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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy this car because the dealer was an arse?

118 replies

crumblebumblebee · 02/01/2015 18:25

I am looking to buy a new car. I went with my partner because he has an interest in car mechanics and I know very little about that side of things. I did most of the talking and made it clear that it was my car.

One particularly dealership had an attractive looking deal - although not the best one - but the manager was such an arse that I am tempted to look elsewhere. My partner thinks I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face.

The dealer basically ignored me and talked to my partner the whole time, looking at him while asking him the questions and I answered. He suggested I look at the interior while he and DP had "manly talks about engines". He smirked while suggesting I would like the pink car. I would prefer black or silver actually. He just gave off a very superior vibe and it pissed me off.

I was certainly tired and grouchy after a long day of looking at cars but AIBU and petty?

OP posts:

ShumbTucker · 03/01/2015 17:33

YANBU. I've done the same. The whole fiasco ended with DH declaring he knows "bugger all about cars and for the 100th time - my wife does, it's her car and she is paying for it. What is so damn difficult to understand!". He is very mild mannered and doesn't often raise his voice but he was furious on my behalf. We bought elsewhere from a very nice chap who spent a good half an hour with DH cooing over photos of our respective children and giving DH tips on how to make rock solid paper mâché.

Blanketontheground · 03/01/2015 17:35

I needed to buy a car for work with 24 hours notice (long story). I walked away from the perfect car with my 15k in my pocket as the sales manager called me nothing but 'babe'. Funny in hindsight but I was furious. I've no idea why I didn't say anything on the day.

member · 03/01/2015 18:05

So disappointed that so much sexism/prejudice is still prevalent in this day and age.

Currently researching cars before stepping onto any forecourt and again it's me who knows more /has more interest and does more driving than him. It will be interesting to see what attitudes we meet!

nowahousewife · 03/01/2015 19:06

Not just you and me clutter. A mate of mine went there 2 yrs ago with her husband dressed in his work clothes (think tradesman) and they were so patronised they went down the road to BMW and walked out with a new 3 series convertible.

YellowTulips · 03/01/2015 20:02

I wonder why dealerships don't employ more female sales staff?

Is it because women don't want the job or is it just an innately sexist industry?

To be fair whilst I've had some bad experiences my last purchase was flawless in terms of customer service.

I actually bought it whilst visiting PIL in Newcastle and I had a much better experience (pre and post sale) than from local dealers.

Reekypear · 03/01/2015 20:18

I'm so happy they talk to my husband. I know nothing about cars.

goodasitgets · 03/01/2015 20:31

VW have always been great with me. Except he puts his head in his hands when I go in. Last time he asked if I wanted the moon on a stick, my reply "no but a full tank of fuel and a magic tree air freshener"
Bloody got it too. I will push and push to get the best deal

ZombieApocalypse · 03/01/2015 20:41

Argh. This infuriates me. I went to a dealership with DH a few years ago. It was made clear from the outset that it would be my car but the salesman insisted on addressing everything to DH, even when I asked direct questions (and I do know about cars). It got to the point when I asked a question, salesman talked to DH, he made a point of deferring to me and I was still ignored. We left.

Cabrinha · 03/01/2015 21:23

Reekypair that's fine you bring your husband along because he knows more than you.

But if you'd looked around and he'd helped you to decide what met your needs, and the two of you went over and you said "I'm interested in the black Ford - could I test drive it?" and the salesmen ignored you, and turned to your husband and "have you got your licence there? I'll take you out now" - surely you would be pissed off?

Blanketontheground · 03/01/2015 21:29

My dad has dementia and I took him for a day out while I looked for cars once. I was ignored while the salesmen tried to make sense of him. Shame on you Renault. But in fairness your sales team worked hard.

Junglen · 04/01/2015 15:01

It's a gap in the market isn't it? car sales women.

Junglen · 04/01/2015 15:01

although obviously if car salesmen could just treat women like people that would do too

5Foot5 · 04/01/2015 15:18

YADNBU.

I haven't had this experience with my local VW dealership (though it is ages since I last bought a car) but I once had a similar experience in a hifi shop.

This is nearly 25 years ago when CD players were quite new technology. DH and I had a fair bit of disposable income so decided to treat ourselves. We decided to do our research first so we bought a Which Hifi magazine which had an article on what to look for in a CD player and read up on the technical aspects. We then went in to the very traditional hifi shop in town to see what they had.

It soon became apparent that the salesperson considered all things hifi to be a male preserve and when I asked him any questions he addressed his answers to DH. DH thought this rather funny so he made a point of keeping quiet and letting me ask all the questions to see if the guy would take the hint. He didn't. To make it more ridiculous it was also clear after a few minutes that although this guy might know all there was to know about traditional hifi he hadn't really got to grips with CD players yet. There was one model that he was trying to persuade us to buy, he said it was better than the other models. When I asked in what way it was better the best he could manage was that it had "a more better spec."

We left and bought equipment elsewhere.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 04/01/2015 15:26

Never had a problem at a dealership. I've brought a few new cars now and the salesman have all always been polite, friendly and answered my questions helpfully.

One said in terms of commission that someone buying on finance was more valuable than a cash buyer. I'm not sure how true that is. Although one did try to convince me to put more on finance and less of a cash payment but I wanted to not pay as much each month.

Charlieboo30 · 04/01/2015 15:38

I had a similar thing with a Kia garage near us - put me off Kia for life. I have never felt so patronised and insignificant in my life. Incidentally, we had a female salesperson as well! Ended up buying from Toyota who have looked after me so well (it still goes to them for servicing).

On the finance/cash buyer scenario, my uncle bought a brand new car recently and is in a position to pay cash but got a much better deal on finance. Interesting...

WhatchaMaCalllit · 05/01/2015 10:44

I've had a recent (as in within the past month) experience in a local Renault garage to where I live (I'm in Dublin).

Renault have the dealership on Dacia too so I was in the market for one of those cars. I've bought two cars so far in my life - a Nissan and a Ford. I'm not new to buying a car and I have my finance already sorted. I have to trade in my current car to make up part of the overall payment but that's by the by.

I had made an appointment with a sales guy to take one of the Dacia cars out for a test drive. The sales guy that I had made the appointment with didn't get the keys for any of the cars and promptly sat down and discussed money. So having made an appointment for a test drive, it never materialised.

The only thing he was interested in was money. As there didn't seem to be a test drive on the horizon, I said that I wanted to get X amount of money for my car being traded in (for the age of the car it has low mileage) and that I had done my research and it was the middle of the price range I had seen for the age and mileage of similar cars of the same make for sale. They wanted to offer me at least 2k less. He went in to discuss this with a colleague. Then I was introduced to this one of his older colleagues who badgered and hassled and tried to get me to sign there and then to buy a car that wouldn't be in stock until March based on figures that he had jotted down on a form. I have never felt more 'handled' in my life.

I said to both of them that I would have to think about it, I had to ask for a copy of the piece of paper that had the figures written down on it and walked out of the dealership. I wont buy a car from them if they aren't willing to take potential customers out on a test drive in any of their vehicles.

Still in the market for a new car though....might try another dealership...

PigletJohn · 05/01/2015 11:00

I'm told it is a good idea to write to Dacia (or other manufacturer) about your experience. They don't like their agents being arses.

It ought to be enough to complain to the dealership manager/owner, but if he wasn't an arse he would already have got his salespeople behaving properly.

ConfusedInBath · 05/01/2015 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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