DD been off school sick today and wants to go to a party this evening

[Waitingfordolly]

Stomach ache (though no sickness or diarrhoea) and generally looking peaky, although she does seem a lot better now. She's 11. I have said no she can't go to the party. She is upstairs in floods of tears saying that everyone else's mum would let them go. AIBU?

I often get stomach aches which go after a while and i'm not ill.

If I called in sick from my hypothetical job and felt better after a few hours I would still go out in the evening.

Maybe not to an office party due to being scared of being sacked.

If she was genuinely ill and now genuinely better I see no reason to keep her at home. Many people feel bad for a while then after a rest feel better. It's the same for children.

So anyway, glad this didn't turn into one of those threads where everyone says YABU and I say well I'm going to ignore everyone and do what I originally intended!

Well if you think she's infections then why is she going to dancing tomorrow?

I'm not saying your wrong to keep her home.and if she's tired it's probably best but given she hasn't been sick I see no difference between tonight and tomorrow in terms of transmission.

Nope. Especially as she has a busy day tomorrow.

Early night with a hot water bottle.

mean mum

Normally I'd definitely say no, BUT if it is a close friends birthday/whatever then I would let her go, but only because my best friend missed my birthday party when we were 12 coz her mum was a psychotic bitch who probably eats live puppies... Yep she's that strange completely unreasonable, best friend had no temp/fever/runs/sickness at time of party starting and it was probably indigestion (the next day I remember she was gassy lol) have a heart OP! In sure you pulled sickies when you were young lol

Yeah good point Giles it's probably irrational! I won't send her to dancing if she still seems ropey - I think I'm more worried about what people will say about her being infectious rather than the actual risk of transmission

I'm in the 'no school then no party' (or activity) camp too.
tbfair - I apply the same rule to myself too

I'm with those who said no school, no party.

On the flip side though waiting

I think.its important to not just do things because of what everyone else would think.

I'm not talking about flouting 48 hr rules or anything like that, more just that speaking from experiences with my health, sometimes going out does you good and to not go because someone might think you have faked it when you just wanted out the house isn't great tbh.

I often feel nauseaus or get stomach pain if I havent eaten or I'm really tired or I just need the bathroom and haven't had a chance to go.

I wouldn't go out infectious from a bug but at The same time you can't sit around in the house or miss out on things because you just needed a rest and a hot bath.

It's finding the line though really I guess.

I'm with no school no party brigade plus not all the kids at the party will be fine with it and they are bound to tell others. Some of them simply won't believe she was ill and start 'skiver' name calling. Perhaps she should use this evening to catch up on the work she missed at school today!

I'd be torn - I am a random vomiter and have always been one to throw up for no reason, which meant that I would end up missing school (even when I would have been totally happy to go - my mum wouldn't send me in if I'd thrown up in the morning). However, if I made it through the rest of the day without any symptoms, then I would have been allowed to go out in the evening (and my mum was pretty strict).
I can see myself having to play it by ear with my son too, as he takes after me and is already starting to get frustrated about missing out on things just because he has thrown up (and it's pretty easy to tell the difference between being ill and just having a stray sick moment with him, as it was with me).
You know your daughter best and you have made a decision, so I think you should stick with it, but I don't think a hard and fast rule is always appropriate.

Couldn't care a flying fuck what other parents think!

It's your judgment op. If she's better let her go.

Let her dance tomorrow and if she's rough after she's got Sunday to rest and get over it.

I would let her go really.

Unless she has form

Obviously the 48 hour rule should be applied for infectious sickness.

My bil used to vomit when he was excited/nervous. No infection.

He's 56 now. Still does. Daft sod!

Same rules here too. Too ill for school means not able to go out socialising or doing activities that day, including the evening.

If I phoned in work to be off sick for a day then I wouldn't be going out in the evening either. So, same rules for the adults in our house too. Can you imagine being seen by colleagues or clients?

Only time I bend the rule for me is if it is long term absence due to a medical reason, where I am okay to start going out and about (convalesence time) but not yet read for work - I'm thinking of after an op, or after I was trying to build myself back up after a nasty dose of pneumonia.

Only time I've bent the rules for DD was when she used to get nasty period pains when she'd recently started and wasn't yet able to manage the pain fully and everything else that went with it, and the the time was when she was off with a broken foot and it was school who stopped her going in (hospital wouldn't put it in plaster but it kept getting knocked at school) but I did let her go out that evening for a quiet activity with friends.

Well we've made some progress, she seems resigned with not going and instead is getting her kicks from telling me that I'm horrible and she hates me! The wonderful satisfaction of parenting....

Did you tell her this morning that she would not be attend the party if she didn't go to school?

Yep I did tell her no school no party (or dance, which she was supposed to be doing inbetween) and she was fine with it then - surprisingly!

I would let her go if she's well enough.

She probably thought you'd cave and let her.

The way she's behaving now would seal the deal and ensure the loss of her phone for the evening.

Yanbu to I'll for school to I'll to go out.

But is she felt Bad this morning she wouldn't have wanted to go?

Now she feels better she does!

If you think she was swinging the led then fine but if you think she was truthful and is how better why wouldn't you let her go?

You know her best op

I do sometimes cave - or rather I reconsider based on the facts! To be fair to her she's not really being petulant, she's half joking but still. I think I'll have a long peaceful bath after dinner (at least I don't have to go out in the cold to run her about!)