AIBU to be worried that DS may still need a pushchair at 3 years old +?

[ostrichhead]

AIBU to be worried that my child may still use a pushchair when he is 3?

I feel like I am perhaps failing badly after reading a thread on the pushchair pages. DS is 2.3 now but I cannot imagine life without one.

I have just bought him a scooter, but no way could I use that for a day out yet, although a simple trip to the corner shop it is possible for. I am also trying to find one of those backpack type carriers as an alternative to get us to rely less on the buggy as part of it is probably that for me as a single mum who doesn't drive it's a darn sight easier than simply carrying shopping on my arms, plus a changing bag, plus child on reins who wants to go in different directions or stop and talk to random cats/dogs every few mins...

DS has tantrums and I don't feel he would be safe given these tantrums without the buggy atm - he thinks nothing of throwing himself on the floor and headbutting it, concrete or not, and doesn't calm down from tantrums for a good 20 minutes at the earliest. I am worried about these, though the rest of his development seems fine so just praying currently he would grow out of it soon.

Do all these people who probably look at me and think what an awful mum I am all drive or something? DS is 2.3 but in 3-4 clothing and tall so I would expect most people already think he is at least 3.

I'm starting to think perhaps my lifestyle is unfair on DS - I often spend a whole day out with him, or travel on long journeys on numerous trains/buses and it would just never happen if we didn't have a buggy but perhaps I'm doing far too much with him anyhow?

And yes, I NC for this because I didn't want to get slated under my reg name if I do...

I didn't drive and we had no car when dd1 and dd2 were little.
Dd1 used the pushchair right the way up to when she went to school, and she was a winter baby too.
Dd2 hardly used the pushchair-she was using the buggy board at 1yo, with dd1 in the buggy-they both preferred that.
Ds used the buggy until he went to school too, but generally only for the school run in the last year.

If we were going long distances it was much better for her to be able to sit down. It's all very well letting them walk the 10 minutes to the park under no time pressure. It's a whole other ball game letting them walk when you're going 2 miles walk there and 2 miles walk back in the evening when they're tired. It's also different when you have to be at a certain place for a certain time. Or when you're walking along a busy road with thin pavements.
Ds would have loved to walk on the school run. But it was 10 minutes walk (my pace) to the first school, then another 5 minutes to the next school, 15-20 minutes of waiting then 45 minutes back.
At his pace it would be about double that, assuming he was cooperative, and didn't find an ant to sit down and watch, a dog going in the opposite direction to follow, or a car with particularly interesting wheels....
It was also along a busy road and the place for waiting was nowhere where they could run around. He also used to need a doze about that time, so the buggy was an ideal place to do it in.

And I would say that a certain number of the "don't use a buggy after 2yo" are pfb and they just end up carrying them instead.

That was 30-35 minutes to the next school, not 5!

DD1 had a pushchair occasionally until close to her 4th birthday, DS's and DD2 refused to get in theirs at 2yo. Honestly it's not an issue, each child is different
Maybe look at a smart trike or similar if you're really worried, he can peddle it along himself and use it as a normal trike without the handle.

DC1 was out of the buggy by 2 - and back in it as soon as Dc2 was born and I needed to get somewhere in a hurry to feed/change nappy!

DC2 is perfectly able and willing to walk but at nearly 3, there's still no way I'm getting rid of the buggy whilst he still has a midday nap. The thought of trying to fit in everything I need to do between 9.15 and 11.30, or 2.00 and 3.15 does not appeal. He has a morning swimming lesson, will get there fine but afterwards will climb straight into the buggy and go to sleep. I'm not going to try to carry him home on two buses and am certainly not going to do so for fear of what someone else might think.

Holy crap there's some judging going on on the pushchair board! What a bunch of arseholes. If a buggy works for you and DS then use a buggy. I for one will not be judging you (and will also have my DS in a buggy as other wise we wouldn't get past the end of the drive).

Heh, i just remembered something.
When DS was just a little over 2, I decided that we would ditch the buggy and walk. We went on a day out with friends, with slightly older children. I had either massively overestimated DS's ability or massively underestimated the distances involved but either way, DS was not enjoying himself.
We went to browse in a charity shop and they had a buggy there. DS simply climbed in and refused to get out. I bought the buggy of course! DS slept in it pretty much the whole rest of the afternoon. Poor kid. We've still got that buggy at home!

my 4yo still uses a buggy on the school run and I don't give a shiny shit what anyone thinks.

we walk a mile to school in the AM, and I am not allowing 45 mins on the offchance that she decides that she wants to go slowly or stop 57 million times to look at the geese or has a screaming fit because I've brought the wrong sort of tissues with me. she walks on the way back, but that's far more pleasant as we can go at her pace, walk on walls etc. She'll be fine walking when she starts school in September, as she'll only have to walk there, and then home at the end of the day, instead of 4x trips.

a few people I know have raised eyebrows, but they are the people who drive their school aged kids half that distance .

I booted my eldest out of the buggy at 3.5, but we had no school run to do then, and I needed the buggy for her sister.

My ds 1 is 2.8 and I just spent loads on a double buggy for him and newborn. We don't drive, I can't carry ds1 any distance, let alone with ds2 as well. I think that as long as you let him build up his walking ability slowly, there's nothing wrong with it.

I wouldn't give it a second thought OP. Just carry on using the pushchair for as long as is convenient for you and your child. The things that people judge on MN are generally things that no-one gives any thought to in real life.

My daughter will be 3 soon and we will likely still be using the buggy. I have no choice as she still likes to run away from me. Until she starts behaving she be stuck in that buggy.

I have a 19 month old and she will be very nearly 2 when DC2 arrives. We're investing in a double pushchair as I don't drive and I walk everywhere. I'm pretty sure she'll still be in it when she's 3. We can go out for hours at a time so I really can't see her managing without being in one. If she wants to have a rest or a nap then she can - I don't have a car she can fall asleep in to and from places.

DS is 3 1/2 and can walk a fair way but sometimes refuses to, esp if tired. We still use the buggy for longer day trips, lots of walking, going into town etc. i find DS way to heavy to carry, esp if lugging bags around too.
i am pregnant and due a few weeks before DS' 4th birthday. We are already planting the seed that big brothers walk and tiny babies will go in the buggy from then.

I threw all my kids out the buggy at 2.5 and we walked everywhere! So not everyone who does that drives.

Then I had my youngest. He didn't even walk till he was nearly 2, so there was no way he would be out of a buggy at 2.5. He was still in it till the term before he started school.
I gradually increased the days he walked everywhere so that he's be used to it by the time he was in Reception. And he had tantrums too, mainly if he was tired which was another reason to keep him in the buggy as he wouldn't get so tired.

Keep him in it for as long as he needs it.

Dashoflime... Great story! Kids are fab, aren't they!

Thanks Guyropes
We could have got away without paying as well. When I got to the counter the man said he saw DS in the pram and just assumed it was ours and we'd come in with it!
Maybe we should try that somewhere more upmarket

Bit of a milestone today. We did the long journey to playgroup by walking and bus. I'm heavily pregnant and couldn't face bouncing the buggy down a flight of stairs.
I think this might really be the end for DS.

Dd1 is 4.5 and climbed into the buggy at the weekend when DD2 (2) insisted on walking from the end of the road. We spent the next 400 yrds with DD2 insisting it was "My buggy" and trying to climb back in. Tedious. I still have days when I wish I'd just bought a P&T when DD2 was born and had done with it.
DD1 "walked everywhere" from 2.5, at snails pace (the nanny) who took the bus at every opportunity but insisted she didn't want a double inline buggy and I was damned if I was buying a side by side model as our main pram that wouldn't get through the front door.
All was mostly fine until DD1 started nursery 1.5 miles away and started to regularly crash out on her way home at 3.30pm. Tall child - 95% for height and weight. Totally screwed up the nanny's back.

Ignore the folk who say otherwise. They've all had days where they wished they brought a pram with them for their older child. Or they are pilates mad sling wearers with a core of steel and children who weigh a proverbial feather.

Life is waaay too short to be stuck at the side of the road with a fast asleep pre-schooler that you can't physically carry.

I love the story from dash.

My twins are 3.6 and can manage short 10/20 minute walks but no way into town, around town and home again so they go in the buggy and get out when they want.

I have told them they're not going to be goin to school in it though!

I am a non car driver so walk everywhere, my ds nearly 3 still has his pushchair, mainly it is used for shopping when we are out, but when he is tired or ratty, or being a little monster, in he goes. Yes he is nearly 3, but he is still only little. Don't worry it will be gone by the time he goes to school though

I love the stories about hiding the buggy in the bushes by the nursery and the the charity shop emergency purchase!

Remember OP, when posters say that it's "completely unnecessary" for a toddler or preschooler to use a pushchair, what they mean is that it was / is completely unnecessary for them in their circumstances. Unfortunately MN seems to have a high proportion of users who are unable to comprehend that other people's lives are different than theirs.

DS regularly rode in our double pushchair with his little sister until well after 3. He still goes it very occasionally at 4.2. We live in the US, in a sprawling, car-dependent city and I don't drive. Because no one walks anywhere the sidewalks are poorly maintained or non-existent so walking isn't always safe and scooting would be impossible. Public transport is rubbish. The weather can be extreme with highs of 40 degrees in the summer and lows of -12 in winter.

The only people who's judgement I would possibly give a toss about are those who live in exactly the same circumstances as us. I'm pretty sure that doesn't include any of the posters who are being dicks on the pushchair thread.

We used ours until around age 4.5 because we live up a very long hill and often would be out all day, with shopping to carry. I'd have been mad to try and carry it all. We never use the car so dc are used to walking miles. I don't think the use of a buggy at age 4 has harmed them in any way.