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AIBU?

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Original poster

G/Children sleepover at granny's house

719 replies

Zabelithe · 04/01/2015 20:00

I'd be interested to hear at what age most of you mums let your DD and DS sleep at granny's house. I ask because our GD who is 4 and a half has still not been allowed to stay at ours despite the fact we have looked after her during the day while mum was working.

OP posts:
Notso · 04/01/2015 20:12

Mine all have before 1. Although DH and I were ready to leave them and GP's happy to have them.
BIL and his wife won't leave DN 18 months overnight yet and PIL are quite rightly not pressuring them to just giving me a load of earache about it

BMO · 04/01/2015 20:12

They've never stayed at PILs without us though.

PicaK · 04/01/2015 20:13

"Not been allowed".. this phrase is really annoying. Looking after kids in the day can be a whole different experience to looking after them at night - they can be clingy, bad sleepers. Why are you making this such an issue? Why are you pushing the parents to do something that they're either not comfortable with or know might distress their child? This is all about you and not the dgc. Please don't push.

diddl · 04/01/2015 20:14

"Serious question how do people whose answer is never have second children? Did you all have home births?"

Ils came to our house to look after PFB.

OP, perhaps they don't want to or the children don't?

was it a thing that your kids did or the the other parent did?

For my husband & I it just wasn't a thing that happened so it never really occurred to us & no GPs were clamouring for it either.

strawberryshoes · 04/01/2015 20:14

DD1 is 4 and it has not happened yet.

She does not sleep through consistently though, and when I asked her, she said she did not want to, so it wont be happening until she wants to.

MIL would LOVE it, and does often (every time she comes over) talk about when she is older and she can stay for a week or so in the summer holidays and how we can leave her with them so we can go on holiday etc.

StetsonsAreCool · 04/01/2015 20:15

Dd was about 16mo wen she had her first sleepover with my parents. They took her on holiday for a week when she was about 22mo, so we started practicing a few months before.

From about 2.6yo until she started school this September she went for weekly Monday night sleepovers at PIL's house, as it saved them driving out in dangerous icy lanes in the winter (and we just continued the arrangement during the summer months as it worked so well for everyone, including DD).

It worked for us/her, but that's not to say the same arrangements would work for all parents/children.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 04/01/2015 20:15

Serious question how do people whose answer is never have second children? Did you all have home births?

Nope. My parents stayed at our house with DS.

diddl · 04/01/2015 20:15

OP, have you asked & been refused, then/

rookiemere · 04/01/2015 20:15

DS was 10 weeks Blush - it was our anniversary and I was desperate for a nights sleep.

fishybits · 04/01/2015 20:16

DD went to stay with my parents for a week when she was 2.5 so that DH and I could go away for holiday.

DD had a whale of a time and so did we. Wink

lightgreenglass · 04/01/2015 20:17

DS was 3.5 months when he first slept over without me and DH.

Depends on so many factors - I trust my father unequivocally and he was ok with doing night waking a - expressed and left bottles behind for him. They both enjoyed it. What's your relationship like with mum and dad?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 04/01/2015 20:17

I really can't remember. They do sleep over but it's rare. And that's mostly to do with the distance. I don't drive and neither does Mum and I wouldn't expect her to trek back over mine with them on the buses.

Actually I could leave them there, they have a great time when they have stayed over and don't want to come home Grin

IdontusuallyNC · 04/01/2015 20:17

Some never do, some families just don't do that.

BonnieWeeJeannieMcCall · 04/01/2015 20:19

As soon as I knew I was pregnant with DC2, so when DC1 was 18 months. I didn't want his first experience of spending a night apart from me to be tied into getting a sibling. (GPs stayed at ours when DC2 was born, but the sleepovers at GPs were to make that easier.)

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 04/01/2015 20:19

Ds1 was about 18 months, ds2 was 12 months. My mum is great with the dses and looks after them in the holidays while I work. They have to stay over because my mum lives 2 hours away.

My dses still love going to Grandma's and have a great relationship with her and their Grandad. They are 10 and 12 now.

Only1scoop · 04/01/2015 20:19

Blimey I'd love dd to have a Gp like you!! Mine have never offered and she's 4.5....

Pasithea · 04/01/2015 20:20

We are not even allowed husbands grandchildren during day. God end of the world. Although dil mum has them to stay regularly but they used to live there.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 04/01/2015 20:21

When ds1 was 7 and ds2 was 5. Ds1 didn't want to go without ds2 and ds2 can be a pita at bedtime so we didn't want to put GP's through that! Ds2 is fine if GP's babysit here.

It was a disaster! No one got a lot of sleep. We tried again about 3 months ago and it was much better.

sunnyfrostyday · 04/01/2015 20:21

Never at PIL's (they live several hours away, and we are always there too), although they have stayed at ours a few times when we have been away over night.

At my Mum's - probably when they were 7 & 4.? Never had a reason for them to stay before.

We're not big on sleepovers generally.

DillyDallyDaydreamer · 04/01/2015 20:22

I'm not lucky enough for anyone to offer! But when they sleep through I guess although I could really do with someone taking my almost one yo whose never slept !

Murphy29 · 04/01/2015 20:24

Don't worry rookie - DS was 8 weeks when stayed with my parents (and had been in SCBU for 2 weeks) and 10 weeks with PIL Blush Although we have a room at PIL so after our night out we stayed there but let them get up during the night and put DS crib in their room!

Both sets of GPs love him and love having some time with him to themselves and whilst we love him more than anything it is nice to get a night to ourselves but I do feel like a bad Mum now after reading the thread Blush

SanityClause · 04/01/2015 20:24

My DC (15, 13 and 10) have stayed overnight with my parents once, as they are in Australia, and we have only visited once in their lifetimes. (DH and I went to a winery with a restaurant, hotel and spa attached, and had a lovely night away.)

They have never stayed with PIL. AFAIK, they have never been invited. I have suggested they might like to, but they have never been keen on the idea.

I do feel sad for them that they will never have the lovely close relationship with their DGP that I had with mine.

Grannyknickers · 04/01/2015 20:24

My daughters baby stays one night at the weekend, and has since 3 weeks old. My DD comes up, spends the day with me shopping, etc, leaves us with the baby about tea time and pick up is any time the next day, if she's went out with friends about 6pm, or lunchtime if she's up and organised. It's nice for her to have a rest, I snapchat and FaceTime randomly so she's happy.

FamiliesShareGerms · 04/01/2015 20:25

Can't remember - about two for both DC I think

Grandparents (or other relatives) really aren't a threat to your status as parent unless they are in fact bringing up your DC

batgirl1984 · 04/01/2015 20:25

Mine never have. My younger child was born very quickly in the morning, so I was home in time for tea. Grandparents would have come to babysit at mine rather than child sleeping away from home though - my husband would have come home at night to relieve them!
I was never left with my Grandparents til covering the school holidays became difficult for my parents (i was 7 or 8, my brother 9 or 10). So the idea that kids need time at their grandparents away from their parents is one that I find odd. I thought it was something grandparents do out of love for their own children, to make their life easier rather than a necessary element of the grandparent / grandchild relationship.

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