To truly hate being pregnant?!

[TheHermitCrab]

Arrrgh. Needed a rant.

38 weeks pregnant. I have hated every moment of it! but had very little reason to lol.

Never had morning sickness (Well I was queasy but nothing worth whinging about)

But the aching, pulling every muscle, general 9 months of feeling like shit. discharge (tmi!), stretch marks from my chin to my toes, waiting around for midwifes, hearing the same shit from people asking about my baby and bump..etc (I'm not a people person, can you tell)

Now I'm 38 weeks, and 4ft 11, I'm pretty much a walking bump. Getting out of bed is like a turtle stuck on its back. All arms and legs. My knees hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurts.

Strangers ask me how long I have. And people keep telling me how much I will miss my bump (no!) and the sleep (what sleep?! the 3 hours of pain I get on my side?) and how much they all loved being pregnant, I don't even like the movements, I feel invaded, haha.

They are lying to me yes? I didn't even glow. In fact I'm covered in blue veins, I look like death.

(Comments about how I should be lucky I'm pregnant at all need not be posted, I'm not looking for sympathy...etc)

I just can't wait for this little beggar to be out and then the "fun" can get started! ;)

Magicpixie, I'm sorry for any loss you might have had, but you're being ridiculous here.

I am 38 weeks with number 2 and this time round I have struggled.

Doesn't help that I am still at work full time (Last day today thank fuck!!)

I was lucky that my last pregnancy was amazing though. I felt healthy, calm, serene and generally just very peaceful.

This time I have been OK physically again (very similar to last time) but emotionally I have been grumpy, irrational, moody and at some points downright bloody miserable.

Last pregnancy I just had work whereas this time I have a 2 year old, have worked FT and we did a big house move when I was 30 weeks (6 weeks building works before hand, then the move etc..) so I have had lots of added pressure.

On the whole though I know I have been very lucky -had a bit of a scare at 20 week scan with baby (tests ruled out anything untoward) but our life could have been very different had there been something wrong with our baby.

That's ok Chunderella may not be light hearted but you aren't trying to argue or offend anyone, or berate or tell anyone off just for saying what they feel about their own situation just raise awareness for something that is regularly pushed aside.

I don't mind the debate when people are not trying to personally attack people, or argue about semantics or wording.

Its good to think of others as individuals in their own situations, not just make comparisons.

It's a very good point. xx

Not enjoying the wonders(!) of pregnancy is not the same as not appreciating that you are lucky to carry and birth a child. It is a magical time, your body does amazing things but BUT these amazing things are not generally enjoyable.

Babies should be fully cooked at 30 weeks or so. The last 10 are increasingly uncomfortable. Hopefully evolution can do something about that. And childbirth.

I hated being pregnant and it's ok to say that, in fact I'd go so far as to say it's a good thing . I had hyperemesis and SPD in my first pregnancy and developed antenatal depression- nobody helped me - midwives and consultants knew how I was feeling and just trotted out the 'you're lucky you're pregnant' line. It wasn't helpful and I thought I was a failure as a woman and a mum because I wasn't glowing and loving pregnancy. A thread like this might've helped a bit I think!

My second pregnancy wasn't anywhere near as bad, not least because by then I knew more people who were / had been pregnant and I knew the reality of it.

I couldn't love my kids any more than I do. I'd go through it all again for them in a heartbeat - to say something is difficult or annoying isn't a crime even if there is a baby involved. Parents often find sleepless nights (and days) difficult most people would deem it unreasonable to tell them 'tough, you must hate your baby just be glad you've got them', no? Most people would empathise.

tiredvommachine OH is the same, hasn't even had his first child yet and he's planning a "friend" for her. He can sod off. Hopefully the sleepless nights will put him off for a while ;)

Mammanat222 wow I can imagine that being stressful, especially with a little one to look after too! I've just finished work too and moved house recently. Although I was glad for the move, a much nicer house for the little un! Not being able to do anything wound me up. I hate watching others work while I stand there redundant lol :)

306235388

I cam't wait for the sleepless nights! Only because I'm not sleeping anyway, so having a reason to still be tinkering about at 4am sounds great to me.

But it doesn't mean I think about those whinging about night feeds and a skriking child should be "lucky they have something they are waking up for"

too right and good point :)

YANBU.

I had an easy pregnancy, very little morning sickness etc, no worries with developing baby etc. but, although I wouldn't say I hated being pregnant, indeed, there were parts of it I loved, I am not looking forward that much to going through it again one day. It was just so long, and I just got asked the same questions every single damn day, and I had heartburn near the end, couldn't sleep, couldn't walk far...ugh!

Some people love being pregnant, some don't. It will be over soon, promise!

I did it five times.

Hated each pregnancy.

The one where I had HG for 9 months straight and couldn't keep water down or lift my head was the worst. It was the worst thing ever. I couldn't even look after my other children. I didn't have HG before that pregnancy but if I did I wouldn't have had more. I did actually have a pregnancy after that as a result of the IUD failing and I did have HG but it went by 14 weeks (both girls, the others boys).

I hated all of it, except for the kicks in the 2nd trimester.

I was lucky in the sense that apart from my first my labours were all around an hour long with two pushes and no tears.

Pregnancy made me feel ill and shitty and uncomfortable. The sickness, the constant thrush, the UTI's, back pain... so glad DH has been snipped!

U2TheEdge Oh I don't envy you! I couldn't imagine having your pregnancy woes and having to look after little uns at the same time, some times I can't even be bothered to get myself in the shower! lol.

The constant thrush, that was fun. Especially when I was in triage for some other issues, and the midwife had to have a look and pulled a face and said "oooh you have really bad thrush, you need to sort that!" Lol yes, I've only been using a pessary and cream every god damn few weeks to no avail. I'm stuck with it, and you're stuck with looking at it I'm afraid! haha.

FFS, as I think someone said ^ anyone would think that those of us not having a great time are suggesting kicking a bag of puppies

Some people have wonderful pregnancies. Bully for them.

Some people do not have wonderful pregnancies. So, what, we're not allowed to say that we're not having a good time of it because there is always someone who is worse off? Fuck off. Just fuck off.

You have no idea what I or any other poster has been through ttc/miscarriages/late losses etc. and no one is saying they are not grateful to be pregnant. But bloody hell, some of us are finding that the process is not pleasant.

Ohfourfoxache

Apparently the words I used were wrong now. The vocab police came and gave me a telling off!

I'm off for a bath now. My fanny hurts :D

Now tell me that wasn't appropriate!

Oh to be able to get in a bath And yes that's another fucking reason for me to hate pregnancy

And if I'm not supposed to say that then I actually couldn't give a shiny shit couldn't even if I wanted to

There was a time where I found it hard to listen to people moan because their child would not stop talking, crawling or getting into things when I would have done anything for my child to be able to talk, crawl and walk.

At school it hurt to hear people moan about their nice fathers when I just wanted one who wasn't abusive.

We all have things that others moan about that we would give our left arm to have. That's just life and sometimes you have to walk away from conversations that hurt you.

noooooo you're not unreasonable!

I'd rather stick my head in a swamp and kiss an alligator than go through pregnancy again (though god, I love the results).

Or climb to the top of mount everest in a bikini. I'd certainly scare the Yeti off.

Or dance the Conga in the middle of a monsoon for nine months.

Anything, anything but be pregnant again.

Wishing you luck, sympathetic doctors, working bowels and a really nice bed-cushion to support the Bump for the next weeks.

In the bath now. Whether I will manage to get out unaided is the pickle!

u2theedge,agree with you. I see plenty of posts on here daily about interfering or annoying mothers. Mine died when I was 19. Was granda to all my brothers children but will sadly miss my first. I have very little idea what to do with a baby and not maternal at all so her support would have been invaluable. But that doesn't mean that I think all the posters stinging about their mums should think how lucky they are. They have their own problems.

Haha Meerka! Brilliant. And thank you :)

I had an insane craving for juice and now my stomach is killing me. I may have a little cry.

I've done it 4 times to term and never ever again, I am the worlds worst pregnant woman, just as the morning sickness (well all day can't eat anything feeling shitty sickness went) the SPD kicked in . First time I was told some backache is common in pregnancy! The other times it was crutches/wheelchair or cocodamol.

Oh and the acid reflux was horrific. And the feeling your fanny is on the floor every cough or sneeze I'd had it.

I believe I had fast, straightforward labours as compensation for the months of hell

I'm 41+1 with my third (and definitely final!) and totally fed up. Everything aches, can't sleep, can't walk properly, sciatica, heartburn. Grrr. And the waiting. My first two were pretty much on time...

Yanbu. DD nearly 2 and I can still hardly bear the idea of doing it again.

YANBU. 30 weeks with #2 here and struggling more than first time. More sickness, earlier heartburn, pelvic pain, placenta praevia, much more worry, unplanned pregnancy too so spent the first trimester feeling quite low.

Ah, it's good to rant! Can't wait to meet him though.

I've got two. I think I can muster one more as I like the final product and can possibly write off one more year for the long term gains. I say a year because EMCS / 3rd degree tears plus SPD claiming squatters rights for an additional three months mean I don't feel shot of the whole palaver for some time.

If my second had been a repeat of my first, I think I'd be totally finished off. Months of constant nausea that left me unable to eat and caused unnecessary weightless merged into undiagnosed SPD that left me pretty much housebound and in constant pain yet was still dismissed as pregnancy aches and pains. I also developed carpal tunnel so ended up waking hourly to heave my humongous body (which gained 50% of its weight in 6 months) so that I could reactivate dead limbs back through pins and needles. Oh it was bliss to have a newborn and indulge in 2 hour blocks of sleep!

Second time I did have a second trimester, and the nausea wasn't so intense and drawn out. I felt astonished for a few weeks that I could be pregnant and feel human. Then the SPD returned, but recognising what it was and getting physio and crutches helped avoid the chronic background pain, and keeping mobile helped fend off the carpal tunnel. The bit that scares me is how long it took to fuck off and stop restricting my life.

I like the kicks and bump, I just wish it was detachable!

Oh and what is it with the ruddy second trimester random insomnia???

I hate being pregnant too! On my second pregnancy and there will not be a third! I count my blessings that I've never suffered infertility issues, miscarriages or concerns about the baby's well being. However I 100% agree that whilst I am thankful I am going to have a second child, I hate the actual process of becoming a mother.

*The ONLY thing tolerable about my pregnancy is that I had a baby at the end of it.

I loathed being pregnant, and I would have wanted to have a 3rd child, but couldn't face the thought of being pregnant for a third time.*

This. I genuinely considered not having a second because of it but when DD started turning in to the amazing little character she is I knew I wanted another. Even if I had to go through pregnancy and the rubbish baby stage (yep not a fan of newborns) to get there. She's now a royal pain in the arse at times so good job I'm 16 weeks!

I have had HG since 6 weeks, pelvic girdle pain since 9, heartburn since 14 weeks and in my previous pregnancy also had carpal tunnel and unbearable leg itching. I ended up with an EMCS after 2 hours of unsuccessful pushing and 2 failed ventouse attempts. I highly recommend Omeprazole as I was glugging a bottle of Gaviscon a week despite how horrendously nauseous it made me feel. You should be able to get it free on your maternity exemption certificate and even my midwife could prescribe it never needed to see a dr. I begged for it in the recovery room because all the being sick during the c-section had left me with terrible acid stomach!

I can barely sleep already because of the PGP and implementing all my techniques used previously. I'm signed off work for another 3 weeks. I can't wait to be a mum again but OP YANBU to truly hate being pregnant.

Are we allowed to whinge about hating our jobs just because some people are unemployed?