When you don't want to give money towards a honeymoon? (wedding related)

[chicaguapa]

I know there are loads of thread about this already but is it now considered (by the MN jury) to be selfish to buy a gift when the b&g have specifically asked for money towards their honeymoon?

My sis is getting married in the spring and I have received a cash poem on the invitation. We're not close so I've no idea where they're planning on going for their honeymoon or why they can't afford one.

I hate giving money as presents and particularly don't want to for a holiday unless it's an improving one. But should it matter where they're going? Where is the line between the wishes of the giver and the recipient?

Don't joke limited, my friend had a divorce party. She didn't ask for gifts but it was implied that we should all chip in for her drinks.

Another vote for giving cash, so easy. "Yes we are coming to the wedding, do you want a present or cash?"

Standard reply to all weddings I've been to in the the last 5 years all weddings I've ever been to "The cash would be great"

That'll do nicely.

Laughing - this is going OT really but buying presents to other people's tastes is SO hard, it really makes me paranoid when buying for others, as I feel so confused & awkward when it happens to me.

MIL always gets me gifts that are along the same 'theme' and whilst it may be closer to my taste it's nothing like the combined style of DH and I together in our house - she really has no clue about his taste and he is her son! So I get all these pretty floral ornaments and girly things DH doesn't really want out on display and which doesn't suit our other stuff. But people must think they really know my taste, as MIL bought me a vase one year and the next year my gran bought me the exact same one!

I LOVE cash wedding gifts.

Nice and easy and nothing goes to waste because you know the recipients will get something they want.

marshmallowpies It is, I would not have a clue at all either even for close friends it is usually a bottle and a cake for birthdays and money and a bottle for weddings.

Maybe gran brought it because your MIL did? So she thought it was your taste? Maybe your DH needs to hint for you :)

We had this request and I ignored it and bought a lovely book

Was it an Argos catalogue mrsmootoo?

Laughing my gran hadn't seen the other vase, she had no idea. In theory they could work nicely as a pair but I haven't yet dared bring both out & see if MIL notices!

Oh no!Could you give nan MILs s a gift and vice versa? Since they like it?

I'd say just give them a card & sum of cash you can afford.

Don't be resentful.
I'd much prefer giving the B&G cash if that's what they're asking for...rather than an unwanted gift.

I don't see anything wrong or grabby about them making their wishes clear...makes my life more straightforward in terms of present buying.

However, if you're not close at all, why are you even going to the wedding?

On a side note, what is all this pearl clutching about couples asking for cash as a wedding gift (cheesy poem aside!)?!

I'd rather just buy what they want, not what I think they should be wanting!

LOL at the professionally offended brigade!!

I think some people make it their duty to have a go at everything about other people's weddings!

OP you keep saying that you will ask her what does she want.

She has said what she wants.

Do you need attention and your sister's time and to be about you and your bloody present. And 100s 'thank you' etc?

If you can afford it then give dhat she wants (she wants cash) and give it with no much noise and drums. Just like the rest of the guests.

If you cant afford it thats a different story.

Ever since I've been old enough to receive my own wedding invitations (as opposed to being a tag-on to my parents') they've had wedding gift lists in.
If there wasn't some kind of inkling as to what gifts were wanted, I'd be phoning them to find out - but I'd be pissed off that I was having to phone, I like to have the info up front.

I have friends from a wide walk of life, and have never come across the attitudes on these threads in RL - everyone I know has had a gift list, or a money request, and no one I know has turned up their noses about it. I don't know everyone of course, who does? But with friends from all walks of life, meaning they're not just one "social class" or type of person, you'd think I might have seen it in RL before.

I like weddings and am always pleased to receive an invitation, I don't look for reasons to be offended.

OP why don't you offer to buy her something honeymoon-related, if you don't want to give actual cash?

for example, a day trip / riding a camel / spa treatment / snorkelling trip / champagne on arrival (whatever is available where they are going). That way you have bought something special.

for example, a day trip / riding a camel / spa treatment / snorkelling trip / champagne on arrival (whatever is available where they are going). That way you have bought something special

But why would you do that?

The first one - I prefer to organise my own days out.

The next three - I can't think of anything worse, particularly if it was snorkelling in Venice.

The last one - many people don't drink alcohol. I do and am very particular about it, so someone's choice may not be mine.

You don't like her much, do you, OP?