To give in/not give in re 16

[Paddleslowly]

Ds likes playing games on the xbox and often plays online with others. He is very into minecraft which I don't mind as it's age appropriate for him as he is twelve. He is now sulking that it's not fair because the rest of his friends from school are either playing Call of Duty, Grand theft Auto and Battlefield. And he is left out from the group players online. Most of his minecraft friends are from year 5/6.
He knows that I disagree with the first two games totally inappropriate for his age as they are 18. However I looked into the content on a demo of Battlefield which is a 16 rating. It seems to be soldiers running around a field firing at each other in the army. maybe I should let him grow up a bit more and let him play with his mates on Battlefield! Apparently I've ruined his life!! Think he is entering the Kevin and Perry stage

You can't be serious, surely? I was playing GTA at 12 (now almost 22) and it's never done me any harm except for being sent down for murder.

I'm pretty sure I managed to complete GTA V without murdering any prostitutes. Yes, you can do that if you want, just like you can also hunt for buried treasure, go hiking or take flying lessons. None of these things have any impact on the game and most people don't buy the game to do those things, though.

Honestly, it's laughable that some of you are stopping ADULT CHILDREN from playing what they want to! I'm not a misogynist, never have been and GTA didn't make me one.

My ds is 15 now and has mostly grown out of playing FPS - in fact he hardly plays on consoles now and has moved to PC strategy gaming instead.

When he was younger he had some games rated as older (where I live they get 'teen' and 'mature') depending on what was actually going on in them, but for shooters the rule was that he couldn't kill anyone obviously human, and if I saw anything that looked sadistic then he'd not play that game again. So no to GTA, COD etc.

He was a big Halo fan (especially the ones where you can create your own playing space) and struggled to find anything as good after the rest of the world moved on (plus the later Halo games were a bit rubbish). So I'd recommend Halo, but the problem is that if his friends are playing games he's not allowed to play then he'll feel excluded regardless I'm afraid (sad really that so many families are OK with carnage and sadism in their homes).

Oh, dd and dh suggest Destiny. Apparently very popular and no issues (it's just like Halo really).

I'm deadly serious, JohnQuig. My 12yr old is not playing GTA5 because it's a pegi18, and it's a particularly nasty one.

JohnQuig I played GTA when I was 12, now in my late 20s and play GTA, saints row...etc. It was pixelated crap and barely decipherable and a birds eye view scenario, the worst thing about it was the language.

I'm not saying the child will murder prostitutes (or anyone) if they play the game, Yes when I played mortal combat as a kid I wasn't trying to replicate fatalities on people. But I also wouldn't be letting my 12 yr old watch "Seven" or "Saw" or "The Godfather" even if I thought they wouldn't replicate what they saw, it just isn't appropriate.

Adult child? what does that even mean? The OP's child is just a child...he's 12. He's not even a teen yet.

and it's never done me any harm

Famous last words.

JohnQuig You have a very immature way of looking at it that the only reason people may be against the situation is in case the child because a prostitute murdering nut job... it's not the case.

Just like films have ratings so do the games based on content. In the last few days I've played GTA, Splinter Cell and God of War (I'm 38 weeks pregnant and bored! lol) And they have much more extreme content in them than some films. It's just sensible not to let a 12 year old play them due to sexual content, violent content, adult situations that they may or may not be aware of yet...etc.

My nephew (now 18) played the first next gen GTA game (GTA IV) when he was about 13. It's really not done any harm at all and it was just as realistic as it is now.

He's got 4 A-Levels and is going to a Russell Group Uni. Never been in trouble with the police or anything.

Why do people think playing games is going to change people? Kids are usually smarter than their parents and know games (no game is 100% realistic, they still look very cartoony!) I was watching RoboCop, Friday the 13th and Halloween at age 10 and I've turned out relatively fine.

Oh, and HermitCrab, I was talking about the posters who were saying their adult children (e.g. 18 and 19 year olds living at home) wouldn't dare bring GTA into their house. I mean, really? If my mum tried that me and my dad would laugh her out of the room. But then again she's always allowed me to make my own decisions on things like that.

Again JohnQuig A very immature reaction to the situation. "my nephew did this and never got arrested"

Who'd talking about people murdering people or getting arrested. It's all about the content and whether it is age appropriate for whatever reason, not to just stop them murdering people or drug dealing or being arrested.

It isn't about a child playing a game and then going out and copying that exact action he has just played out.

I love my fair share of violence, gore, horror, action, but I was allowed to play those games and watch those films at a very young age, or at least witness them as I spent a lot of time with my brother who was 12 years older. Whether that influenced whether I like the above so much now? Who can say!

All I know is 12 years old on GTA is daft, It is much more graphic and in depth than it used to be, and just because people aren't becoming murderers and drug dealers from playing the games doesn't mean its appropriate.

If a 15 yr old sees porn he may not become a misogynistic prat or be arrested, or start up his very own brothel, but it doesn't mean it'll do him any better to watch it.

I got all A's, I have 2 NVQs and a degree and I love GTA, my daughter still isn't playing the equivalent at the age of 12 no matter how "well I turned out".

HermitCrab I get what you're saying, but where's the cutoff really? I know hugely immature 18 year olds and really mature 12 year olds. I think it should be based on your own judgement. I don't think it's fair to say the content isn't appropriate for any 12 year olds etc.

If we all blindly followed age ratings, I wouldn't have been able to do my A-Level Coursework on the films of Stanley Kubrick as all the films I studied were rated 18...

N.B. I watched 18 rated horror films when I grew up (mainly due to my brother who is 7 years older than me) and for a while I didn't like horror (not due to being scarred or anything, just not for me). It was only when I did film studies and learned about the art of film that I started to enjoy them again, so I don't think content you view at a young age necessarily influences your tastes at all (we never watched sci-fi in our house as a family, but I'm a huge Trekkie and Whovian, for example)

I think it's less the affect it might have on Alevel results, and more the effect of such a graphically violent and sexually violent game might have on an very impressionable young mind. I mean he's 12 ffs - all 12 yr olds are impressionable, that's what being 12 means. He has (hopefully) been living in a nice cocooned world and just doesn't have experience of sex and violence. I repeat - he's 12. I don't want his first experience of these things lived through an interactive video game - one that has only been deemed suitable for adults. I realise I can't protect him from it forever, but I think it's my job to protect him from it as long as possible, and certainly not condone him playing it. It's called parenting.

Battlefield is okay for a 16 I think, best thing to do is watch some clips of the game on youtube and see if you feel its age appropriate.

Stick with your stance on the first two games though, they are certainly not okay for a boy of 16.

All of our games machines are in common rooms, and I'm not having something being played in my living room/denwhich I find disturbing, or watching/hearing my son being a sadist. The same goes for dh and dd for that matter, but they tend to play RPGs mostly, and dh isn't into real style stuff that much.

I'm quite happy as an adult to play or watch sillier shoot'em ups so long as they are about style and humour rather than relentless killing, and I really hate misogyny, so no GTA in my house.

If when ds is old enough to buy what I consider nasty stuff on his own and if he attempts to insists on playing them at home and laughs when I object then his dad and I will be asking him to move out to his own home pretty swiftly. Luckily he is a mature and sensible child, and so he listened to my concerns, thought about them and agreed that there was a problem. Plus he tried them at his mates houses and reported that they weren't really his thing.

Oh and while I might not know a huge amount about games (except for what those I enjoy) dh is a big gamer and it's also not at all hard to find out what a game entails as you can easily watch a lets play on YouTube or find a good review site.

Nooka Wow, it must be nice living in a dictatorship. Your husband can't play what he wants - if he enjoyed GTA would you divorce him? The games aren't misogynist unless you want them to be.

And, honestly, if your worst fear is your future 18 year old son bringing back a GTA game to play in the privacy of his own room, then you're living a sheltered life. Honestly, asking him to move out? Don't be ridiculous.

At 18 I bought my own games consoles and games and - rightly - my mum couldn't/can't tell me what to play on them. What I do privately (as long as it's legal) is nobody's business.

JohnQuig

I think it should be based on your own judgement. I don't think it's fair to say the content isn't appropriate for any 12 year olds etc.

Drug dealing, street crime, gangs, sex, violence and hookers is never appropriate for a 12 year old. I don't care how mature they are.

It's not about blindly following ratings. But no sensible person would think "My 12 year old is quite mature, I'm quite ok with him car jacking, shooting, having sex, selling women, visiting strip clubs...etc in a fantasy world"

GTA is very clear why it has the rating it has.

Others for instance... Say The Matrix films, are a 15, yet I would let some 12yr olds watch them .

I don't think anyone here is blindly following an age rating, but sensibly making decisions for their children based on content.

I do agree asking your son to move out at the age of 18 for choosing the play an 18 rated game because you don't like it is quite crazy. Are you going to vet his films and internet usage too?

I know under your roof and whatnot, but If he's an adult and still under your roof I would assume he would be paying like one, and also be treated like one.

TheHermitCrab

Would you let a 12 year old play Need for Speed (it's rated 7+)? It involves illegal streetracing, speeding, carjacking and outrunning the police, but apparently that's fine. That's an entire game revolving around illegal activities with no other choices.

You can play the sandbox element of GTA completely within the law if you want to (you can legally purchase cars, homes, aeroplanes and make money legitimately. Yes, the game has a criminal element to it but it doesn't have to be played that way.)

JohnQuig

I'm not basing it on the activity being illegal. But how graphic it is, and how much I think the child should be aware of the situation before playing it.

I wouldn't expect a 12 yr old to be well versed on hookers, drugs, guns and all the other things that make GTA what it is. Driving a car with a tiger in it, fair doos by me. But the idea of a 12 year old experiencing theses things first time via Trevor in GTA, as hilarious as I find him, isn't something my 12 year old should understand, be too involved in. Maybe older, but not 12.

As for need for speed. I can't remember playing that, but I do play Burnout, which is a lot of crashing/stunts/racing. Yes I would let my child drive the fast cars around. They would be playing it for the racing not the car jacking.

GTA story is what makes the game, you can't avoid the content and story just to have a mooch around the game for fun, you've gotta be involved in the content and interact. If you're going to play it sandbox you may as well be playing the sims.

TheHermitCrab

But surely driving games are more harmful (they're very realistic). They're more likely to actually get in a car at some point than handle a gun or pick up a prostitute.

Honestly, if we're talking about graphic then speeding around in cars should be top of the list, not violence.

JohnQuig

I think you missed my point about 4 posts ago.

As I said. It think it is a bit silly and immature for the basis of it be only if the child goes out and replicates what they play...

I'm pretty sure I already posted directly to you that is isn't about the child going out and finding a hooker, stealing a car, or shooting a gun. It is about the content being appropriate, not whether or not it is easy to copy. Children aren't so stupid that they go out and copy everything they do/see/read. It isn't about that.

Do children know about fast cars? Yes. Can they drive them around on games? Yes, will they leave the house get in daddies ford and drive off into the sunset? No! of course not (well maybe one in a few thousand "special" children.

Should a 12 year old child know about prostitution/drugs/gang violence/ strip clubs/ mob bosses/ crazy rednecks who have serious mummy problems...etc...etc? I would hope not to the degree that GTA show it.

Do I want my child to learn about those things via GTA? No! of course not.

When they know about all the above, have their own opinions on it and are at an appropriate age to play the games can they go out and buy them themselves and play them? OF COURSE.

Come on now.. be sensible.

If my dh turned into the sort of person who played GTA in a violent and misogynistic way then yes I don't think that our relationship would survive. I certainly don't think I should have to put up with listening/watching something I consider to be very unpleasant for several hours a day. If dh thought that playing one game was more important than our relationship then more fool him really, not the sort of person I'd want to spend my life with.

But as I say, he doesn't think much of GTA5 and he has hundreds of other games to play so it's really not an issue.

As for my kids, yes to some extent it is a dictatorship, at least when it comes to things that I feel very strongly about. I really don't care too much about the ratings (where I live ratings tend to be more about sex than violence as North Americans are more prudish and less bothered about violence than Europeans so we always investigate further), I do care about the content.

So would I tell him to leave home if he played an 18 game, no. He already does. I might however if I told him that it was unacceptable to play a game in our home and he thought the appropriate response was to laugh at me. Bearing in mind that I expect both of my children to leave home for higher education at around 18 anyway it's all pretty moot.

Oh and I'm looking forward to watching A Clockwork Orange with both of my children in a few years (so at 16/17), if they want to that is, we've watched a few Kubricks with them.

nooka

So it's ok for your family to watch violence sex and gang rape, as long as it is in a way you deem acceptable? But if your OH played GTA it would be an issue because you don't agree with it's content or having to look at it.

You can like what you like of course. But part of me wants to tell you to get a grip.

I mean i like the human centipede films, I don't know why... my OH refuses to even entertain them. So I watched them on my own, and he did what the hell he wanted without further judgement other than "you're a bit nuts you are" Gotta let people like what they like to some degree, it doesn't make it a full reflection of the person they are.

But if it's working for you and your family then who am I to judge...

Not read the whole thread but this stuck out at me:
you are so sad, why can't you just let me play it

Because it's unacceptable to call your mother names. It's rude, and shows that you're not mature enough to trust.

DropYourSword Calling your mum 'sad' is name-calling? We always were sarcastic with our parents and so were they with us.

It's called humour.

E.g. any time my dad would try to attempt to tell a corny joke, me and my siblings would follow it up with:

"Ha Ha, straight to video"
or
"Oh very funny, Benny Hill"
or
"Ha ha, Live at the Apollo"

etc.

Again, it's called humour.