To give in/not give in re 16

[Paddleslowly]

Ds likes playing games on the xbox and often plays online with others. He is very into minecraft which I don't mind as it's age appropriate for him as he is twelve. He is now sulking that it's not fair because the rest of his friends from school are either playing Call of Duty, Grand theft Auto and Battlefield. And he is left out from the group players online. Most of his minecraft friends are from year 5/6.
He knows that I disagree with the first two games totally inappropriate for his age as they are 18. However I looked into the content on a demo of Battlefield which is a 16 rating. It seems to be soldiers running around a field firing at each other in the army. maybe I should let him grow up a bit more and let him play with his mates on Battlefield! Apparently I've ruined his life!! Think he is entering the Kevin and Perry stage

My 8 year old insists some of his friends play CoD and GTA, I have said there is no way he is having them, the scary bit is some of his friends actually play these games :(

There was a boy in my youngest sons class, he knew a lot of language he shouldn't, he has left now, I think his older brothers played these games, but they are primary age too.

I am apparantly very mean too, ah well

I shudder at the thought of parents letting their kids play GTA

I'm a grump who holds close to age limits on the whole. I usually consult a parents guide though and in the great scheme of things Battlefield sounds less horrific than most:
www.imdb.com/title/tt1954263/parentalguide

My friends DS started playing CoD at 9 will call him Fred,and when I said to her it's an 18 she laughed and said it was ok, I was being silly. My ds brings it up well Fred's mum lets him play it and my other friends mums let them play it you are not cool like their mums! I say I am not their mum I am your mum and you are not playing CoD.
At the moment he is showing me a sulky immature side so maybe he is not mature enough to play a 16! Just throwing it out there because I'm good cop bad cop in two minds

I play games. will admit I haven't played battlefield but I would perhaps YouTube some gameplay of it to give you an idea of it.

Yanbu in wanting to keep him playing games for his age group. My two nephews play gta and I'm horrified. They also got far cry for Christmas- they are 9 and the game is an 18. I despair!

Every game mentioned here should not be played by someone under the age of 14/15 (Bare minimum and thats a mature 14/15). I am shocked anyone would let there children play these games. Farcry, GTA and battlefield are the most mentioned and are all terrible for gore, battle, violence or sexualisation in one way or another.

Stick to your guns.....The age restrictions are there for a reason.

My 10 year old son came home from a friends house last summer begging for cod. Friends mum had let him play it at their house without consulting me!
Due to his desperate 'need' for this game my brother played the cool uncle and gave it to ds for christmas. I was livid but agreed to have a look at the game with him, how I wish I'd said no and made him take it back immediately. It is horrifically violent and uses so much foul language.
My son is allowed to play the game only if I am in the room but dd (almost 2 years) isn't, and only after school, after homework etc but before dinner.
He has had no time to play on it since that first go

I have recently seen two video clips of GTA - no one will play them in my house, I don't care how old you are. Fucking a prostitute, killing her, then retrieving the money off her body will not be 'normalised' through game play. End of.

No other first person shooting games either. I don't know a single person who has played them who isn't a bit of an arse afterwards. No thanks.

I would explain (as someone else said too) about growing neural pathways and the fact that I don't want his brain 'wired' that way. I'm not his friends Mum and so can't have any say in how they're developing. It's not that you think they'll starts shooting people or using/ killing or prostitutes, it's about the level of aggression and violence that becomes normalised.

It is also about the people he will come into contact with playing these games. I know adult gamers who have stopped playing or who will only play in closed groups because of how nasty it gets. One serious gaming MNer pretends to be a bloke due to the abuse she was getting when she was getting when she was open about being female.

If explaining to him why the answer is 'No' doesn't work then I'd say 'Find other games or find something else to do with your time. Any more whinging and the console is out of action for a week. Don't ask again because while you live here, the answer will not change and I will keep taking the console off of you'.

Being told no will make you on popular, but you lived through the toddler years, you'll live through this too, so will he.

This is what I am trying to avoid ds playing gore, battles, violence and sexualisation. It just does not sit right with me that shagging a prosititute, killing her and getting the money off her body is suitible viewing for his young mind.
I'm going to stick to my guns ChippinIn and yes will take the console off him if he keeps up the moaning poor me! I was having a wobble, he's an only and I guess I was feeling guilty. I just about got through the toddler years because it was tantrums for his next Thomas Tank Engine Set he wanted. This is a whole different ball catch and I'm not playing catch with him!

Ball game

No other first person shooting games either. I don't know a single person who has played them who isn't a bit of an arse afterwards. No thanks.

Don't clutch those pearls so tightly! I've played FPS ever since Doom in the early 90s, and I'm generally ok apart from that prison spell

I was playing Manic Miner when I was 11, and that's about as weird, scary and hallucinogenic as you can imagine. I'm still scared by flying toilets now.

The GTA i remember you could only shag, kill, and then steal money from a prostitute if you chose too.

Its not an aim of the game. You can choose to "beat up" anyone you want to, or you can choose to beat up nobody. Mostly we just drove around banging into lamposts so the police would chase us and thankfully i'm not mentally scarred.

I think if my mum had walked in on him beating up and using prostitutes she would have snapped the disc in half. But that says more about the player than the game in my opinion and as long as there are boundaries in place I wouldn't see a problem. Oh dear I think I'm a terrible a mother when it comes to age restrictions

I wouldn't let a child play grand theft auto. Having played it myself there is a 'mission' in the game where you have to torture another character for info. You are allowed to chose the method yourself, pliers, car battery, waterboarding etc.
As an adult I found it very disturbing

I've never seen the attraction of GTA; I've played a couple and it's a bit...boring. Do mission, go back and save, do mission ad infinitum. They have to pile on the sexualised controversial stuff to attract the adolescent boy market IMHO, it doesn't make for an interesting game. I'd rather play Animal Crossing or Mario Kart.

Randomnpc I agree the prostitutes is purely to be controversial. I have played gta 5 (and previous) but don't go near that Side of the game as it doesn't interest me. Like you would rather play Animal Crossing!

Check this out, It's a lot less hassle than playing the game yourself and there's plenty of detail to make your own mind up:
www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/battlefield-4

I would probably just about err on the side of caution with Battlefield but you know your son and I don't.

GTA I would say is several steps too far for a few years, as a fan of the series. If you wouldn't let them watch Scarface...

Randomnpc I agree the prostitutes is purely to be controversial
So much this, add nothing to the gameplay and every time there is a thread about my hobby it ends up being about this. Frustrating.

RandomNPC Don't clutch those pearls so tightly! I've played FPS ever since Doom in the early 90s, and I'm generally ok

That's such an over used and lame come back.

It's not 'pearl clutching' to notice a very obvious change in manner when someone has been playing violent games.

Hamiltoes. Before you tell people that 'it's fine', you might want to play the latest version, it is anything but fine, especially for children.

I've been playing XCOM and DP assures me that I'm exactly the same as usual

There is one game I know winds me up and it's anything but violent.
Blue shells...

Confirmation bias. I've never noticed that at all, I've been around gamers for thirty years. My daughters have played age appropriate games, including the Far Cry series. Are they any more aggressive afterwards? nope.
There's no evidence for your claim.

Me and my OH have played games such as GTA from being about 12. (now in our late 20s and still play the updated versions) BUT, it's very different nowadays. Back when we played it it was all pixelated and barely decipherable, now it's so graphic and x rated we wouldn't let a child of the same age play the equivalent on today's consoles.

I think you're doing right and the other parents aren't. And it's just tough for him.

Even COD and Battlefield, I'd stick to the ratings just because they are there for the reason, and again, are very graphic games (yes less fantasy, but still very violent)

By the way I wasn't suggesting the games will affect your child in any way, It may not at all, just like some full grown adults can't see between fantasy and reality when gaming, other children are probably more susceptible to it too. Nobody can really know for each individual what will influence them or not.

I feel your pain OP. I'm going through the same with my 12yr old. He's asked for many 16's and 18's as "his friends have them" and this Christmas GTA5 reared its head. Leading to a preteen mega-sulk a few days before Christmas, and heated but whispered argument in a shopping centre lift I did get a sympathetic smile from another woman though which strengthened my resolve further.

When questioned on who of his friends actually had this game -he named 2 that I had never heard of. I said has x got it? Has y got it? (naming his close friends) "No" So I said well, that's because their mums have some sense isn't it? (and prayed he'd never repeat this to any of his friends!).

But no, he's not having it, and we've explained why.

My DCs (boys and girls) are adults now but they were not allowed to play first person shooters of any kind until 15'ish (the bit in banjo Kazooie where banjo shoots eggs at other characters was about as violent as it got). Amazingly they have all grown up fine too! Not being exposed to violent games hasn't harmed them at all.
Even now they don't ever play GTA I've brainwashed them and although the they will play a bit of COD if they are at friends they prefer things like DOTA.