Who IBU? Very obese man on train taking up seat.

[StackladysMorphicResonator]

Please settle a pub argument - we have been discussing who IBU for nearly an hour!

I went on a 2h30 train ride today. An extremely obese gentleman sat down next to me about five minutes into the journey. The middle arm rest was down, but his bulk was unfortunately spilling both under and over it. He then opened up a broadsheet newspaper, causing his arm to sit about 2 inches from my nose, and read it throughout the journey, causing his arm to be either right in front of me or squashing against my shoulder every time he turned a page.

I sat for the entire journey silently fuming, but didn't say anything to him as I didn't want to embarrass him in public. However, I had a pretty miserable journey and moaned about it to friends in the pub this evening.

The majority opinion here is that I WBU by not asking him to keep his elbows to himself, and I've only got myself to blame for my uncomfortable journey. My reasons for not asking him to butt out of my space is that I thought it would be really embarrassing for him, and due to his size he couldn't help it - of the people present, the majority opinion is that he should have purchased two seats if he couldn't fit into one seat, and certainly shouldn't have been reading something that caused him to practically elbow me in the nose every time he turned a page, and I was being a massive wuss by not saying anything.

So, wise denizens of AIBU: was I BU (and a wuss) by fuming in silence, and if so, what should I have done?

Tall people do have to pay more on some planes if they want to be able to fit into the space provided. They don't give out the emergency exits seats for free to people who are tall, they are expected to pay.

I think that's incredibly unfair, but if it's good enough for tall people who will end up in pain and not effect anyone else by not fitting in a seat, then it's good enough for fat people who will effect someone else by not fitting in a seat.

There was a recent similar thread on this topic for plane seats a few months ago and in the US now people do have to buy two seats if they can't fit in a standard one.

However to me it's slightly different on a plane where you have no choice but to sit down and a train where you can at least get up and move around to prevent DVT.

The issue appears to be caused not so much by the man's size as his selfish behaviour with the paper. It is rude to encroach on someone else's seat so if this cannot be helped due to size then the encroacher should do as much as possible to minimise this by leaning outwardly as much as they can and not disrupting the other person in any other way.

Being tall generally doesn't mean the person encroaches on someone else's seat.
As stated above, there are circumstances in which tall people do have to pay more.

I'm not sure why being tall is being compared to being obese to be honest. One can't be helped, the other can.

If it was so easily helped then noone would be

When you transfer to the island on which you are staying in the Maldives, unless it is close to the capital, you go by seaplane. They only hold 12-16, and have to be very particular about total weight and its even distribution. If the seaplane check in staff think a passenger is fat, they weigh them too, in full public view.

People will love that then. A bit of fat shaming.

Forgive me Fanjo, there was me thinking people could lose excess weight with help whereas losing height would mean going to rather more dramatic lengths.

I see my mistake now.

I didn't think Eric Pickles took the train?

sarcase is so tedious

Err as is sarcasm

Late to the thread, but anyone opening a newspaper up that close to my face would have to put up with me sneezing on their arm.

I've read the thread trying to imagine how this would work in a packed commuter train.Can't see anyone being happy with a situation where a large person took up two seats because they had paid for both.. Unless they really needed all of both seats,not just a bit more than one seat .

Also wondering about the bloke I sat next to at the pantomime a few years ago, he was huge and did crowd me, but he wasn't obese, just a big muscular guy( extreme rugby player/ bodybuilder physique) and unlike an obese person he had worked deliberately to end up like that- so where does he fit in?

My personal view is that people are the size and shape they are and a bit of tolerance goes a long way, but the whole newspaper reading bit was rude and bloke in OP should have been asked to stop.