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Original poster

To give in/not give in re 16

189 replies

Paddleslowly · 06/01/2015 19:48

Ds likes playing games on the xbox and often plays online with others. He is very into minecraft which I don't mind as it's age appropriate for him as he is twelve. He is now sulking that it's not fair because the rest of his friends from school are either playing Call of Duty, Grand theft Auto and Battlefield. And he is left out from the group players online. Most of his minecraft friends are from year 5/6.
He knows that I disagree with the first two games totally inappropriate for his age as they are 18. However I looked into the content on a demo of Battlefield which is a 16 rating. It seems to be soldiers running around a field firing at each other in the army. maybe I should let him grow up a bit more and let him play with his mates on Battlefield! Apparently I've ruined his life!! Think he is entering the Kevin and Perry stage

OP posts:
Waitingonasunnyday · 07/01/2015 17:32

My family know GTA will never be allowed under my roof. Same as they know I will never buy Nestle, the Sun, or subscribe to Sky.

I don't mind DS playing certain games that are rated a few years older than he is, if I have researched them and understand why, and he doesn't play them online with 'sweary old people' (who frankly wouldn't want him on their team anyway I suspect). But he doesn't have carte blanche to get any game.

He knows that any moody/bad behaviour = no playstation and I am very firm on this.

Waitingonasunnyday · 07/01/2015 17:33

And it REALLY cheered me when my uncle mentioned he has the same policy on GTA, so my cool adult cousin that DS looks up to is in the same situation.

357686312646216567629 · 07/01/2015 18:03

JohnQuig. Not sure why you have to be so aggressive - perhaps all those games have got to you after all. [confsed] You also seem to be having difficulties reading people's posts. Of course I don't choose my adult children's entertainment. That would be ridiculous. I do, however, have 'control' over what is allowed in my own house. I don't allow GTA and I don't allow porn. Surely, that is simple enough for you to understand.

I also wouldn't allow smoking, or drugs or stolen goods in my home. Presumably you are 'cool' with all these things?

I find your conviction that my DSs must watch porn weird and a bit sad. All I said was that I don't allow porn in my house. Confused

JohnQuig · 07/01/2015 18:21

357686312646216567629

Hardly being aggressive.

Yes, you ARE controlling the entertainment of your adult children by not 'allowing GTA in [your] house'. If my mother told me (at age 21) that I couldn't watch Saw 2 or Straw Dogs in her house because she wouldn't allow it, I'd genuinely find it hilarious.

Smoking, drugs and stolen goods are completely different. Your adult sons playing GTA in your house or watching porn (99% of men do, sorry!) is not going to effect your life in anyway.

You might think you don't allow porn in your house, but trust me, it'll be there.

Original poster
Paddleslowly · 07/01/2015 18:44

Brie I just don't agree with what you have said. Playing these games from the age of 6 will have affected you in some way. Studies have findings of young people who play violent video games on a regular basis are particularly susceptible to depression. Not all children but some. Six was a very young and tender age.

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 07/01/2015 18:47

As with so many things, it depends on the child and his individual level of maturity.
My own boys are only 2 but two of my nephews are 13 and 14.
The younger one is bizarrely much more mature and does play some 18 rated games ( not the really bad stuff like grand theft auto where you run around killing prostitutes, but the war games like call of duty are okay ).
However, he does understand that it's only a game .
Best thing you can do is play the game yourself for an hour with an open mind and see what it's like.

357686312646216567629 · 07/01/2015 18:53

JohnQuig You sound like charming son. Hmm

Bulbasaur · 07/01/2015 18:58

If he does play xbox live, make sure it's only people he knows. Otherwise he's going to learn all sorts of new and interesting racist and sexist phrases. I learned new things as an adult.

CoD crowd are the worst offenders, imho.

That said, 12 is too young for those games. I don't think it's going to hurt him to play them on a personal level, but if it goes against your morals, then that's the rule. I'd be more concerned about what friends he hangs out with and what sort of morals they condone and normalize for him. That will have more of an influence than a video game.

JohnQuig · 07/01/2015 19:31

357686312646216567629

Yes, I am a good son because my parents always treated me respectfully and allowed me to make some decisions myself. They didn't put a blanket ban on anything and they certainly understand that even though I lived under their roof, they had no power over what entertainment I consumed (and nor should they).

If you start blanket banning things because they're "morally wrong" (yawn.) your kids are going to rebel and do their own thing.

357686312646216567629 · 07/01/2015 21:53

JohnQuig My DCs are adults and haven't yet had to 'rebel' against anything, so I presume they haven't minded me 'banning' GTA and porn from the house. It's hardly an unusual stance. My DC and I get on well, they wouldn't want to do something that they know I wouldn't like. It's not to do with 'power' or control just simple respect.

JohnQuig · 07/01/2015 22:30

357686312646216567629

No, it is an unusual stance. No normal parent would dare dictate what forms of entertainment their adult children were allowed to consume. Honestly, it's laughable that you can't see how ridiculous that is.

357686312646216567629 · 07/01/2015 22:40

JohnQuig FFS, you are desperate for an argument.

I haven't banned my adult kids from doing anything. What I have done is ban GTA and porn from my house. Can you seriously not see the difference? Hmm

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/01/2015 23:03

Sorry, JohnQuig, but 357686.... can "dare" to dictate anything she likes in her own home - doesn't sound like her adult children are too put out by it.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/01/2015 23:06

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths some gamers will go to try and justify young children playing very adult video games.

I mean Resident Evil at 6?? 6 yrs old?

Perhaps I should let my 7yr old dd watch Hostel and Saw III and just be done with it! (Not).

JohnQuig · 07/01/2015 23:41

357686312646216567629

You banning them from your house is exactly the same as banning your kids from them, really.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones

Resi Evil 6 is an 18 purely for language. The zombies aren't scary at all and it's not even a particularly gory game. Same goes for CoD - mainly language.

I wasn't saying we should let 6 year olds play them though. I simply said that at the age of 12 and 13, kids are a bit more mature and parents can decide on an individual basis, instead of a blanket ban just because it says "16" or "18" on the box.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/01/2015 23:59

I know what Resident Evil is. I've played it.

Why do you assume I'm ignorant on this subject?

syne · 08/01/2015 01:04

Only you'll know if your son is going to be affected badly by the games,
battlefield and cod are just the modern day versions of toy soldiers, I never bothered with the battlefield campaign, but the cod single player does have some gory bits, saying that cod 4 should be played through, it's an impressive bit of story telling.

Your main concern should really be the online aspect, the amount of shit that spews down the mic from -usually- pubescent americans is soul destroyingly sad and disparaging. Outlook doesn't look good for the human race iyswim.
This alone is likely to have a larger impact than the game itself.

As for gta, it depends how worldly wise/sheltered the child is. Going by mumsnet you'd be forgiven for thinking the game solely revolved around prostitutes, it doesn't. it 99% of the time involves going a to b in a car avoiding the chasing police getting something/shooting something and returning back to a. Much the same as far cry just swap city for jungle.
The language is bad and the theme is adult in both single players,
But the online gta is just multiplayer shoot em up/car races.

I think the scarface benchmark is a good one;
If you wouldn't sit them down to watch Scarface (or trainspotting) then you shouldn't give them Gta. Saying that my sons got gta but I'm not sure I'd let him watch trainspotting, as films are much closer to reality than current games and can hit so so much harder that I'm not sure they're comparable

TheHermitCrab · 08/01/2015 03:30

Syne

As for gta, it depends how worldly wise/sheltered the child is. Going by mumsnet you'd be forgiven for thinking the game solely revolved around prostitutes, it doesn't. it 99% of the time involves going a to b in a car avoiding the chasing police getting something/shooting something and returning back to a. Much the same as far cry just swap city for jungle.
The language is bad and the theme is adult in both single players,
But the online gta is just multiplayer shoot em up/car races.

Being someone who has played and completed all the GTA games, and is a female, and regular mumsnetter, you are so wrong. San Andreas and Vice City have a hell of a lot of prostitution/strip clubs/sex within the game, and although it is less of a focus in GTA 5, the story line of the characters with a mix of sopranos, a completely unhinged violent hillbilly and OK franklin is pretty tame but he still has a lot of interaction with his crack whore friend, and he is a gangster but still...

I find the games hilarious and fun, But in no way does it have content that a 12 year old should be indulging in no matter how wise/sheltered they are.

Waitingonasunnyday · 08/01/2015 09:07

Reading JohnQuig's posts I'm very pleased that I'd be in the 'not normal parent' category. Blimey what an attitude problem.

ghostspirit · 08/01/2015 09:19

my son is 12 i allow him to play 18 rate games. i bought him resident evil 6 for xmas and hes to scared to play it. he plays 5 so thought he would like 6 . my 7 year old has played 18 ones as well... not proper play though. he normally just finds an area/room to use the control to run about and jump and things like that.

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 08/01/2015 09:37

Battlefield 4 on the PS4 is not suitable for kids - I don't know about any other versions. There are scenes of torture during interrogation, and the violence is just over the top in its attempts at realism - people scream in pain whilst dying, you can cut people's throats and the use of bad language is just like it is another language where every other word is a swear word.

I suppose its only defence is there is no sex involved.

102030 · 08/01/2015 09:57

JonhQuig - I don't suppose you still live with your parent/parents by any chance?

JohnQuig · 08/01/2015 12:36

102030

Is that any of your business?

Also, at least attempt to spell my name right - it's not hard.

JohnQuig · 08/01/2015 12:36

Waitingonasunday

I don't have an attitude problem. I just think it's disgusting that there are parents on here trying to dictate what their adult children can do.

Waitingonasunnyday · 08/01/2015 12:46

JohnQuig - There aren't parents on here trying to dictate what their adult children can do.