To think swans have no business having teeth?

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Well?

Incredibly ill-informed and offensive thread.

Sorry swan, someone didn't put 'lighthearted ' in the OP.

Now really, won't someone think of the swans?

I have seen then fly.

It's quite incredible, and they make the most amazing whoosh sound.

They are still nasty buggers though.

I used to have my very own pet swan that was orphaned so we raised it from just a little cygnet, I have a photo somewhere of me as a toddler sat on its back, I recall no biting taking place. He was called George and he was awesome.

Geese on the other hand, they're vicious bastards, I know a chap who went for a wee in a bush as a child and one thought it would take a peck at his pecker, he's been phobic ever since funnily enough.

Aren't you supposed to have blossomed into a beautiful swan? Ugly? Feeling a bit bitter?

S & B is quite good

Ghostspirit are you me? I have stroked swans too.....only the nice ones in the canal I used to pass by on the way to work. They were quite partial to Quavers and cheese sandwiches.
Swans feel like wet duvets btw

Nope, Arsenic, I'm the one that stayed ugly. But we have feelings too, you know. And teeth, obv.

My late uncle was once pecked on the pecker by a swan!
This shall be my Claim To Fame henceforth

m.youtube.com/watch?v=3fEj8y14FdM.

:)

And yes, Ottilia, I thought this was a swan-inclusive board. Besides, you can feed us slices of cucumber by hand and we will just nibble you fingers gently (this is actually true).

I had to rescue DD's phone from a flock of swans (is flock right, is it herd? ) when she dropped it in the loch. I thought my end was near.

The fairy stories must be very annoying, then. Please don't bite, though. Can we appease you with quavers or MacD's chips?

They're on my list of smug animals.

Swans
Pandas

Not a long list I admit.

I think armadillos belong on that list too.
But they are not birds.

For the record: nor are pandas.

Octopi are very smug ... I face water creatures in general, both smug and evil.

Ay oop. Davids Attenborough and Bellamy have joined us

I had no idea the breaking an arm thing is an urban myth. I have believed it since being knee high to one

I've been given the evils by them like most but that's the worst of their crimes against me. Geese on the other hand....

Bring me H.C. Andersen's head. And some cucumber slices. Oh, and chips. Thanks.

Octopi are on the worryingly sexy list along with:

Jersey cows
Giraffes

Also quite a short list but that's probably a good thing.

Have you ever seen a giraffe run?
It's weird and awesome and compelling viewing.
I have no idea how they don't fall over or trip up.

My dog is smug.
And eats cucumber and has teeth.

But he's not a swan.
I might be confusing this with the Katie Hopking thread.

I don't think you can be smug when you're rolling in your own shit. That's pigs and Una Stubbs out.

Octopi are on the worryingly sexy list

Is it the surfeit of arms?