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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just need some perspective

481 replies

babynamechange · 11/01/2015 23:25

There's a huge backstory to this...but basically I'm asking the question so Im sure I'm not overreacting before I do anything...
To cut a very long story short I have had concerns about my DS having contact with his father due inappropriate touching and emotional abuse etc. DS is currently being seen by a SW about this. It has been a huge struggle to actually get someone to listen, but someone is now seeing him, although i don't know when he will be spoken to again.

DS has just come in to tell me he wants to tell me something but doesn't want to say it. Anyway he said his dad has been taking photos of him while he's on the toilet (he doesn't normally take photos generally). DS said he really didn't like this. I know he would have been really upset as he doesn't like anyone even in the vicinity when he's doing a poo. He's six.

I know or rather I think I must be asking the blatantly obvious, but is this in any world ok :( x

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 07/02/2015 21:58

Fantastic, hope he opens up more about what his dad does to him. I am sure she will do all she can for ds. This not engaging with SW is probably raising ss red flags.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/02/2015 08:24

Are you allowed to tell ds to tell SW about everything his dad is doing to him, when she comes next week. That he can open up to her as SW (insert her name) can help him.

Original poster
babynamechange · 08/02/2015 14:29

Aero she already has enough for then to be concerned about contact. She's been seeing him for a while. This week is about finding out properly whether DS actually wants to see his dad. DS is adamant he doesn't want to see him at all x

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 08/02/2015 14:37

Fantastic baby, they would not stop contact unless they were concerned for ds safety and well being. I bet I know what the answer will be Smile. Your luck is Turning for the better, about time too. I am glad ds is finally being listened to. I honestly don't think g will be involved now.

rumbleinthrjungle · 09/02/2015 01:10

Just caught up.

Bloody hell.

I hope SW does her job well and that ex continues to hang himself with the miles of rope everyone keeps handing him. So sorry for the ongoing stress Baby.

Original poster
babynamechange · 09/02/2015 09:50

Thanks rumble
Me too xx

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 09/02/2015 16:37

Hope you had a super weekend.

Fingers crossed for more positive steps this week x

Aeroflotgirl · 09/02/2015 19:46

Sending positive vibes, you both deserve it after the hell you have been through. The thing is, SS would not suspend contact for nothing, they may well have their concerns or evidence that your ds is not safe with him. Him not engaging with them, is a big red flag, like he has something to hide. When is ds seeing the SW.

Aeroflotgirl · 11/02/2015 08:46

When is ds seeing his sw, has she said how long contact suspended for?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/02/2015 15:53

How did SW meeting go for ds?

Beautifulbabyboy · 17/02/2015 20:34

Any news baby?

Ohfourfoxache · 18/02/2015 14:10

How are you both doing? X

Original poster
Babynamechange · 18/02/2015 19:33

Ah thank you Flowers
Basically DS's dad has now decided to engage and the SW is going to see him tomorrow. I am anxious as I know how manipulative he can be but hopefully she will see through that. Then she's speaking to DS on Friday to see how he feels about contact and I guess she'll make another decision then? xx

OP posts:
Osmiornica · 18/02/2015 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2015 19:50

Let's hope he makes enough rope to hang himself. I am sure she has tge measure of him, he was aggressive to her. They would not suspend contact for any good reason. It is pretty certain what ds answer will be regarding contact. I wish he never has to see his dad ever again!

Ohfourfoxache · 18/02/2015 19:56

She's already seen what he's like - if there is any wool pulling to be done then it's going to be a bloody difficult process from his perspective.

The SW ain't no fool - thank fuck.

How are you both doing? How is ds? X

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2015 20:05

Yes tha fact he was evasive and refused to engage until now, I think this SW is definitely on the ball. Ds is more vocal about his abuse at the hands of his father, so it's not baby word against his. Ds was found to be reliable and consistant in interviews.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2015 20:06

Ds accounts will probably be used as evidence against his father.

WhyDoesEveryoneHateMe · 18/02/2015 21:02

Just rad this thread. You are doing the right thing, week done protecting your ds. Hopefully the so can help you cut off from him completely.

Original poster
Babynamechange · 18/02/2015 22:08

I really hope so.
DS is doing great. He's been so much happier since he's not had to go.... Not been there for nearly 6 weeks and he's really getting his spark back xx

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2015 22:23

That's fantastic baby, long may it continue Smile

Ohfourfoxache · 18/02/2015 23:44

That's wonderful news! Thanks x

Original poster
Babynamechange · 19/02/2015 19:11

I'll come back tomorrow as soon as I know what's happening xx

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 19/02/2015 19:37

Lets hope all goes well Flowers

rumbleinthrjungle · 19/02/2015 20:14

Thinking of you Baby . Thanks

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