To feel sad having seen a little girl given a dummy and a great big set of headphones thenparents sat an ate in a pub

[Bearbehind]

We were in a pub at the weekend and sat beside a couple with a 2/3 year old girl in a pushchair.

Her parents tried to get her to go to sleep by covering the buggy with a blanket and rocking it but she was wide awake. She wasn't crying or cranky, she was just babbling away to herself and didn't really want to stay in the pushchair so they put her on a seat, put a massive pair of 'beats' type headphones on her, stuck a dummy in and plugged her into an iPad.

I fully appreciate its none of my business but it just made me sad that this was such an automatic reaction with a little girl who just wanted to interact rather than a last resort.

It wouldn't make me sad.

Oh for fucks sake. They wanted to eat. Maybe they needed to talk about something serious. You don't know what they were doing the rest of the day. If the kid wasn't crying, then why worry?

Do you "interact" with your child 24/7. What are they doing now while you are on MN?

I wasn't worried, it just seemed such a shame for her.

Wouldn't make me sad either you see plenty of posts about toddlers on phones and ipads to give parents a bit of peace and quiet maybe they just needed 10 minutes to themselves without amusing a toddler

They probably just wanted to eat in peace and didn't want the child wandering all over the place annoying other diners.

Isn't it better than having a squawking and screaming toddler acting up in the pub/restaurant? If it kept her amused and happy rather than annoying everyone then I wouldn't judge them on it.

It might not have been my chosen method, but then there were no iPads or smartphones when mine were that age. Sometimes with a child that age you just have to do what works.

Yabu sorry- its a tiny snapshot of their lives.
Have a 2yo and very very rarely get the chance to have lunch out with dh, usually ds finishes before us and begins to get bored even with being included in conversations etc. Wants to get dowb and roam around, which isnt allowed. As a last resort one of us will put a cartoon on silent for him to look at while we scarf the rest of our food down :) very loved and happy kid but some times needs must!

Doesn't bother me. In circumstances where there are no other kids for her to play with and presumably limited toys/space to play with them, it seems very sensible. (Although it gives me the rage when parents don't bother to give their kids headphones.)

My friends son has autism and gets very upset at noise. He often wears ear defenders to help keep noise levels low. Maybe it was that?

You should have offered to entertain her while they were eating...

Maybe she had already eaten? Or they could see something in her that you, not being her parent couldn't see so were pre empting a tantrum or meltdown? my son babbles seconds before going to sleep. All children are different.

Ok- it's me then.

I think it was the headphones that made it seem so sad, they were enormous on her head.

Oh god!! We cant win!

I wont be able to go into a restaurant for at least a year due to hyper active toddler, my dh and I get no time to ourselves either, life is a grind, we have no family child care - zilch, I just cant imagine if we got dd to a stage where we could also sit in a restaurant for an hour and be in an adult environment we were getting looks from you op!

Do you know how much interacting I do with my DC? I am a sahm, I am with my dc 24 hours a day , solidly, 7 days a week, I have no one to hand them over too, no one. Its me and my Dh and he works. My dc get plenty of interaction from me.

You dont sound pleasant op and I hope you didnt spoil this poor families lunch with your stares.

People can't win can they. occupy their child and it's performance parenting or "such a shame about the iphones" style thread.

don't bother and let the kid run riot and of course that's not acceptable either.

just what is it you expect to be done.

FYI the famous MN crayons last about two mins with. Most kids.

Wish ipads or apps were about when mine were 3 the pub crayons and colouring sheet kept them amused for all of 5 seconds !

Oh and there's limited conversation you can have with a toddler.

hth

Xpost about the useless crayons

The ipad wouldn't bother me but I'm not keen on any sort of headphones on a children. I'm always concerned they could damage their ears. It would be great if the parents had interacted with the child and included her in the meal and conversation but I've definitely been guilty off using the TV or ipad to give me some peace.

Ds wears the most eeeenormous headphones, because he can't bear certain noises and wears them in restaurants because of the clamour. They squish his cheeks they are so big!

A dummy, an iPad, some headphones - it's not really a big deal.

x post re cant win.

and YES to useless crayons.

They have paid to go into restaurant and come prepared with a way to pacify child. why would you want pay to go for lunch when its going to be ruined with chasing child around!

Bless him Hazy, my dd had some last year and her cheeks looked soo cute being squished.

I have seen children with autism wear them, big headphones. cuts out noise.

Garfunkles colouring pack

... Happy memories

A few years ago that would have been my daughter, she has ASD and can't cope with noisy environments. My dd is now 8 and we take a ipad and/or ear defenders when we go out, we ate out yesterday and a lot of people judge that my dd's ( both on the spectrum ) are glued to a iPad or 3ds, I don't care as without doing this we would not be able to eat out. Maybe people should concentrate on their own family when eating out and not other people's? You don't know these people and I'm sure they are pretty pleased they don't know you.