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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

G/Children sleepover at granny's house

719 replies

Zabelithe · 04/01/2015 20:00

I'd be interested to hear at what age most of you mums let your DD and DS sleep at granny's house. I ask because our GD who is 4 and a half has still not been allowed to stay at ours despite the fact we have looked after her during the day while mum was working.

OP posts:
slithytove · 11/01/2015 18:06

Starlight, my kids are under 2, pil live 4 hours away my parents live 24 hours away.

How on earth can I do sleepovers?

In addition, I couldn't give a shit who does, where did you get that impression?

Don't you get that allowing a sleepover isn't the same as allowing a relationship? You can have a great relationship without sleepovers.

slithytove · 11/01/2015 18:10

Im defensive cos I'm getting criticism and assumptions that cos my kids don't sleep over at gp that they have no relationship or I'm controlling or don't trust them.

It's frustrating cos I have several good reasons and I think it's an unusual person who would send a 21 month old and a bf 4 month old 4 hours away to another country for a sodding sleepover.

But of course it's easier to criticise and be hurtful then understand different circumstances and nuance. God forbid my kids and their gp have a great relationship despite not having overnights without us there.

And not in a single fucking post have I even hinted that sleepovers are bad. For all you know I'd love gp to live down the road so I could get a fucking break once in awhile.

mytimewillcome · 11/01/2015 18:53

I think the reason that a lot of people have got defensive here is a certain poster has made people defensive with her constant stream of posts that maintains that only her point of view is correct. The reality is that everyone is different and everyone parents differently. I can't understand why young children should go on sleepovers and I can't understand why grandparents can dictate to me what my children should do. Equally those who have 'allowed' their children to go on sleepovers at a very young don't understand why I won't do the same. We're all different.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 11/01/2015 19:00

Mine never have. My parents are dead and DH's live in a different country.

Pengyquin · 11/01/2015 19:33

It's odd, because you can do all of those 'bonding' type things during the day!!

Why the need to have them overnight? Lovely if your son/daughter wants you to, and lovely if you volunteer and they say yes. But frankly, needy gps's who make out like they can't have a proper relationship because the gc's don't stay overnight..yes, it's odd.

They've had their kids! Their turn!

Frankly, if my parents kept going on at me (which they don't), it would make me even more determined not to send the kids. Personally, I don't relax until the kids are safe in their own beds, with me very close by.

If that pisses off the gps, tough!

NotEntirelyWhelmed · 11/01/2015 19:38

My grandparents were old people who smelled funny. That was a description of actual events from my past and can't rationally be described as ageism. I'm sure all other grandparents smell of sunshine and wholesome baked goods and good intentions.

drudgetrudy · 11/01/2015 20:37

Fair play then NotEntirely if its a factual description and you aren't generalising from your own experience. Although you do go on to say that all grandparents are over-rated, or at least over-rate themselves.
I'm sorry you have been so unfortunate in your family members.
My grandparents were elderly but smelled fine and gave me a nice quality of attention which my parents were often a bit busy to offer.
I expect we are all influenced by our own experience.
I agree that all this is entirely up to the parents. I am perfectly aware that not all grandparents are benign but you do really seem to have it in for any adult who has a relationship with their parents where mutual support is offered.

Dukketeater · 11/01/2015 20:45

About 10 weeks old x

Wherehasmysleepgone · 11/01/2015 21:23

Pengy - my situation is different then to the one your referring to as odd as my parents don't need or pester me to see ds! They certainly don't feel there would be no relationship there.

I hadn't read the whole thread so was unsure what was being described as odd. Smile

Babashka · 12/01/2015 11:09

I haven't read the whole thread, too many posts, but it seems to me a mountain has been made out of a molehill. To me the grandmother was asking a simple question, at what age do some let their children sleep at grandmothers - she is not allowed but nowhere do I see her making a fuss that she's not.

gobbynorthernbird · 12/01/2015 12:00

Babashka, RTFT

Babashka · 12/01/2015 12:14

RTFT ?

NotEntirelyWhelmed · 12/01/2015 12:37

Read The Fucking Thread?

Babashka · 12/01/2015 13:59

I wonder why people feel the need to use obnoxious language. It belittles them.

I wont be reading the whole thread too many posts.

Suffice to say I still think posters are getting their knickers in a twist.

Hakluyt · 12/01/2015 15:06

There has been some very obnoxious language on this thread......

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 12/01/2015 16:48

and views

DemelzaandRoss · 12/01/2015 18:10

Quite agree Babashka.

DemelzaandRoss · 12/01/2015 18:13

I actually enjoy going out with my husband. So my children have stayed over at their GP house since they were babies. This means we can also enjoy a lie in. Great!!

Pengyquin · 12/01/2015 20:47

I think it was the OP's choice of language - 'allowed to stay' (ie implying that the DIL is making the decisions and specifically won't allow them for whatever reason, one that the MIL is hoping is age related)

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