Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think swans have no business having teeth?

200 replies

ArsenicFaceCream · 10/01/2015 19:27

Well?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
PacificDogwood · 10/01/2015 23:07

How in all that's holy, have I missed this fred??

And now I'm going to bed.
Thank you very much.
Humph.

I leave you with hen's teeth

Lweji · 10/01/2015 23:08

I prefer this "bird" with teeth.

To think swans have no business having teeth?
Babyroobs · 10/01/2015 23:15

They are nasty things, two of them blocked the path the other day and wouldn't let me pass, hissing and doing. There was a poor old lady trapped too. nasty things!

Original poster
ArsenicFaceCream · 10/01/2015 23:15

I'm going to have to cleanse my eyes with pictures of something pretty before bed, I think.

That 23.02 one is nasty.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArsenicFaceCream · 10/01/2015 23:17

Pacific she looks as though she has her own US news magazine show Smile

OP posts:
SaggyAndLucy · 11/01/2015 00:29

They're only birds you know!
There are hundreds here down by the walls. They've never killed anyone yet. Not even broken anyone's arm!
(although one did steal dps chips once. he's terrified of them!)
Their beaks are serrated to help them graze. Geese are the same.

sashh · 11/01/2015 07:41

Is it just swans or do all birds have teeth?

You know the expression, "rare as hen's teeth"? That because occasionally a hen will grow a tooth

SwedeDreams · 11/01/2015 08:04

Do geese have teeth? They look like they should

GerundTheBehemoth · 11/01/2015 09:10

Swans occasionally eat fish. But in swans and geese the lamellae are mainly for grazing purposes. In sawbill ducks the lamellae are sharp and pointy and their function is to grip fish. In some dabbling ducks they work as filters to strain out little bits of food (similar to how whales' baleen plates work).

Some other birds have bill serrations for grip, like aracaris (mini toucans).

ProudAS · 11/01/2015 09:10

Babyroobs - if they block the path don't be afraid to show them who's boss and shoo them out the way as you are in your element on land but they are not (I've shooed swans out of the road many a time plus stopped the local female from charging a baby). I wouldn't recommend encouraging your DCs to do it though as they are at the right height to peck or smack a child in the face.

Theres an article here about them. m.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17736292

BaronessBomburst · 11/01/2015 11:09

Yes, it was indeed a small boy CalamitouslyWrong . He is four.

I too have been to the Stratford-upon-Avon McDonalds and eaten chips. And fed them to the swans. I can remember when (1990), I can remember the singsong on the coach on the way back (Mrs Branca was not impressed by the lyrics), but I'm buggered if I can remember which play we saw, despite the lead actor spitting all over the stage. Blush

PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:13

Do geese have teeth? They look like they should.

Geese are scary fuckers, with or without teeth. Or 'teeth'. Or lamellae.
Hugely territorial - we used to holiday on a cottage on a farm when I was a child and anybody wanting to get anything from the car at night had to arm themselves with a broom or something to ward of the Attack Of The Guard Geese.
'Twas terrifying

SaggyAndLucy · 11/01/2015 12:58

see cows? they terrify me. birds? nah!

MoreBeta · 11/01/2015 14:08

I once saw a male swan march out into the middle of a busy A road spread his wings to full extent and stop a 40 tonne truck in its tracks and then usher his wife and cygnets across the road.

It was very impressive. The truck driver had no option really and had to sit patiently and wait for the male swan to clear the road.

TiggyD · 11/01/2015 14:12

Probably not even their teeth. They probably nick them out of people's mouths after breaking their arms.

Hatespiders · 11/01/2015 14:30

In Wroxham, Norfolk, there's a nice spot just by the bridge, with picnic tables. Dh and I were sitting there chatting and eating chips. Suddenly dh froze and nudged my arm. I stopped yapping and looked. Right beside us were about ten necks and beaks sticking up above the table. Looking us straight in the eye like a sick puppet show. And more on the way from the river. There must have been about thirty or so swans and our chips were on their minds. Dh was trembling; he's not sure of UK wildlife. We slowly and carefully stood up, scattered the chips on the ground and sidled off, then ran for our lives. The things were like that Alfred Hitchcock film.
But there have been several cruel and wicked attacks on poor swans with crossbow bolts in our area. They mate for life and when one loses his mate it will grieve.
I reckon just leave them alone and they'll leave us alone.
I think they're beautiful birds, 'teeth' or not!

Honeydragon · 11/01/2015 14:58

We used to have a boat, one swan used to know on the window at breakfast time for her plate of toast.

I'd slide back the window and she'd stick her head in and help herself Grin

We let a friend live there once and forgot to warn him.

He soon learnt to do extra breakfast.

Honeydragon · 11/01/2015 14:58

*knock

SaggyAndLucy · 11/01/2015 19:07

my brother took my mum and I kayaking a couple of years ago. He said: "now just past this bridge is a territorial male swan. just keep paddling and don't look him in the eye"...
I paddled like stink to the safe bit only to hear "whump" "whump" "whump".
I turned to see my mother in her slightly off balance kayak, turned sideways across the river and my mum with an Shock face on, and the huge male swan flapping down the river towards her with a very aggressive look on its beak! I swear to god its wing span was as long as the kayak! my poor mum was dwarfed!

It landed on the end of her kayak just as my brother arrived to give it a good paddling!
I have to say, in hindsight it was hysterical! poor mum was scarred for life!

Original poster
ArsenicFaceCream · 11/01/2015 19:21

Probably not even their teeth. They probably nick them out of people's mouths after breaking their arms.

You're not a fan are you?

It was a swan incident that taught me that I could run backwards in heels

He soon learnt to do extra breakfast.

I bet he did Shock

OP posts:
AllOutOfNaiceHam · 11/01/2015 19:31

YANBU. They are evil, evil bastards.
One bit my hand tried to kill me as a child.

Honeydragon · 11/01/2015 20:13

It turns out my definition of polite friendly swan is thought by others as

"Fuck a feathery dinosaur is trying to break in and kill me!!!"

The best part is he thought she'd gone ......

But she was waiting patiently at the back door in the wheel house.

Again, what I consider a friendly flap, others consider a full on ninja swan attack from the aft.

Makes more sense after reading this thread how confusion arises.

whothehellknows · 11/01/2015 20:23

Have you seen them fly, though? Definitely some sort of dark magic at work.

The county where I live is on a swan migration path, so we get thousands of the buggers at certain times of the year. They fly along the dykes, keeping pace with your car and occasionally turning their beady eyes in your direction.

It just looks wrong. No way something that size should be airborne. With teeth. Not sure why I leave the house, actually.

Original poster
ArsenicFaceCream · 11/01/2015 20:41

Witchcraft

OP posts:
whothehellknows · 11/01/2015 21:03

Her Majesty's equivalent of flying monkeys?