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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD been off school sick today and wants to go to a party this evening

220 replies

Waitingfordolly · 23/01/2015 16:20

Stomach ache (though no sickness or diarrhoea) and generally looking peaky, although she does seem a lot better now. She's 11. I have said no she can't go to the party. She is upstairs in floods of tears saying that everyone else's mum would let them go. AIBU?

OP posts:
ssd · 23/01/2015 16:21

hard one.

RoadRunner123 · 23/01/2015 16:21

Nope, YANBU....no school, no party.

poocatcherchampion · 23/01/2015 16:22

No chance.

ThreeQuartersEmpty · 23/01/2015 16:22

YANBU. same here no school no party.

ShutUpLegs · 23/01/2015 16:22

Ditto.

DevonFolk · 23/01/2015 16:23

No chance!

OwlinaTree · 23/01/2015 16:23

Agree with roadrunner YANBU.

DudeWheresMyDonkey · 23/01/2015 16:23

No school, no party here as well.

pootlebug · 23/01/2015 16:23

No school = no after-school activities (parties, clubs, playdates, whatever) is the rule in this house.

paperlace · 23/01/2015 16:24

Tricky.

As long as you are sure she's not unwell - no fever or vomitting - I think I'd probably let her go but not sure..sorry not much help!

I certainly wouldn't think she should miss the party on principle myself.

manchestermummy · 23/01/2015 16:24

Mine are younger but no, I don't think she should go. Dd1 fabricated being ill once and was sent home from school and then wanted to go to the school summer fair. That was a no!

shovetheholly · 23/01/2015 16:24

YANBU.

If she's too ill to go to school, she's too ill to go to a party (even if she feels a bit better). It's not just about her - it's about not passing what sounds like a virus on to other children.

Also, there is a valuable life lesson in there. She needs to realise that she can't pick and choose when she's ill - if she decides she needs a day off school, that means she can't go to the party in the evening, even if she feels better. It's kind of like not going out to the pub after work when you've had a day off - if someone saw you, can you imagine what they would think?

Finally, what are you going to look like as a parent if you let her go? People will think she's been bunking off and you are colluding with it.

kathryng90 · 23/01/2015 16:25

Same no school no party. Got both mine off school today. One is missing a birthday party tonight and the other a dance show.

tiredvommachine · 23/01/2015 16:25

Agreed. Not well enough for school then not well enough to go to the party. That's how I was parented Smile

JohnCusacksWife · 23/01/2015 16:25

No way. If they're too ill to go to school then they're too ill to go anywhere else.

waithorse · 23/01/2015 16:25

I wouldn't let mine go to a party in these circumstances.

CeliaLytton · 23/01/2015 16:25

YANBU I think that's pretty fair. She may well be feeling better but it's hard luck, these things happen and she'll get over it.

Otoh, had you not already said this, unless she is a serial school refuser then it is likely she was feeling rough, is now feeling better and would be perfectly fine to go, had you not already taken a stand.

Teachers might see it in a bad light though, as would your boss if you called in sick to work and were then seen later that evening dancing on a table in the pub Grin

PrimalLass · 23/01/2015 16:25

I would. It's Friday

Cocolepew · 23/01/2015 16:26

No here too.

Original poster
Waitingfordolly · 23/01/2015 16:26

Thanks. There's a little bit of principle involved, other reasons are she is tired and I think needs to rest (full day of dancing tomorrow) otherwise she will exhaust herself, and also on the off chance that she is still infectious (other people have had bug - we just tend not to actually be sick with anything) then I don't want her passing it around.

OP posts:
PhoebeMcPeePee · 23/01/2015 16:26

No school no party & if it were my child's party, I'd be pretty pissed off if I found out a child ill enough to be off school was sent to spend an evening in close confines were all her friends (& IME girls do like to attach themselves to each other so keeping a distance isn't an option Grin )

Patchworkpatty · 23/01/2015 16:27

is she well now ? if so then why can't she go ? I had stomach ache this morning but feel tips top now a d will go out for dinner tonight. unless you think she is faking being well, the only reason to not let her go is to be mean !!

DidoTheDodo · 23/01/2015 16:28

I'm a no too.

00100001 · 23/01/2015 16:28

if you're off sick from school/work during the day, all evening activities are cancelled no matter what!

Original poster
Waitingfordolly · 23/01/2015 16:28

Yes Celia I told her that we once sacked someone for phoning in sick to work and then going clubbing in the evening (plus a few more misdemeanors). Her response, "Well I can't get sacked from school"! Also worried about other parents seeing it in a bad light, but maybe I'm being over-sensitive!

OP posts: