to think that it is ok for a 10 year old to take himself to the toilet when you are in a pub

[jellymaker]

I have been out to a pub with friends and kids. My friend was really shocked that we allowed ds to take himself to the toilet there, saying that he could be attacked whilst in there. We are looking for opportunities for him to become independent before he goes to senior next year. this seems like a good one. AIBU to allow him to do this. At what age did your children do this ?

There are probably cases of adults being raped in toilets. Does that mean we shouldn't go?

I think 10 is plenty old enough, and too old for mum to take into the ladies.

It's time to get some perspective here.

How many children are sexually assaulted/raped each year by other children?

How many parents who 'worry themselves sick' about their children being attacked in public toilets 'worry themselves sick' about their children being attacked by ohter children in school toilets. It happens....

There, another thing to worry about...

I meant no males with you!

I notice that those of you who think it's OK to take older boys into the women's loos are silent on the impact this may have on girls. This is not because the boy is any threat, but because girls have the right to a female only space.

I agree with you Hak especially girls in early pubity having to deal with san-pro and feeling vulnerable.
The same is true of the men's toilet. Men have a right to a male only space, especially as they will be using urinals and therefore there is 'something to see'.

No Confused the answer you got was:
nothing but she and other females have the right to a female place. a 10 yr old boy should not be in the ladies

Of course nothing would happen to a girl if there was a boy using the same loo. Except that she could be deeply embarrassed. And she has a right to expect that a female loo does not have males over school age in it.

Honestly even as a teen I wouldn't mind sharing a public loo (with cubicles) with a teenage boy -or in fact any man. I have used the men's loos when desperate. Sure lots of trendy bars/restaurants (or at least 15-20 yrs ago when I was out and about) had unisex toilets - which actually I think is a really good idea...

The girl might be coming out of the cubicle. She might be at the hand basin. She might find it acutely embarrassing to find a boy sharing the sink with her.

The point is that it is a female space. And girls have a right to expect there not to be any boys there.

Good for you, unlucky. Proabably me too. But we're not all the same. And that is even before we start thinking about possible religious or cultural issues........

7yo DS won't come in the Ladies (if I happen to be going at the same time, or taking his little brother) - he takes himself to the Mens' and that's fine with me in restaurants, cafes, pubs etc.

Shopping centres I would take both boys into a family room still rather than let him go alone.

You said you would expect a female teacher to take a ten year old into the ladies if no male teacher were available.

I also think girls have the right to a female only space and for older bots not to be present.

Older boys of course...

And why should the mothers of those girls put your son first.?

I don't have children. I used to teach children. Does my childless state mean I'm not entitled to an opinion?

What do you mean? Are you saying that girls do not have a right to expect a designated female only space to have no boys in it? That boys can ride roughshod over the needs/wishes of girls?

Perhaps the mothers of girls on trips would like an assurance that older boys won't be invading their daughters ' space on school trips? Perhaps they have religious and cultural objections too. If they then can't access the trip in the absence of those assurances that's a contravention of the Equality Act.