroom sink!

I have a To Do list.

What are you like with exercise? I have just started doing exercise again after a long break and it really is helping my mood, and I feel much more energised to get on and do things. I don't have time to go the gym so I downloaded a skipping cardio app which last 20 mins, which I do in my back garden. My eldest does it with me sometimes and loves it!

The other thing I found which really helped me when I was depressed and knackered was treating being a SAHM like a job. I would plan out the week so that every day had a structure. I also found the local YMCA had a really cheap creche so dd could go in there for an hour or two once a week while I did some freelance work on the laptop nearby or do some shopping. That way, it felt like protected time and when I picked DD back up, we spent quality time together, no interruptions. She was happier and I was happier.

Hope things improve :)

First priority, get toddlers sleep pattern sorted, 10 times a night???!
Less time browsing internet & MN. Tea for the children before picking up husband. Prep dinner for you two while the kids are eating.
Write a post it reminder and stick it on the slow cooker to remind to fill it the nxt morning. Go to the post office ? 3x per week instead of daily.
Toddler group/ activity with toddler.
Room by room sorting when toddler does nap

Sorry, I'm late in reading your latest post. Seems like you're on the up & up.
An amazing tip someone gave me recently- pork or lamb joint ( lamb with garlic, rosemary & seasoning) in the slow cooker with NOTHING ELSE on low for ? 10 hours- absolutely delicious. The meat flakes off. Nothing easier