To only take one of my children on holiday

[Aloneandnowwhat]

So having been ripped off by my ex I have next to no money.
I am a single parent working full time and just wanted to take my kids (3.5 and 1.5) on a little holiday abroad this year.
Would I be a horrible mother to leave the 1.5yo with family and take the older one? To save on costs.
It doesn't feel right but youngest would never know and oldest would love it.

Oh be quiet johnquig you sound like a complete idiot.

I'd go on your own for a weekend so you get a proper break and take them somewhere in the UK. The airplane bit really isn't that exciting to kids in my experience - just a lot of waiting around which they don't understand and then a few exciting moments then more sitting. The payoff isn't worth it

Ignore johnquig; he is bonkers and wrong.

Op - your baby will enjoy attention from GPs and your 3.5yo will love spending time with you.
I see nothing wrong with going away with 1 dc on holiday - you will be able to relax better and they will appreciate being abroad. Not so much your baby!

If we disagree with posters now, we call them "bonkers and wrong"?
Toddler won't appreciate being abroad (I doubt 3 year old would either) but would appreciate a week spent doing fun stuff with their mum, who works full-time.

Igg, JQ suggested OP shouldn't have had her children.

That's certainly wrong.

just book it already! keep us updated - I'm more excited by your hols than mine - you really deserve a break and you sound like a super mum op. And people please stop suggesting mini breaks in the drizzle - this woman needs some sunshine in her life.

Wintershivers

TheHermitCrab I would never class somewhere in the UK/Europe as a holiday it's more like a "break". Holidays to me and my son are places such as America and Dubai.

That is the snobbiest comment I have ever read. What a joke.

OP I've just booked a holiday to the Canary Islands for me and my 7yo dd through Sun Master. I got two weeks half board with flights, luggage and taxes for just under £700. I paid half as a deposit and have until May to pay the rest up (we go at the beginning of July). DD stays and eats for free, so I've only had to pay for her flight and luggage. I can't really afford it this year, but I haven't been abroad for 5 years and I was adamant we were having a hot beach holiday this year. I'm a single parent too and I work bloody hard - I needed a holiday this year!

Bear in mind that you won't pay anything for your 1.5yo. She's under 2 so fly's for free and I don't suspect you'll pay much for her to stay in a hotel. A lot of holidays on the website I mentioned above offer child free places (hotel stay and food), so do have a look and see if you can grab a bargain. Because of their ages you shouldn't be tied to school holidays per say, so booking for the end of June/beginning of July will save you hundreds as the English schools haven't finished for summer.

If you can't stretch to a holiday abroad, check out the likes of Butlins and Haven, etc. I took dd to Butlins for a week at the beginning of July 2013 for £350. That included accommodation, food, entertainment passes and our train tickets down. Some folks might turn their noses up at Butlins, but we've enjoyed it both times we've been. It's cheap, you're always right next to a beach and the entertainment for the kids is fantastic.

You can pick up Haven holidays very cheaply as well and you'll only pay for the caravan - not per person. So if you had some friends/family that wanted to go with you, it would cost even less if you were to split the cost down the middle. We've got a 6 person caravan over on the east coast booked for the April half term that cost £320 to hire for the week. It is only dd and I going, but it would have cost £320 for 2 or 6 of us, if that makes sense? Again, the Haven parks offer children's entertainment, they're near a beach and I think they all have an indoor swimming pool.

Holidays are what you make of them. They don't have to be anywhere fancy - it could be a caravan park right up the road from you as long as you get away from the drudgery of every day life and just enjoy the break Personally, I would want to take both children and make the memories of having them both with me. But it's up to you at the end of the day. You do what feels right for you.

God some of the comments

You can just tell they come from these 'mums' who once they have kids no longer have any identity of their own or a first name or any personality at all. They are mum - super mum and only mum - put on this easer to shame all other mothers that don't constantly think of their children and only their children.

Go OP. Do what you think is best for you and your kids. For what it's worth our DS HATED holidays abroad until he was 3-4. He was miserable despite all efforts of sun coverage, swim time, playing etc.

Enjoy your holiday with your older dc and do a nice couple days at the beach somewhere as well with all 3 of you in a premier inn or something.

We've been abroad a lot with DS but some of the best times he's had are out 1-2 night trips away in UK.

Oh do it, and don't feel guilty for a second. I only have one child but from an early age he used to stay with my mum for a week every summer, he loved it! I bet your baby would too. Babies in a hot climate that they aren't used to can be hard work, and its not like they remember any of it.

I am one of four and my parents regularly went on holiday without us at all, or with various combinations of children. I've no idea if it worked out fairly or not, and have absolutely zero problem with how they did it. We either stayed with family and/or friends or sometimes family/friends came and stayed in our house and looked after us. The holidays my parents went on their own had zero appeal (hill walking, mostly in the Alps or Pyrenees) although it was fun getting postcards.

There were quite a few holidays for older siblings (I'm the youngest) and I was left behind a few times because my parents thought I was too young. I remember fun times with the people I stayed with, and just accepted that was what would happen. As I got older my big brothers/sisters didn't come on holiday with us anymore, so it probably worked out, and we each got a really special holiday when we were around 16, as a sort of the last holiday hurrah with my parents before they expected us to go on our own trips with friends instead.

OP really, take both, one or no children and have the break you need without feeling guilty.

VinoTime thanks for all the suggestions.
JQ, bit late to suggest not having my children - hadn't actually planned on being a single parent at the time but yes I should have considered that and not had them - ignorant idiot.

You are all very much more organised in printing out your photos than I am. No one would ever manage to find and date a specific holiday from my DCs' childhood.

I think that the OP should go. She herself will not really get much of a rest on her own with 2 DC. The younger one would obviously enjoy it but won't be scarred by staying home.

As a 1.5 year old, wouldn't you rather stay in granny's house in the UK than an unknown caravan in the UK?

It seems the net enjoyment of the group AND OF EACH MEMBER OF THE GROUP would likely be higher if one was at granny's and two were abroad than if three were in a UK caravan.

Aloneandnowwhat please ignore johnquin unfortunately there are just some really vile people on here who are only worth being ignored.

Unfortunately in typical mumsnet style you've said you want a cheap week in the sun and the chance to take your eldest ob the plane and instead you've had ridiculous suggestions of a weekend in the rain (which would cost as much anyway), going on your own.

Some people clearly aren't on the same planet.

I have 2 dc with a 6 year age gap and I've been on holidays with both of them and left the other at home on several occasions , it's never caused any problems or resentment . Likewise they have both been on holiday with my dsis individually .

op, do what suits you, not what a lot of strangers on the internet say!!!

if you want to take the oldest somewhere hot and sunny and you have someone happy to have the little one, then why the hell not, just do it

YANBU but because this will be the last year the baby will go free (under 2) I would take both and ask a travel agent for advice.
Turke has some great all inclusive deals as do Spain and Greece.

We didn't really do foreign holidays when we were young children (went to stay with an uncle in France once, but otherwise not), but when we were teenagers one year Dad would take me, the next one of my siblings - or one of our godparents would take one of us. Never caused any problems, because they were fair.

If the baby is free though, might be worth exploring. And definitely a good idea to do a day out at the beach/woods etc and have photos to show when the baby is a bit older to make sure she knows she had her trip too.

I don't have my parents any more so baby would have been staying with her Aunt.
Think I've decided to take both, just need to find a relatively cheap holiday now.
Thanks all for the input.