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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy this car because the dealer was an arse?

118 replies

crumblebumblebee · 02/01/2015 18:25

I am looking to buy a new car. I went with my partner because he has an interest in car mechanics and I know very little about that side of things. I did most of the talking and made it clear that it was my car.

One particularly dealership had an attractive looking deal - although not the best one - but the manager was such an arse that I am tempted to look elsewhere. My partner thinks I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face.

The dealer basically ignored me and talked to my partner the whole time, looking at him while asking him the questions and I answered. He suggested I look at the interior while he and DP had "manly talks about engines". He smirked while suggesting I would like the pink car. I would prefer black or silver actually. He just gave off a very superior vibe and it pissed me off.

I was certainly tired and grouchy after a long day of looking at cars but AIBU and petty?

OP posts:

JegHarMalingiMitHar · 02/01/2015 18:27

nyanbu. i didn't buy a car once for very similar reasons.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 02/01/2015 18:28

go back to that dealership but use another salesperson and insist they get the commission and say exactly why?

It may be petty, it may be cutting nose off territory but I completely understand. I HATE that attitude and I think that only by them losing out and being told why will things ever change.

MuttonCadet · 02/01/2015 18:29

No, you're right, and should contact them explaining why you won't be taking them up on their offer.

Yambabe · 02/01/2015 18:29

YADNBU, I hate that. I wouldn't buy a car from him, and I would probably make a point of driving past in my newly-purchased-from-somewhere-else car quite soon just so he knew he had lost a commission........

simbacatlivesagain · 02/01/2015 18:29

I walked out of the BMW garage because they served a man before me (I was next in the queue- when I challenged they said my husband was still outside- he was - he hates cars and had no interest). I spent £57,000 hat day at another garage.

corgiology · 02/01/2015 18:30

If he acts that way before you bought the car how will he act when it fails after a month and you bring it back?

He will dismiss you as not knowing anything.

Avoid avoid avoid! :)

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/01/2015 18:31

YANBU. It would stick in my throat to make the patronising git his commission. ANd I might send a letter to his boss too, just to let them know that their salesman is losing them business.

lifelorn · 02/01/2015 18:32

YANBU I too had this problem whilst with my DH looking for a car for me. I suggest visiting another dealership and buying from someone who deserves the sale.

GaryShitpeas · 02/01/2015 18:33

Yanbu

Always remember when I was about 21 and had come into a small amount of money

I decided to buy a nearly new sports car, a Mazda mx5

I'd wanted one for years and went into the local Mazda dealership and the vile attitude I got from a salesman was awful just didn't take me seriously at all. I looked far younger than I was and also had pink hair piercings and a rocky style of dressing and he just spoke to me like crap

In my case though I phoned and complained to the manager who arranged a test drive. Anyway I bought it and I remember going in there to pick it up and pay and dealt with a different sales person and the original one was there and saw me drive off in it! Haha I was so happy he missed out on whatever the commission would be on 7k the judgemental twat

YellowTulips · 02/01/2015 18:37

YANBU

Another BMW one (have posted about this before). I love cars - DH has little interest.

Bought the car ok (New M3 - very sporty 3 series) but when I picked it up the sales guy said " bet your husbands gutted that he had to send the wife to pick up his new car".

Suffice to say I bought my current car from another (albeit German) manufacturer (and the dealership was excellent).

Have loads of other experiences though of dealers talking to DH over me when it's clearly my car and my decision. Make my blood boil but like a poster above its their loss as I won't buy from idiots so I go elsewhere knowing my money won't pay their commission - which given what I spend is a lot.

beanandspud · 02/01/2015 18:39

Something similar happened to me. I went on my own to buy a new car and the salesman kept asking whether I would need to run it past my husband before signing anything.

I had to ask two or three times for the finance quote and I'm convinced that he didn't believe I had the 'authority' to buy a car on my own.

In the end I went to another dealer and bought the car. I phoned the first dealer and told him why he'd lost the sale - he wasn't impressed.

PowderMum · 02/01/2015 18:40

YANBU, we have a local Mercedes garage, when I went in on my own to look at cars, I was completely ignored, that day they lost a £60k plus sales oppotunity, next time when shopping for a car for me not the family car I thought I would give them a second opportunity, I wasn't completely ignored but I also didn't get good service and the comment 'would you like to book a convienient appointment for your husband to have a test drive' before they had offered me one made me leave. BMW were happy to sell ME a car.

I have bought all my own cars without a man's help since I was 19 and don't need to start now. I do have a DH and we do discuss big purchases but if they won't deal with a women they won't get a look in.

PointlessResolutions · 02/01/2015 18:41

YANBU. I am the one who makes car decisions in our family - DH isn't interested and doesn't drive. The dealer I use know me well and I have never had anything but respect and common sense from them. I'd have walked out and told them I would be spending my money elsewhere.

farmlass · 02/01/2015 18:45

You are quite right to expect to be treated with respect.but imo car dealers are the worst for the way they treat women.I completely embarrassed my dh when I told the git of a salesman that every time you bought a car you expected to get "done"! Dh mortified but I absolutely know that mark ups are huge!!

Humansatnav · 02/01/2015 18:45

YADNBU, I will not ne spoken down to and have walked out of shops and car dealerships for this very reason.

specialsubject · 02/01/2015 18:45

all too common in the car sales game. Get in touch with the manager (or go higher if he was the manager) and kick up a stink.

if the car is good and you want it, then demand another salesperson AND a big discount.

wowfudge · 02/01/2015 18:46

My DP has made it clear in a similar situation in the past that the sales guy needed to speak with me and in fact backed away until the eejit got the message.

CatsClaus · 02/01/2015 18:48

we had very similar when looking for a car... both ford and vauxhall garage were complete twats despite being told it was a runabout for me and the chiddlers

Cabrinha · 02/01/2015 18:51

Not a car, but garage related.
Then husband booked my car in for some work, and dropped it off as I was at work - and it was a firm he used at his work.
I went in to collect later. There was a £70 part to be ordered, that wasn't essential, but preferable. They discussed it with me. All perfectly polite and uneventful. I decided to go with it. They put my card in the handheld machine, as I typed my Pin in, husband rang them - he'd missed a call from them made before I arrived.

Garage owner asked HIM whether I should have the part, in front of me - and my decision, and my processed payment (I have, like, my own money and everything!)

XH is an arsehole, but at least not in that way - I could hear him say "well, you need to ask her. It's her car".

I never used them again.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/01/2015 18:53

YANBU.

I once did not buy a car because the salesman was rude basically I rocked up to buy a Ferrari wearing a battered pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and he treated me like scum.

With in the hour I went to another forecourt spent more money and asked the nice sales man to phone and thank the guy for being a rude arse. He did.

fiorentina · 02/01/2015 18:53

YANBU, I had exactly the same as a VW dealership. Guy ignored me and spoke to my then partner all the time, even though I'd made clear I was paying and it was for me. I went somewhere else, he was so rude and consescending. Not long ago the original dealership sent me an invite to a Women and Car maintenance evening. I did add a slightly sarcastic comment to my response..

Stillyummy · 02/01/2015 18:54

This happened to me, I complained to the manager and he made the guy apologise. I think they took it so seriously as I said I would complain to the company if they didn't. I also picked a slightly nerdy sails man that I saw the guy picking on when I first arrived and asked for him specifically to handle my sail. When I take the car back to be serviced I still see the jock sails man, and now he is very good at calling over another coligue to serve me asap.

Coyoacan · 02/01/2015 18:58

Oh definitely, OP. That is one of the pleasures of having choice!

Pico2 · 02/01/2015 19:05

YANBU. I've vetoed a car purchase for DH because the salesman was awful. I don't think I achieved much for womankind that time as I said that I didn't like the colour and we wouldn't buy the car.

YellowTulips · 02/01/2015 19:09

At least this thread is making me feel better about how much I spend on cars

I'm clearly not the only motoring enthusiast

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