To remove/not remove my child's fingers

[24digits]

My DS was born earlier this year. He's absolutely perfect and is a healthy, happy little baby. He was born with an extra digit on each hand and foot so has 12 fingers and 12 toes. His fingers are perfectly formed with joints and nails. His toes, although they look a little more unusual, are also perfectly formed but do make his feet wider.

Upon leaving hospital we were given follow up appointments with a plastic surgeon to discuss our future options, except when we got there it seemed less like a question and answer session, but more like a discussion on when we will surgically remove DS's extra digits. We left, making it clear we hadn't yet made a decision, but we're told that it was better for DS to have any operation before age 2.

DH and I are completely torn on whether we put our perfectly healthy little boy through two painful operations to remove extra digits. Please can you give me your most honest, unvarnished opinions on what you would do because I really need to feel like we have considered everything before we make a decision.

At the moment we are considering letting DS have the operation to remove his toes so that he will be able to wear shoes, but everyone seems to be certain that my DS will be bullied if his extra fingers aren't removed. Am I subjecting my DS to a life of bullying if we don't go ahead with the operation?

Like you said OP, he's absolutely perfect. For what it's worth, I wouldn't remove either toes or fingers if he were mine. The only circumstances I (or my OH, who was wondering what I was reading) would Ever even consider it, as it is a GA surgery, would be if there were future, clear problems walking or using his hands after looking at X-rays, or as he got older.

(As far as bullying goes - bullies never need reasons, and any hint of bullying should be stamped on hard by a good school anyway)

I would do the feet to make shoes more comfortable but leaves the hands for him to decide in later life. He may not want visible scars on this hands and people are less likely to notice extra digits. I never noticed a friend was missing a digit for years!

I know you've had a lot of replies OP, and I'm probably not saying anything new. But I just wanted to say that I don't think I would have anything operated on. That picture of your baby's hand is incredible, and if it's fully functioning, will actually give an advantage rather than a disadvantage.

Most of the examples on this thread are of conditions that are disabling, or extra digits or growths that are unusable or useless. Your baby's case is exactly the opposite - something which is functioning perfectly and actually gives a potential advantage! And I can't help thinking that surgery might actually cause more problems than it solves.

And finally the playground bullies argument is a total non starter. As has been mentioned bullies will target anything they can, if it's not one thing it will be something else. What is important is that your child is confident and happy enough to ignore any potential bullying, and know they are loved.

de·for·mi·ty - a condition in which part of the body does not have the normal or expected shape

I don't want to labour the point because it's not helpful to the OP's situation, but you would not expect someone to have six fingers.

You think the OP should remove her child's fingers to avoid surprising people??

But the OP's baby's hand does have the normal/expected shape, it just has another finger. Hasn't affected the shape as such, so not "deformed".

"but you would not expect someone to have six fingers."

No, but I wouldn't immediately think of them as "deformed", either. As per the photos above of all the various people with six fingered hands, they generally just looked like regular hands - it took me a while in all cases to notice the extra finger. Their hand is still basically hand-shaped, it's not like the extra finger is a useless nub or their hand is like a claw.

I'd go for the removal. There is no benefit to having the extra fingers but a lot of downsides.
To keep them for the sake of not conforming would be unfair IMHO.
You would not be making a statement about him not being perfect already, you'd just be making his life a lot lot easier.

And it most likely will affect his day to day life - gloves will need to be specially made, a lot of handles will be the wrong shape/size etc.

Did you see the picture of the child's hand, though, HairyOrk - it looks like the extra finger is an extra fully functional ring finger? It doesn't look like something you could just easily lop off and get an entirely "normal"-looking hand.

Don't most people pick up things with handles with their first few fingers anyway? I'm actually getting a bit baffled by the "you must remove this entirely functional feeling body part with bones and nerve endings because DON'T YOU WANT TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR HIM TO BUY GLOVES/HE WILL NEVER BE A FIREMAN BECAUSE MAKING SPECIAL FIREMAN GLOVES IS ILLEGAL" going on.

I presume nobody is arguing that the OP should choose not to operate just so her child can be non-conforming ("why not add a few more on! why not add an extra nose!"), just that there doesn't seem to be anything obviously wrong with the setup he has. It would be different if it was going to actually impede his functionality but it doesn't seem( from the web accounts and the one person I vaguely know with twelve fingers) that polydactyly with a fully functioning finger impedes anything much at all - except, as frequently mentioned above, glove purchase.

I'm not sure what I would do in this situation, but I think that gloves being a non-issue is a matter of perspective. I've recently graduated from a science based degree, and work in a lab, and I wear latex gloves all the time. Of course you would hope adjustments could be made, but I'm not sure how easy it would be to get specially made latex gloves and it could end up becoming something that makes him feel uncomfortable.

Equally, I'm a horse rider, and most riders wear gloves. If he ever wanted to learn to ride, holding the reins would be different for him and it might be something he would struggle with a bit more than usual. Of course he would still be able to ride, but it might be harder to learn.

Yes, having extra fingers might be a benefit in some situations, but they might also end up impeding manual dexterity, if they are nearly but not quite fully functional. Using a pen, doing up buttons and using cutlery could all be harder. I'm not convinced typing would be easier either.

I'm not completely pro-removal of any of the digits, but I do think if you are going to remove toes because of the difficulty of finding shoes, I think you have to consider the potential difficulties he might face having extra fingers.

I agree with whoever said, whatever decision you make will be the right one, because I am sure he will adapt and cope with whatever the outcome.

"if they are nearly but not quite fully functional"

If they're not fully functional, obviously that's a different issue. However, it's entirely possible (see the Brazilian family) that they are fully functional, in which case I can't see any clear case for removing them.

I've been actually examining how I lift/hold/manipulate things today as a result of this discussion, and I can't see that many things that would be impeded by more (fully functional) fingers - it'd just be like having slightly wider hands. As I said above, you only use your first couple of fingers to, eg, pick up a tea cup, so how many others there are wouldn't really be relevant. Ditto doing up buttons, etc.

Also IN YOUR FACE, LISZT AND YOUR STUPID REALLY WIDE CHORDS FOR REALLY STRETCHY HANDS.

I think that some of the Brazilian family have some deformities actually, part formed or deformed on several of them, but the whole family have the same, so clearly as a group they have no complexes
Having seen the photo of tiny babies hand tho, I would say that removing pinkie would not be aesthetically correct either, so better to leave it for now & see if the pinkie grows in harmony with the rest,
also leave the feet, if the little toe is "normal" I agree it could affect balance, but surely a good surgeon would consider these things. (how he could just assume it was happening without X-rays is frankly frightening

leedy I was also thinking of stretchy hands and wide chords when I said that removing the smallest finger would risk reducing dexterity. If the pinkie is gone, it would be harder to do the wide chords as they require a larger handspan.

slow Good point about gloves for various activities such as riding, etc. However, I think it would be easier to get specially made gloves (or to somehow adapt standard gloves) than it would be to get specially made footwear. As we have seen, Amazon sell six-fingered gloves, they just have to change the page and the description. Also, there are many activities and professions can be done without gloves, whereas there are almost no activities that are done without footwear.

OP I feel very sorry for the decision you have to make. I agree with some posters up thread that you need to take your time and wait until your DS is a little older. His hand will change shape and grow dramatically in the next year.

For what it's worth, I think his hand looks beautifully proportioned as it is and I don't think I would change it. The video of the American lad who had had the surgery looked, to me, stranger than if it had been left alone.

I asked my DS what he would think if he noticed one of his friends had extra fingers. He thought it was seriously cool, like a super-hero. He's 6.

Also, I was reading a Natural History kids book to him the other day. There was a chapter about why people from countries look different from each other. (I was a bit shocked that the book pointed it out to be honest, but that's a topic for a whole other thread!). DS told me that he didn't know what it meant. One of the examples was that Chinese people look different from European people because of their eye shapes. I asked him whether he'd ever noticed that our Chinese friends, who he sees very regularly, looks different. He looked at me completely blankly and said he didn't have a clue what I was talking about. Sometimes kids just don't notice differences.

I don't know much about older children, but I do know that they will find things to bully the most innocuous looking child for... it doesn't matter how they look. If you bring your DS up with the confidence to deal with any comments, he will be fine. If it ever became and issue you could teach him a selection of phrases about 5 fingers being inadequate, being a super-hero, how much better he will be at certain things etc.

Whatever happens, you will have made your decision for good reasons and I hope you come to a decision without too much heartache.

I do not envy your desicion,it's a very difficult one.
but,i think I would leave them.

You can have 6 fingered gloves made,you can have extra wide shoes made.
There are loads of fantastic WAHMS and other crafters (I can even point you in the direction of a few if you'd like.)

Are there lots of good reasons why you couldn't cut a different finger off two pairs of latex gloves, and just layer them?

Although I have to say that not being able to wear latex gloves wouldn't change my life in any way whatsoever, I notice a lot of posters worrying about this.

Since 24's baby has functional fingers & toes, removal means amputation. Quadruple amputation. Most spare digits are bundles of skin & nerves, sometimes with a nail. They can be tied off, much like a skin tag. With bones and muscles, these are fully working digits that will have to be amputated and the joints re-aligned. It seems a very big deal for the sake of what some people might think.

Obviously, 24 & DH might get more information with further examination, which might alter the balance. Meanwhile, 24, I'm sure you're enjoying your baby and hope you're getting some sleep!

Are there lots of good reasons why you couldn't cut a different finger off two pairs of latex gloves, and just layer them?

Non-continuity of protection. A substance can leak through the top layer then leak through the bottom layer. But it could be worked around, I'm sure.

Plus, given that an employer will HAVE to provide i.e. pay, any glove manufacturer will be falling over themselves to provide at a price It just needs a batch run with a different mould.

' an employer will HAVE to provide [gloves]' or more likely just not hire him.

I am actually quite shocked that people would so lightly consider a general anaesthetic and surgery for an infant largely on the basis that it will be hard to find gloves that fit and that some children are mean.

Waily I think that's simplifying things. It's factors that a parent in that position will consider and if it impacts on quality of life then it's a valid consideration. I feel like I have said those words a million times on this thread lol!

Gloves, employment issues etc have crossed my mind in making my decision. I haven't done it lightly and have considered keeping my daughters hand as it is. It's beautiful too.

The gloves thing is ridiculous. Have none of you ever attended a craft fair? You think someone who can hand knit 5 fingered gloves couldn't add another?

Re equestrian issues I can't see how this would make the slightest difference to holding the reins. And again given how much it costs to keep a horse the cost of commissioning a saddler/glover or other leather worker to make a pair really isn't an issue.

My DD's a horse rider. No problem holding the reins, would just be one extra finger below, and easy enough to adapt riding gloves.

Hello,

I haven't read all the posts so I'm not sure whether you've come to any conclusions (I will read I a mo)

But I just wanted to share. My DS was also born with extra fingers and toes. We chose to have the plastic surgery as we felt it would be the best option for DS long term.

He had the operation the day before his first birthday. The operation was long (3 hours in total) and it was very scary, but he came out if it none the wiser.

DS had casts from his hands to his armpits and from his toes to his groin on his right side and a bandaged hand in the other.

He'd just started cruising and I worried that it would set him back. But within a day or so he was crawling and cruising just has he had before.

The worst bit about it was the looks afterwards, one lady in the hospital canteen had asked me if he'd been burnt and that really upset me. I wasn't prepared for the looks, I didn't mind people asking but the stares made me feel as though we'd done something wrong.

DS is now 6.5 and has ever had any issues. He has neat little scars and we've talked about why he has them.

It's a very personal decision but I know without any doubt we made the right one for us.

Good luck with your decision.