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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be worried that DS may still need a pushchair at 3 years old +?

124 replies

ostrichhead · 04/01/2015 21:41

AIBU to be worried that my child may still use a pushchair when he is 3?

I feel like I am perhaps failing badly after reading a thread on the pushchair pages. DS is 2.3 now but I cannot imagine life without one.

I have just bought him a scooter, but no way could I use that for a day out yet, although a simple trip to the corner shop it is possible for. I am also trying to find one of those backpack type carriers as an alternative to get us to rely less on the buggy as part of it is probably that for me as a single mum who doesn't drive it's a darn sight easier than simply carrying shopping on my arms, plus a changing bag, plus child on reins who wants to go in different directions or stop and talk to random cats/dogs every few mins...

DS has tantrums and I don't feel he would be safe given these tantrums without the buggy atm - he thinks nothing of throwing himself on the floor and headbutting it, concrete or not, and doesn't calm down from tantrums for a good 20 minutes at the earliest. I am worried about these, though the rest of his development seems fine so just praying currently he would grow out of it soon.

Do all these people who probably look at me and think what an awful mum I am all drive or something? DS is 2.3 but in 3-4 clothing and tall so I would expect most people already think he is at least 3.

I'm starting to think perhaps my lifestyle is unfair on DS - I often spend a whole day out with him, or travel on long journeys on numerous trains/buses and it would just never happen if we didn't have a buggy but perhaps I'm doing far too much with him anyhow?

And yes, I NC for this because I didn't want to get slated under my reg name if I do...

OP posts:
DeathMetalMum · 05/01/2015 06:51

If you need the buggy use it, don't worry about it.

I will say things might change quicker than you think. At 2.3 dd1 was in a double buggy didn't walk at all, fast forward 6 months and she used a buggy board on longer journeys or when in a rush. Fast forward another 6 months and we dumped the buggy board (on the last day of our holiday). She is almost 4 and walks miles each day without any complaints has done quite happily since September (3.6 ish) she just got her first scooter for Christmas and currently walks quicker than she scoots! Dd2 will be in the buggy a little longer I think as we will have the school run to contend with - four miles a day when she starts pre-school, and she's a bolter.

HappyAsASandboy · 05/01/2015 07:13

Do people really worry about what strangers think of their buggy habits? I am too busy getting on with my own life to worry about how other people choose to get their kids around town, and tbh if rather any distributive kids were strapped in than running free!

I have just had DC3. When I go out for a long day on my own with all three children, I fully intend on taking my tandem double with a buggy board so that I know I can load all three DC (aged 4, 4 and newborn) onto the pushchair if I need to. There are some situations (crowds, rain, wandered too far from the car park, tired children ....) where I can't imagine how I could safely move all three DC without a pushchair, so I will take a pushchair and not give a thought to what others think of it.

westcountrywoman · 05/01/2015 07:16

DS is 3.3. He walks if we're popping to the shops or nipping into town for an hour or so but I do still take a pushchair for longer trips to town / day trips. That doesn't mean he sits in it all the time, but he can have a rest if needed.

TraceyTrickster · 05/01/2015 07:17

no issues with my child, but we used it on weekends until she was 5....she used to be so exhausted at the weekend, she would nap in it and it meant we could still go out and about. When she was awake, we used it as a bag carrier.

I never even thought if people would judge me but if it works for you....

toptomatoes · 05/01/2015 07:25

We swapped to a buggy board between 2.5 and 3 for the oldest 2 children as we walk everywhere and they needed a rest sometimes. DC3 is not yet 2,I'm hoping to get her walking the school run so we can ditch the pram next September but I won't worry if she is still in the pram. many people who ditch the pram by 2 use the car a lot, only have one child and therefore can carry them if needed and don't have school runs and pre school runs to contend with. A 3 year old using a buggy is certainly not unusual, I see plenty at school hopping in and out.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 05/01/2015 07:31

I still used my pushchair with dd after she turned 3. Not as much but it helped with long journeys and the underground. If anyone has visited the science museum you'll know about the long journey from tube to actually getting out the station! I don't drive myself and it was a life saver. She is nearly 4 and I would probably use it on the rare occasion say she was unwell and we had to go somewhere and walking wouldn't be an option. Just try short walks for now

meglet · 05/01/2015 07:31

We used the buggy until 4.5yrs. We tend to walk everywhere.

MinionDave · 05/01/2015 07:34

My DS stopped using his at about 2 1/2 but he was an easy going child who wouldn't really run away.

DD on the other hand was a total nightmare with tantrums and running off, so it was far easier to keep hers until she was about 4! It's whatever best for the child really, don't worry about what other people think Smile

Christmasbargainshopper · 05/01/2015 07:39

My eldest is 3.4 and a great walker. However, if he needs a nap or just wants to, I'm more than happy for him to go in either the double buggy or take a turn in the maclaren.

Yesterday, we went a 2.5 hour walk. He fell asleep in the buggy on the way home. Much easier than carrying him!

NobodyLivesHere · 05/01/2015 07:41

When my youngest dc was 18 months she walked everywhere Inc the 2 mile school run twice a day, and her 4 yo brother went in the buggy. Bugger people.

dragdownthemoon · 05/01/2015 07:42

I once pushed my DS home from school, in his uniform, in a buggy while his 2 ?r old sister walked beside him. You've not seen judgemental looks until you have pushed a 5 year old in a buggy :D

Do what makes your life easiest. Sod everyone else, they are not living your life and raising your kids.

SugarplumKate · 05/01/2015 07:45

The people who have ditched a pushchair before 3 must drive a lot I think. I have 4 children and still used the pushchair sometimes until 4. My youngest is 4 in Feb, obviously I wouldn't use a pushchair to drive to the shops, we didn't take it fr a day out in London recently (because DH has there to carry him on his shoulders if he was tired) but I am certainly takin it on the school run this week. No way can he walk a mile both ways twice a day, so 4 miles a day.

hauntedhenry · 05/01/2015 07:53

Do what's best for you. DS2 needed his naps so we often needed to use a pushchair, DS1 didn't so he was out of it earlier. It never crossed my mind that anyone else would care, and I don't think they did.

Rosa · 05/01/2015 07:57

If you need it use it and ignore any comments ...

dashoflime · 05/01/2015 07:59

At 2.3, DS was mostly in a buggy. He is 2.6 now and reliably walking on short journeys- I.e: within a few streets of our house. We go to a playgroup about 20 mins walk away and he's in the buggy for that.

JoandMax · 05/01/2015 08:04

I didn't drive but stopped with DS1 by the time he was 2 - he had so much energy he could (and still can!!) walk and walk and walk! Plus he was brilliant at holding hands, never bolted etc so it was easy to not use one. He'd also stopped napping by 2 aswell so didn't need it for sleeping. My double pushchair was a complete waste of money as we only used it about 5 times...

DS2 was in it a lot more, different child, different temperament. He loved to sit calmly and watch the world go by as we walked. He also napped til he was a lot older so it was useful for that.

I've never judged anyone else and would hope they didn't with me!

lambsie · 05/01/2015 08:07

Ds is still in a buggy at 8. We recently bought a lovely all terrain buggy so we can get out more into the countryside which he loves. We do whatever is best for him and our family.

RandomMess, perhaps you should think about how difficult it might be to manage one child who has asd and another who may have it.

Branleuse · 05/01/2015 08:11

if you dont drive, then just keep the pushchair and fuck what anyone else thinks.
Otherwise you're kept prisoner by slooooow walking children and cant get anywhere, plus have nowhere to put your things.

i think 4 is a more realistic age if you dont drive

BeeInYourBonnet · 05/01/2015 08:32

Don't worry about it OP.
My DD never went in pushchair after 2.5yo as DS arrived and I hate the inconvenience of a double buggy round shops plus lots of steps up to house. Our activities (especially shopping!) were seriously curtailed once she was 'on the loose' and generally uncontrollable!

DS was also in buggy til 2.5yo. I was looking forward to being able to use buggy for longer but he took a massive dislike to it. Would tantrum if put in it, needed to be almost karate-chopped to get him in, and managed to work out how to release himself [sigh] . I missed the buggy sooooo much. Carrying change bags, coats and shopping whilst trying to hold hands with a 2.5yo & 5yo is not fun.

Ignore the haters OP. They are probably just jealous.

MrsKoala · 05/01/2015 08:45

ds1 is 2.4 and i am no where near even contemplating giving up the buggy. I would happily have it as long as possible.

i have also got a 4mo, so would need to push him and drag ds1 along at the same time. he cannot behave in shops at all and grabs everything off the shelves - shopping would be impossible. DH walked him to the shops the other day and ended up carrying him all the way home due to a tantrum. i just couldn't do it, and i feel no shame in that.

ZanyMobster · 05/01/2015 08:54

3 is still really little so I really wouldn't worry. It also depends so much on the child.

When DS1 was 2.5 and DS2 5 months we went to Disney and only took a stroller for DS2, DS1 walked round for 5 days with the occasional carry on shoulders.

When DS2 was 4.2 we went to Disney and took the stroller for him, we also had 3 6YOs with us, DS1 was the only child who didn't use the buggy.

If you walk lots then there is no way most 3 YOs would walk for miles without moaning or being tired so it's got to be whatever is good for you.

ZanyMobster · 05/01/2015 08:56

I should also add that DS2 wasn't in a buggy permantly at 4.2 as we have a car and never did lots of walknig but I would have considered it if I was walking 4 or 5 miles into town then back.

MuddlingMackem · 05/01/2015 08:58

OP, only just read the first part of your post and seen that you're a single parent who doesn't drive. Just use the pushchair as long as you need to and if anyone gives you grief for it as they're buckling their kids into their carseats, just point out that it's your car.

My DC1 was in the tandem with DC2 until he was 3 1/2, and he would have been in longer but I couldn't push the combined weight beyond that. He was a bolter so needed to be restrained! DC2 ditched the pushchair a couple of months before turning four (September birthday and was starting school nursery which was round the corner from home). We didn't get a car as a family until DC2 was one and a half, and even when we did DH used it for work, so the pushchairs were very much my car. :)

KitCat26 · 05/01/2015 09:05

DD2 still uses the buggy occasionally, she'll be 4 this month. She does look a bit big for it now (same buggy as you OP) I use it when we go to town to the doctors- no near parking, or if either of the DC are ill and I need to do the school run for the other child. We'll keep the buggy in the garage until DD2 is 5, then get shot of it.

If we're walking and DD2 has a tantrum (about not wanting to walk) I usually resort to bribery or a piggy back. DD1 has always been an excellent walker, DD2 has always been a reluctant one.

TheFriar · 05/01/2015 09:12

You don't need any justifications. You child, your way of doing things.

I did ditch the pushchair ASAP because I have a car so walking was always a short trip. Never a supermarket one with all the bags ect. In your position I round have kept it.
And fir days out, I had a sling that I used until dc2 was over 4yo ..... IMO not different than a pushchair, just less bulky Wink