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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be worried that DS may still need a pushchair at 3 years old +?

124 replies

ostrichhead · 04/01/2015 21:41

AIBU to be worried that my child may still use a pushchair when he is 3?

I feel like I am perhaps failing badly after reading a thread on the pushchair pages. DS is 2.3 now but I cannot imagine life without one.

I have just bought him a scooter, but no way could I use that for a day out yet, although a simple trip to the corner shop it is possible for. I am also trying to find one of those backpack type carriers as an alternative to get us to rely less on the buggy as part of it is probably that for me as a single mum who doesn't drive it's a darn sight easier than simply carrying shopping on my arms, plus a changing bag, plus child on reins who wants to go in different directions or stop and talk to random cats/dogs every few mins...

DS has tantrums and I don't feel he would be safe given these tantrums without the buggy atm - he thinks nothing of throwing himself on the floor and headbutting it, concrete or not, and doesn't calm down from tantrums for a good 20 minutes at the earliest. I am worried about these, though the rest of his development seems fine so just praying currently he would grow out of it soon.

Do all these people who probably look at me and think what an awful mum I am all drive or something? DS is 2.3 but in 3-4 clothing and tall so I would expect most people already think he is at least 3.

I'm starting to think perhaps my lifestyle is unfair on DS - I often spend a whole day out with him, or travel on long journeys on numerous trains/buses and it would just never happen if we didn't have a buggy but perhaps I'm doing far too much with him anyhow?

And yes, I NC for this because I didn't want to get slated under my reg name if I do...

OP posts:
sneepy · 04/01/2015 21:44

People who say they threw out the pushchair the minute their DC turned 2 are people who drive everywhere. I kept mine until DD2 was 4.5. Try not to worry about what anyone else thinks and do what works for you.

Altinkum · 04/01/2015 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cobain · 04/01/2015 21:47

I live in quite a spread out area and children are often seen in pushchairs up-to about 4 or in cars. I tried the scooter but at three DS1 would feel like a nap and fell asleep stood up.

Altinkum · 04/01/2015 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TarkaTheOtter · 04/01/2015 21:48

My dd is very nearly 3 and I'm sure there would still be occasions when we would still use a pushchair. The only reason we don't is because she has a younger brother and we have a buggy board on his pushchair she can ride when tired.
It's easy to not use a pushchair when most long journeys are done by car, I don't know many 3 yr olds who can be out all day without a rest.

JsOtherHalf · 04/01/2015 21:48

I used a pushchair regularly for DS until he was 3.5, he has no issues.

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/01/2015 21:49

I kept dd's untill she no longer wanted to go in it, she was about 3.5.
I saw no reason to make her walk if she didn't have to, and sometimes she walked anyway and I used the buggy for shopping.
I let her outgrow her dummy too.

BikeRunSki · 04/01/2015 21:49

I was still using a double buggy until a month before DS's 4th birthday (dd was 10 months).

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 04/01/2015 21:49

Seriously don't worry about it.i drive most places but would use a buggy for my 3.10yo when I feel he would be too tired to walk.three is still little.

Artandco · 04/01/2015 21:51

I stopped by 2 years. But by then ds2 was already 8 months and I couldn't have a double due to tubes/ x3 flights of stairs etc. so eldest had already be evicted and was on a buggy board at 15 months.

I'm the opposite though. We also have no car so the thought of using any buggy on public transport fills me with dread. There's no space in rush hour in London on buses or tubes with pram. So with x2 I would just hold eldest hand and sling baby.

I would usually head back home or to friends etc for nap times so would go out say 4 hrs max at a time

awfulomission · 04/01/2015 21:51

Keep the pushchair, it's fine. We walked and got buses everywhere and it was an essential bit of kit til they were around 4 iirc. If not for transport then for stuff and behaviour management. Grin

Mammanat222 · 04/01/2015 21:52

DS is 25 months and we'll still need a buggy for the foreseeable.

We don't have a car and for longer distances he just won't be able to handle it.... he isn't ready for a scooter either.

New baby due in a few weeks so he'll be on a buggy board but I'll keep his crappy buggy around until he no longer needs it.

5madthings · 04/01/2015 21:52

Madthing5 Just turned four, my.school run is two miles so we do 8-12 milea a day, normally on the bike with dd in bike seat but if walk she goes in the pushchair, we have to.be their own time, end.of.

Madthing1 was out of a pushchair by two, he walked well, didn't tantrum and I didn't.have a schoolrun! Different child, I different circumstances!

Guyropes · 04/01/2015 21:52

Yabu to worry about what other people think. Sounds like you have a great time out and about together and you make decisions based in what's best for you both.

My buggy was nicked when my youngest was under 3 so I didn't replace it... But ended up carrying her all the time. She's 8 now and climbs mountains and everything.

Do what's right for you.

ReallyTired · 04/01/2015 21:53

Ds was 4 when we got rid of the push chair (orthopaedic problems)
Dd was 3 years and 3 months. There was nothing physically wrong with her, but I didn't want to do the school run at toddler pace.

Pico2 · 04/01/2015 21:53

The only thing I'd think you might want to rethink is trying to carry a child the size if a 3 yo on your back. Why would you do that rather than a buggy?

We gradually ditched the buggy up to 3.5, though it made a brief return at 4 for a holiday that DD wouldn't have coped with without the buggy.

My DD looks about a year older than she is. On her second birthday at about 6pm a waitress told DD that she was too old for mummy to still be carrying her. You just have to develop a thick skin to people assuming your child is older than they are.

everlong · 04/01/2015 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 04/01/2015 21:54

You can pull/guide them on a scooter just by reaching down and have them stand on it - so as long as they're not so tired they can't stand you're there. I wouldn't consider a backpack for the child unless you were wanting to hike on the moors or something with them, for shopping put the groceries in the backpack!

You probably won't need a changebag remember (even if still in nappies he's likely going long enough in between changes you'll only need 1 spare in the top of the backpack and a few wipes) They're easier to rationalise with/bribe and understand how far you are way from home/supermarket/etc.

At 2.3 it would've been really hard to do without a buggy, at 3.5 it's completely unnecessary, even if DD does end up on shoulders, or pulled along on the scooter when we've been out for a bit.

LtGreggs · 04/01/2015 21:54

Totally depends on lifestyle - can't remember with DS1 but DS2 was definitely still using sometimes at 3.5 and beyond - eg if needed to do school run on foot in bit of a rush and he was tired (he would still nap sometimes up until 4ish). Pushchairs are ace for carrying shopping etc and providing an option for resting while out & about - I think only realistic to give up early if you drive door-to-door and/or have a strong back!

Get one with a push bar (not handles) so you can push with one hand and should should be fine with DC on reins beside for part of the trip. By 3+ you'll likely be fine without the reins too (depending on child and environment)

Gawjushun · 04/01/2015 21:55

I don't drive, so a pushchair is essential, for many reasons.

  • It's a 20 minute walk to town, a 30 minute walk to the train station, there's no way a nearly 3 year old would manage that kind of roundtrip, as well as being on his feet all day.
- He only has little legs, so it can be a glacial pace trying to take him anywhere.
  • If we get a bus or go on the train, then a pushchair keeps him much safer, as there's no people knocking into him while trying to get onboard.
  • If he needs a nap, or just gets tired and grouchy, then he can sit in his pushchair and read a book or snuggle up.
  • The basket is very handy for all the crap you have to lug around with toddlers.

So, I'm not giving my pushchair up for a while! I can't say I've had any stares or comments, even though he's a tall boy and looks older than his age, but yeah it's easy to feel guilty when you think that everyone else is doing stuff a different way.

Fairylea · 04/01/2015 21:56

Honestly don't worry about it. You'll be judged on every single thing you do as a parent right up until they are 18, if the pushchair works for you and for him go for it. We live in a rural village and it I'm going to get anywhere by next christmas I need to use a buggy. Ds is 2.6 and will walk to the shops (20 mins walk and run around the park when there) but if I need to go to tesco and then walk home the only way I can do it is to use the buggy and I imagine we will be doing so for a very long time yet!

As a side note, the out n about nipper is an amazing buggy for an older toddler. So robust and lightweight and so much room. I love it.

RandomMess · 04/01/2015 21:58

Completely depends on lifestyle!

I did judge the mum I knew that let her DD use the pushchair from her car to the playground everyday through reception - about 40 metres. No physical disability and child would race around the playground etc. etc. She used to tell me her dc were so lazy and refused to walk!

TBH it was a combination of the mum wanting to be friends with her dc (her words) and I suspect mild ASD traits in her dd (her older ds and dh diagnosed) therefore she avoided conflict with the dc.

ILovedYouYesterday · 04/01/2015 21:58

I used mine for DD until she was about 4. I didn't care if anyone judged me. It was easier to do my shopping without her running around! We also went to places where she could run about often enough so it wasn't like she never got to. I really missed my pushchair when I finally ditched it. It was so useful for putting everything in, I seriously considered a shopping trolley to replace it but eventually got used to just carrying stuff again!

Do what suits you best, I say!

BMO · 04/01/2015 21:59

You have 9 months before your DS is 3, why are you fretting now?

I used a sling until DS1 was just over 3 with no problems, it was often easier than taking a buggy.

By 3 most children are pretty good at scooting.

TerrifiedMothertobe · 04/01/2015 21:59

We have a 3.4 old and 13 month old. The 3 year old has to walk everywhere, but gets very tired and it takes forever to get anywhere. We drive as we live in a village but go on lots and lots of walks.

The most ours can do is 3miles ish but that's a day out. Most days he moans about walking half a mile to the swings!

Don't worry, give it up when it's time.