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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only take one of my children on holiday

122 replies

Aloneandnowwhat · 07/01/2015 19:55

So having been ripped off by my ex I have next to no money.
I am a single parent working full time and just wanted to take my kids (3.5 and 1.5) on a little holiday abroad this year.
Would I be a horrible mother to leave the 1.5yo with family and take the older one? To save on costs.
It doesn't feel right but youngest would never know and oldest would love it.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 07/01/2015 21:24

Trouble is, your budget wouldn't cover things like passports and insurance, OP. By the time you had covered that, you could have taken LO (although your points about being outnumbered are entirely valid IMO). Since you don't have to go in school holidays, look at something immediately either side of that and maybe whoever was going to have LO could come too, to even the numbers and let you enjoy it a bit more?

Nerf · 07/01/2015 21:24

Oh do it. Life and love isn't measured by a spreadsheet. I have four dcs and have done holidays en masse, a weekend with one of them, a day trip with two of them, a trip abroad with one of them - why wouldn't you? Maybe when the 3.5 year old is at school you'll do some fab days out with little one?

Original poster
Aloneandnowwhat · 07/01/2015 21:25

Thanks for the replies - I understand what both sides are saying. I probably wouldn't feel right leaving youngest behind anyway, will take both I think.
It's been a hard few months and I just want to get away to be honest

OP posts:
bubalou · 07/01/2015 21:26

Op you do what you want. Smile

We do winter holidays in center parcs and we love it. November and January are really cheap times to go and all the swimming is free in an amazing indoor swim center that has different areas, wave pools, flames etc.

It's soooo child friendly too. We have been going 1-2 times a year since DS was born.

Grin
Original poster
Aloneandnowwhat · 07/01/2015 21:26

Stealth the couple of hundred was just for the holiday booking - have budget for passports etc. separate.

OP posts:
silkandsteel83 · 07/01/2015 21:27

I don't see a problem at all. In fact i think it would be nice to have some 1 on 1 time.

stealthsquiggle · 07/01/2015 21:28

In that case, OP, I think both ideas are fine. If dc2 even remembers, or you feel guilty in years to come, you could find something special to do just with dc2.

Good luck with choosing. I hope you find something that works for you.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 07/01/2015 21:44

3 year olds do like holidays, and going on planes...

1 adult to 2 children under 4 at center parks would be a nightmare - my parents treated us to it when my older 2 were 2 and 4; my sister who was there with her husband and 1 5 year old thought it was wonderful - I was on my own with my 2 (parents less than no help) and incredibly stressed trying to keep both of them alive at once, as they wanted to go in different directions on little water shoots and stuff - an utter nightmare.

I have 3 kids and take each to London for 3 nights the summer they are 7 (we live abroad, I justify it as cultural education, but it's a wonderful 1:1 trip, just planned around that child - and they all know they get to do it, but of course each time I take 1 and leave 2 kids.) We have also taken the older 2 to Berlin - youngest was delighted to get DH'S parents to himself for 3 nights and would have both hated the trip and ruined it for the older 2, who knew what they wanted from the trip, and it wasn't 3.5 yo attention span compatible.

I also took the your on a series of special day (morning) trips just before he started preschool - he wanted to go on a train, see deer, seedidinosaur bones, and go on escalators... The older ones weren't jealous :o

If you are used to juggling a 3 and a 1 year old alone, just the 3 year old will be a real holiday. The dynamic of 1 adult to 1 child is such a luxury, and your relationship will blossom. Your 1.5 year old will be delighted to have grandparents all to himself too - everyone wins, surely!

dwarfrabbit · 07/01/2015 21:47

be skeptical of some of the 'i wouldn't do its' as I suspect a few are not in the situation you are in, of not much money and by yourself with two tinies, and with the gumption to make the best out of it.

You want a nice holiday with guaranteed sun. Spain, Italy, the South of France and Greece are all good and kid friendly. A package holiday to a big hotel will be cheaper and may even have a kids' club so you can have some richly deserved time to yourself on the sun lounger. Last minute bargains are well worth it - have a look at websites such as lastminute.com .

wobblyweebles · 07/01/2015 21:49

I like taking one or other of my children on holiday abroad. We get one-on-one time, it costs less, it means they get to see family abroad every so often.

Original poster
Aloneandnowwhat · 07/01/2015 22:03

Dwarfrabbit thanks for the advice, I will look at that now.

OP posts:
Frogisatwat · 07/01/2015 22:07

Go! I am so passionate about a bit of warmth being good for the soul

WyrdByrd · 07/01/2015 22:14

I don't think I'd do it but I can see where you're coming from tbh.

Why not have a look at the abroad options first & see if there's anything affordable before ruling it out altogether.

We had 4 years running at Butlins in Bognor with our DD. Haven't been for a couple of years as she's outgrown it now, but it was great for preschoolers & they have a creche & spa Wink .

dwarfrabbit · 07/01/2015 22:18

Go for it! I do hope you go. Sounds like you need a break. I've been alternating kids for sunny holidays for 12 years and they're fine with it and love having a parent all to themselves, or being spoiled by grandma. We all have our own situations to contend with and it sounds like you're doing the very best you can.

hanban89 · 07/01/2015 22:48

Personally I would take them both to a UK holiday. I took my DD to a caravan holiday when she was 20 months and it was so nice to see her playing and exploring in new places. They may not remember it, but at the time they really enjoy it. X

hanban89 · 07/01/2015 22:48

Personally I would take them both to a UK holiday. I took my DD to a caravan holiday when she was 20 months and it was so nice to see her playing and exploring in new places. They may not remember it, but at the time they really enjoy it. X

DixieNormas · 07/01/2015 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 07/01/2015 22:59

That was 1 child and you though Han - 1 very small child + 1 adult = holiday and bonding time for both; 1 very small child and one preschooler + 1 adult is going to be a very, very different experience, and probably stressful away from home without support, unless OP can and wants to choose a place with a creche for part of the time.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 07/01/2015 23:04

My parents left me behind when I was 1 years old when they went to Spain. They took my two older brothers who would have been 3 and 4. Seriously, I don't remember it and they left me as they thought I probably wouldn't like the heat or the flight so I got left with Granny. No emotional scars and I think my mum probably missed me more than I missed her.

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/01/2015 23:27

Fwiw I think yanbu.

The baby won't know or remember, it will be much easier for you with the 3.5 year old. You can always go again in a few years when they're both older. I find it hard to believe that the youngest will care about something that they don't even remember. You could even say it was before they were born.

UK holidays aren't necessarily cheaper.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope that you manage to get away somewhere and have a break.

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/01/2015 23:29

The other thing is if you did take the eldest abroad, you could always do another seaside trip on a sunny weekend and possibly even a cheap b&b for one night.

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/01/2015 23:43

The more I think about it you've had some really nasty replies on here. You've said you want some sunshine UK won't be cheaper assuming you're looking for a cheap package holiday abroad.

A 1.5 year old will get nothing from a holiday abroad but a 3.5 year old will. That was the age I first took ds and it was brilliant.

My baby is due in a few months and I'd like to get a cheap holiday abroad before with ds as I won't be going for a few years after that.

JohnQuig · 07/01/2015 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YonicSleighdriver · 07/01/2015 23:50

YANBU do it.

YonicSleighdriver · 07/01/2015 23:53

Of course she could enjoy a holiday abroad with a 3.5 year old.

And maybe take the younger one away when they are a bit older and the elder can go to granny.

OP, there is a minimal charge for under 2s on a plane if they don't have a seat but they do need to sit on your lap then and many airlines don't then give them a full luggage allowance.

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