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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only take one of my children on holiday

122 replies

Aloneandnowwhat · 07/01/2015 19:55

So having been ripped off by my ex I have next to no money.
I am a single parent working full time and just wanted to take my kids (3.5 and 1.5) on a little holiday abroad this year.
Would I be a horrible mother to leave the 1.5yo with family and take the older one? To save on costs.
It doesn't feel right but youngest would never know and oldest would love it.

OP posts:
eosmum · 07/01/2015 19:56

Stay home and take both?

Daveface · 07/01/2015 19:56

I think YABU. Your youngest might not realise but your big one will know you left them behind.

Could you do a UK holiday with all of you instead?

ViolettaBridgettettette · 07/01/2015 19:56

How has your ex ripped you off?

I'm on the fence.

What sort of holiday do you have in mind?

lunar1 · 07/01/2015 19:58

Your youngest will know from pictures that they were left behind when they are older. I wouldn't do it.

QTPie · 07/01/2015 20:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 07/01/2015 20:00

I would if the younger one was happy being left. A stay with Granny or whoever is like a holiday anyway at that age as long as they're happy with that person.

PurpleStripedSock · 07/01/2015 20:00

What sort of extra holiday costs will you have for a 1.5 year old? I don't get it.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 07/01/2015 20:01

The youngest may find out in the future though, by someone letting slip / seeing photos. How would you answer them when they asked why you left them behind?
I think I would opt for a cheaper holiday and take both (UK holiday, out of usual season etc) or stay home this year and save to go next year.

DamnBamboo · 07/01/2015 20:02

Yes YWBVU.
Why would you even consider that?

ohmyactualgiddyaunt · 07/01/2015 20:03

Yabu. Stay in the UK and take both. A 3.5 yo will enjoy a week at haven or butlins.

ghostspirit · 07/01/2015 20:06

there might be a deal you can find where a child gos free? like someone else said maybe find a holiday in uk you can go to. your children wont care if its here or abroad. or maybe give yourself more time to save?

sleepingdragon · 07/01/2015 20:06

The 9.50 sun holiday offer is on at the moment, and there are lots of sites where people are uploading the codes so you don't need to buy the sun or have been collecting them. I haven't been before but am planning to book one for this year. I have been told you need to be flexible with dates,its best to upgrade if you can afford it, and you get charged extra for things like towels and bedding so its cheaper to take your own. There are some European campsites to, eurocamp and that sort of thing, and loads of UK holiday camp holidays.

crapatmultitasking · 07/01/2015 20:06

The 1.5 year old will go free (or almost) If you can why not take them both ? Its hard being a working mum,enjoy the sunshine and not having to worry about the day to day stuff,build sand castles,relax and splash in the pool .

Quitelikely · 07/01/2015 20:07

Darling people will judge, they always do but I say go for it!!!!!

You won't actually be harming anyone so...............

BackforGood · 07/01/2015 20:07

YWBVU.
Go away with them both, in this country.
Can't you imagine how hurt they would be when older, to realise what you'd done ?

Iggly · 07/01/2015 20:08

Yabu. Why does it have to be abroad?

Either get a last minute deal or go in the uk. The 3.5 year old wouldn't really be fussed anyway!

SMOGY · 07/01/2015 20:08

Honestly I wouldn't do it, but I also don't see that there is anything majorly wrong either. So what if they see pictures when they are older? You just say you were only little then so you had fun with gran. I doubt they'd be upset tbh. My friend recently took her five year old to Lapland and left her 9 month old behind, because she didn't know any different, and having her there would have limited what they could have done, when her lg is older they will take her too, really what are they missing out on??

As I said me wouldn't, just because of how I am, but I know plenty who do and can't see the harm. Especially as it would be hard to go on your own with two children that age.

needaholidaynow · 07/01/2015 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHermitCrab · 07/01/2015 20:13

Take a holiday in this country, going abroad would only be for yourself with the children at that age anyway.

I don't mean to be rude but it surprises me how many people think you need to go abroad to have a holiday. My OH's family have 2 or 3 holidays a year but must have one. My OH gets a sulk on at the fact we have only had 2 holidays ever.

It's unfair your ex has affected this but spend the time in this country and have a nice break with both your children.

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 07/01/2015 20:13

Stay in the UK and take them both, unfair to exclude a child even if they are too young to know.

IsabeauMichelle · 07/01/2015 20:14

Good lord. I can't believe how many people are saying YABU! Nothing wrong with this whatsoever. Blimey.

WinterShivers · 07/01/2015 20:15

I don't actually think she is being unreasonable. "Aloneandnowwhat" do what you feel is best!

WinterShivers · 07/01/2015 20:17

IsabeauMichelle Me neither, I'm sure she'll take the both of them on the next holiday Smile

FreeWee · 07/01/2015 20:17

Find a holiday you can take both on or not at all. I can't imagine not taking both my children (when the second arrives) on holiday together because it's a shared experience for them as siblings.

ViolettaBridgettettette · 07/01/2015 20:20

Actually just read that you want to take her abroad. Much nicer to have both in the uk. It's ok to do individual treats/time but that seems a bit too much