To think donating someone's organs without their consent is a serious ethical issue..

[BabyX]

I'm referring to the news today that a newborn baby's organs have been donated after doctors diagnosed her, at birth, as brain-dead. Her parents have been able to give the chance of life to others, I see that. The recipients and their families must be incredibly relieved and grateful. Hopefully that will comfort the parents of the baby, who is now, of course, dead. Organs can only be taken while the donor is still alive.

But AIBU to think you cannot just decide to give away the organs of another human being without their consent? Is it our choice to make?

I'm not sure if I am unreasonable to think this or not. I may just be clouded by sadness at the death of this poor baby who never got a chance at life. It's heartbreaking. Had my child not survived her birth, the thought of carving her up for parts is horrifying.

I do not mean to be disrespectful, I'm just struggling to concur with the general reaction that this is a wonderful "selfless" act.

My first baby was stillborn at 42 weeks gestation. I did ask if her organs could be used but it wasn't possible, probably because at that point we had no cause of death (we still didnt after a post mortem). My second child got leukaemia at 4 (she's 8 now) and although in remission its not guaranteed that she won't need a bone marrow transplant in the future. I'm on both the bone marrow and organ register and like another poster said earlier, would prefer an opt out system.

Massive love and flowers to all the brave parents and their generosity

I truly think op was ill thought out through niaivity than malice but understandably it's a fraught topic

Forgot so any of you have suffered so much

Just to say this thread has made me weep . For all of you , bless you so so much . Can't word it but sending love to your lost ones xxxxx

I hope that when I pass somethinh of mine can go on to save someone else. I won't need my organs anymore, it doesn't matter, I won't feel the loss but someone else will feel the gain - that's the way to think of it OP

I repeat.

Ds had a kidney transplant 1 week ago.
I still cannot say with absolute conviction that I'd be able to consent to one of my children being used as a donor.
I should be able to, but I simply can't.
Ds has read this thread and said he would only ever wish to have received an organ if the family were happy to do so. He says he would hate to think his happiness and recovery would cause a bereaved family to suffer even more.

I don't understand why people can't empathise here.
I really do not.

Ledkr - it sounds to me as if you haven't made a concrete decision that you could never consent to your child being an organ donor - that if you were in that awful situation, you would be willing to consider the concept - I think that is all anyone should ask of you.

Most of us have never been in that terrible situation (and my heart bleeds for those on this thread who have had to go through it), and I don't think any of us can say for sure how we'd feel, if we were.

I am very pro-organ donation - I would be happy to be a donor myself, and am proud of my dad for having been a donor. I am more proud of my mum who, despite her own personal feelings about it (she does not like the idea of one of her loved ones being a donor - I don't know whether she would be a donor herself - but given her age, I doubt she could anyway), agreed to donate dad's corneas, because she knew that was his wish.

I have no doubt that it was a hard decision for her, especially as his death was so sudden (his heart failed and he died in front of her at home, despite the best efforts of neighbours and paramedics), and I would never condemn anyone who, in a similar position, could not agree to donation.

I'd like to think that, if it were one of the so dses, I would agree to donation - but maybe, when it came to it, I would find it too hard - I honestly don't know.

Ledkr

I would never ever ever ever judge anyone that could not consent to it. Grief is a terrible beast and it affects people differently .

Pleased about your son . And hide this thread and focus on your family xxxx

I am [shock[ at some of the attitudes displayed on this thread towards bereaved parents. Some of the attitudes displayed on this thread from those who are "pro" donation are far far worse than anything the op said. And saying that you absolutely would donate your child's organs is a bit like saying "it'll never happen to me," you cannot possibly know.

In truth most people tick the box or fill in the donor register without a second thought. Because in truth while we might sit here and say "well I could die in x/y accident tomorrow," none of us really anticipates that happening. People tick a box in the knowledge that it's highly unlikely they will ever actually have to follow through with their intentions. Except sometimes it does happen.

But be careful of pre-conceived ideas because they have a habbit of jumping up and biting you when you least expect. How many people have had pre-conceived ideas about trivial things... "oh my child won't have a dummy/will be sleeping through from day1/I know I will never lose my temper with him," and when the reality hits it's all so different. So if your thinking can be wrong on something as trivial as how you will react to a child which is a joyous event in your life, how can you possibly know for certain how you would feel/react if faced with the most tragic event such as the death of a child? You can't possibly know.

And no, we don't live in a give to receive nhs. There is no guarantee that there will be one organ less or that someone will die because you aren't prepared to go on to the donor register. You could be on the donor register and your organs may never be required. yet people seem to be reacting as if not going on to the register means that people are dying. no, the reason people are dying is because not enough donors are dying in order for them to receive organs.

All those who are self-righteously posting about how selfish people are for not donating the organs of their dead children, have you ever considered live donation? you know, you could donate a kidney and a lobe of your liver - you don't need them after all. Perhaps people should be considered selfish for not doing that? no? thought not.

Yes I agree wannabe. People say that unequivocally they will donate their child's organs because they never expect to actually have to do it. And equally people feel able to say it's 'yukky' because they never expect to be in a position where they have to wait for another child to die to save their own.

Re the OP - From a personal pov I'm pleased that the medical profession is moving towards newborn transplants. I don't believe there is an ethical dilemma - parents have always consented for their child for both simple and complex procedures. I don't see this as any different; otherwise it would end donation of any young child's organs as it would be impossible to obtain informed consent. Is the OP effectively saying I can consent to my 4 month old receiving an organ but not to her donating?

Well said wannabe

Well said Mrs dv

Well stated, Wannabe.

Wannabe, I totally agree with people who do not want to donate their child's organs, that is fine and should be their choice, but what I do disagree with, is the op and what she is saying. It's ridiculous! In this situation, the parents did consent on behalf of their child that their organs should be donated, they were not taken forcibly without consent. Obviously, the baby cannot due to its age give consent, or is in a position to, so it falls to the parents to decide what is best. No we don't know what we would do in that situation if faced with the death of a child, I do not criticise anyone for their decision not to donate, but I hope that if it did happen, I would donate my child's organs.