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To tell my friend I don't want to look after her DC's anymore

790 replies

evmil · 12/01/2015 13:51

I have a friend who has a full time job and quite unreliable childcare (she has aupairs but has quite a high turnover of them). She has three boys, one the same age as my DS(4) and two school age (7 and 10) and when her normal childcare falls through she asks me. Her aupair left just after christmas so since the start of term i have had her kids before school and after school Monday thru to Friday.

I looked after her kids for her yesterday as she said she needed to catch up on work. They were supposed to be here from 9 until 12ish but didn't leave until quarter past 7 last night. I was annoyed as I was supposed to be taking DSS3 somewhere but couldn't and he had to get a cab in the end and was late (DH is away so couldn't take him - i did tell her this).

Anyway, i got a text last night at about half 8 from said friend telling me she wasn't happy. I had apparently filled her kids up with junk food (we make milkshakes and biscuits and they got to try some and i sent some home with them), hadn't given them a proper dinner, they had jacket potatoes, which meant they were going to bed hungry, and I had let them play with the nerf guns and they had a go on the x-box (none of which she was happy with). She finished the text with 'i thought i could trust you to look after my boys'

I was really upset but just replied with 'perhaps it is best then if you get someone else to look after them', she didn't reply but i assumed this meant i wouldn't be having her kid anymore, but at quarter past 7 this morning she turned up at my house with them and said I'm not happy about yesterday but I am willing to give you another chance!! I didn't say anything as i didn't want to upset the boys but seriously!!

Like I said I enjoy having her kids and i know she is stuck for childcare but she doesn't pay me and i feel really under appreciated (i don't expect money, a thank you would be nice though!)

WIBU to tell her i don't want to look after her kids again because of her behaviour?

OP posts:
Hissy · 12/01/2015 14:35

I bet she turns up in the morning. That sort always do.

I agree

Roseformeplease · 12/01/2015 14:35

Anyone else not surprised at the high turnover of au pairs? If that is how she treats her "friends" then her attitude to "staff" must be appalling.

pictish · 12/01/2015 14:35

If she comes back all pleady and sorry, just tell her you've been thinking about knocking it on the head recently already and her complaint just solidified your decision. But you appreciate the apology anyway.

She is a cheeky caaah. She has either lost sight of what it is you actually do for her and takes it for granted, or she's just an out and out user.

You have dine enough. Stop now.

pictish · 12/01/2015 14:36

*done

Groovee · 12/01/2015 14:36

You have to let us know her response x

StackladysMorphicResonator · 12/01/2015 14:36

Hurrah, well done OP! Agree with PP that you need to come up with a good comeback for the guilt trip that you'll obviously get - what will you do if she plays the whole "I'm relying on you, what will I do, boo hoo" card?

pictish · 12/01/2015 14:37

"What will I do?"
"I don't know...but I'm out of the equation now."

EamesIsMyHomeboy · 12/01/2015 14:38

My chin is touching the floor with the cheek of this woman!

expatinscotland · 12/01/2015 14:40

pictish is spot on.

molyholy · 12/01/2015 14:40

I can't believe somebody would treat a 'friend' like this!! She is a cheeky, ungrateful, selfish cow and you need to tell her to fuck right off!!!

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 12/01/2015 14:41

oh yes, she'll certainly try to make it your responsibility. You'll need to practice what you're going to say.

SnotandBothered · 12/01/2015 14:42

Yes she will definitely try and guilt you into reversing your decision. And she will do a good job because in her head, as with many super-entitled fuckers, she genuinely will believe YOU are being unreasonable.

Stand firm OP

Her: What am I supposed to do?
You: Pay for childcare like everyone else.

The end.

SnotandBothered · 12/01/2015 14:43

Oh and MrsHathaway - sadly not £10 per child.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 14:43

I would tell her face to face that you don't want to look after them anymore, cheeky mare. No wonder she has a high turn over of au pairs.

Royalsighness · 12/01/2015 14:44

She needs a SLAP!

benfoldsfive · 12/01/2015 14:45

Do people like this really exsist?

Shock

Don't answer the door tomorrow. Tell her you where out at maccy ds getting breakfast...

QueenofallIsee · 12/01/2015 14:46

Good lord OP, this woman is the worst I have ever heard of on here - that is saying something considering the entitled Mexican House Thief of Mumsnet legend. Good for you for telling the cheeky madam that you will not continue - I am aghast at her breathtaking nerve

rubyflipper · 12/01/2015 14:48

Cheeky mare!

Stand firm when she tries to persuade you to keep looking after her children FOR FREE.

thetroubleis · 12/01/2015 14:50

My NDN has been taken advantage of like this and has ended up providing free regular childcare to two truly uncontrollable children who upset her DD every morning without fail before school.

She, like you, wanted to help her friend out. You do right stopping it!

Muchtoomuchtodo · 12/01/2015 14:50

Good grief! I cannot believe how rude and entitled some people can be Shock

Your text was good but I agree that you'll need to have some ideas ready for when she pleads you to have them again.

As for turning up unannounced at 7.15 - I wouldn't be out of bed by then so wouldn't be opening the door!

HazleNutt · 12/01/2015 14:52

Oh yes, she will come back with 'But what will I do?'

You really have to remember that it is not your problem. Her child care is not your responsibility to sort out. You have done way more than an average friend would, and she has been an ungrateful cow.

Utkatasana · 12/01/2015 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeitherHereOrThere · 12/01/2015 14:55

Is she related to Liftzilla?

Due2015 · 12/01/2015 14:56

I hope you stay firm with her, I bet she will try and guilt trip you

GlitzAndGigglesx · 12/01/2015 14:58

The cheeky bitch!! Who does she think she is coming to home and speaking down in you like that?! And you're looking after THREE extra kids unpaid. No way it needs to stop tell her to fuck off she can pay for cc just like everyone else has to

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