G/Children sleepover at granny's house

[Zabelithe]

I'd be interested to hear at what age most of you mums let your DD and DS sleep at granny's house. I ask because our GD who is 4 and a half has still not been allowed to stay at ours despite the fact we have looked after her during the day while mum was working.

Mine have never stayed at Grandparents and as a child I never stayed with mine on my own either. It's not compulsory.

DM is local so dd stayed with her from about 2yo when she slept through properly. Dmil is about 2 hours drive away so dd doesn't sleep over as much but she did stay did 4 days by herself last summer (she was 4 yo) and she'll probably have another long visit this summer too. Having sleepovers with either of her nanas is her favourite thing

Never without us but both sets of parents live four hours away. We asked ds1 if he wanted a big boy sleep over at my parents whilst we stayed at PILs (they live about 20 mins apart) and he said no- he's 5.

Pils have never even babysat them during the day, so will never be having them overnight! DD1 is 10 and has slept over a few times at my parents, 6 and 3 year old haven't. Eldest dd has ASD and so some downtime with granny is great for her. Parents stayed at ours with dd1 when I gave birth to ds as it was the middle of the night, dd2 was born at a more civilised hour so it wasn't necessary
My parents provide childcare while I work so I wouldn't dream of asking anything more of them.

Annoyingly although all my 4 were (2 still are) up and down half the night at home they on the whole sleep beautifully at their GP's.

I do tend to agree with funkyfoam.
DS1's friend is 10 and has never been on a sleepover or any of the residential trips at school despite wanting to. He is allowed to go on the one in the summer and I can't help but think three nights away, miles from your home town when there is no contact with parents is actually a pretty bad situation for your first time from home.

DS was 18 months as both sets of GPs lived quite far away. By the time DD was born they lived much closer and we left both children (2.9yo and 4mo) with my parents for five nights to go away for our wedding anniversary. It was longer before they stayed with my MIL, but that's because, in her own words, she "doesn't do babies" and I felt it was best all round we waited until things were more settled.

Within a few months. I don't get why some parents are so precious about this.

My DDs slept over at my parents from about 6 months old. They're my parents and were looking after children (my elder siblings) before I was born. They know how to look after babies. I think its sad - unless there are very valid reasons - when people get precious and keep babies away from their own parents. Do you think those who have been parents before you suddenly turn "thick" just because their own offspring have had a baby, and can't be trusted because you now know best? Mind you I think mine did wake up a couple of times - and no, the sky didn't fall in due to that. At age 19 & 20 DDs still go off to stay with their grandparents at times of their own accord. & Im happy the family bond has been maintained.

I don't get why some parents are so precious about this.

Breastfeeding
Geographical distance
Poor sleepers
Limited time to spend with kids
Bad relationship with gp / lack of trust

And probably many more

I think it's sad that some stranger on the Internet thinks they can dictate valid reasons for another family to acceptably prevent sleepovers

Wheeler and Mistress, I think you are assuming every child's grandparents are basically nice human beings who haven't damaged their own children.

My nieces both stayed overnight at my parents from a few months old. Eldest is now 11 and the younger one is 8 and they still stay regularly. They absolutely love it. They also go away a couple of times a year for a 3 night holiday

Since they were tiny

DS has had a week here and there on his own at his grandparents (PILs) since he was 4. This is because they reasonably far away (3h) and they offer to look after him during holidays.

If you are close enough to regularly look after your GD then it wouldn't cross my mind that a sleepover is a 'thing' to be done.

DD1 was 11 months. She was really unsettled by it, none of them got any sleep, but we were both ill with food poisoning and needed sleep.

With the younger 3 we started them staying over much younger so that there was never that shock issue of suddenly being ditched at Granny's. They all love it now and stay with PIL every other Friday or Saturday just because they all have a ball. It came in really handy with DS1 was little and had endless hospital appointments.

They don't stay with my parents though.

Not sure, probably less than six months. We stay a lot at both parents all together and they each have him for a day every week so he's happy and comfortable there.

It's nice sometimes to have a little break together. Our parents are ace with him so other than missing him we have no worries.

Ds1 spent time in his own bed while my parents looked after him while I had ds 2 ( dh is forces and wasn't around). Dh however arrived home on the Wednesday after ds was born on the Sunday .
Ds 2 was very sick so spent almost the whole of his first 6 mths in hospital. Ds 1 in this time never stayed with grandparents at night.
The weekend before we moved to Australia both boys had 1 night at my parents. They were 3.5 & 5.5
My mother in law has never had them . They don't sit still !!!!

my 1st stayed over when he was 2 as I was in the hospital having our second. my kids rarely sleep over....maybe once this year my 4 yr old slept over That I can recall. They have a great relationship my parents though.

I will say, as a working parent I am not keen on weekend sleepovers with my young children as we are all about family time whenever we aren't at work.

DS was probably a little older than one. Maybe thirteen months.

DD is more attached to me than he was so it wasn't til 18 months. If she were alone I don't actually think she could do it, but with DS there she's okay.

It depends on the children, the grandparents and the parents involved so my experience isn't really relevant.

Ask your son/daughter about their concerns.

Grandparents who want their grandchildren to stay are needy and undermining.

Grandparents who don't want their grandchildren to stay are selfish and unhelpful.

The Mumsnet Catch 22.

As s on as they were off the breast.

*soon