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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy this car because the dealer was an arse?

118 replies

crumblebumblebee · 02/01/2015 18:25

I am looking to buy a new car. I went with my partner because he has an interest in car mechanics and I know very little about that side of things. I did most of the talking and made it clear that it was my car.

One particularly dealership had an attractive looking deal - although not the best one - but the manager was such an arse that I am tempted to look elsewhere. My partner thinks I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face.

The dealer basically ignored me and talked to my partner the whole time, looking at him while asking him the questions and I answered. He suggested I look at the interior while he and DP had "manly talks about engines". He smirked while suggesting I would like the pink car. I would prefer black or silver actually. He just gave off a very superior vibe and it pissed me off.

I was certainly tired and grouchy after a long day of looking at cars but AIBU and petty?

OP posts:
Pipbin · 03/01/2015 09:11

I had the same.

DH didn't drive much at this point but they insisted on talking to him. When the car was delivered I went to collect it on my own. They started talking about gap insurance and I said 'No thank you, I've never had gap insurance before' to which the sales git said 'but have you ever bought a brand new £15 k car before?' I told him that I had done many times thank you.

The worst salesman though was in Phones4U. DH went in to ask about a phone and the guy talked through the deal and contract. DH turned to me and asked my opinion. Salesman said 'what do you need to ask her for?' We walked out.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 03/01/2015 09:12

Yanbu I hate sexism.

I am perfectly able to buy a car and any other thing in this world.

Don't give him the commission and tell him why.

Pipbin · 03/01/2015 09:12

Interesting crumble. Nissan where arseholes when we bought our last car but we had no choice as we knew we wanted a Nissan and they were the only dealership.

Theas18 · 03/01/2015 09:17

You are not being unreasonable. Don't give the comission on your car to an arse. Thr poster that suggested you could have issues if there is a problem is right too.

We are just buying our 2nd car from the local ford dealership precisely because when I bought my car 3 yrs ago ( first purchase on my own) there was none of the patronising shite going on. They have been just as good this time - i scouted the cars out before DH came and chose. The chap also relised that we were not looking for an expensive car but a good enough one for low mileage so after we'd looked at some relatively spendy fiestas - our initial thought pointed us to a very basic very cheap skoda (dismissed by DH as no air con !) and an older focus which we bought.

Well done Mr salesman!

HermioneWeasley · 03/01/2015 09:18

Wow, imagine how dealership sales performance would go up if they treated women with respect! Happened to a friend's mum years ago when she was buying a top spec BMW. She went to a different dealership. I've bought many expensive high performance cars and never had an issue, but I always go on my own so no bloke to be deferred to!

Carriemoo · 03/01/2015 09:34

My mum had a similar experience with audi when we were looking for a new car. I went along with her and we found a sales person as she was interested in the new TT available from September. He basically said to her he had only 2 minutes as he had another customer coming in and what did she want. He was so arrogant and rude. There was no I'll get another sales person but how can I help in the meantime.
The conversation then went like this:

Man: so are you looking for something small? Maybe the a1. What's your budget and we can see if we can have a look for you
mum: I don't have a budget
man: oh um what type of cars have you had before?
Mum: porsche, mini, etc
man: oh a boxter and a mini Cooper?
Mum: no a carerra 4s and a john Cooper mini oh and a ferrari
man: oh, can I take your name and number and we can set up an appointment
mum: no thanks we are going to visit mercedes
flounces out

She the went to mercedes and spent a lot of money on a new car.

Junglen · 03/01/2015 09:40

ha ha r4roger, imagine closing your eyes and fantasising that you were Jeremy clarkson! bottom feeders these car sales men. Unbelievable in this day and age that this behaviour is not only rife but the norm.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/01/2015 09:51

Envy all these people with lots of money

Storytown · 03/01/2015 09:59

I had exactly the same experience with Nissan and in the end bought the same car from Drive the Deal. Got an even better price and excellent customer service.

ItsGonnaBeCoolThisChristmas · 03/01/2015 10:02

YANBU and if you do complain/explain why they missed the sale, you will possibly change the world a tiny bit for the better.

I've refused to buy a car (we wanted) from a sexist arse before.

MyballsareSandy · 03/01/2015 10:15

We recently test drove a car and DH was driving it around the local roads, chatting to the salesman. I didn't want to drive it as I had forgotten my glasses, but this prick took it as some kind of embarrassment or nervousness on my part.

"Come on darlin, get in the drivers seat, I won't bite, tell you what we don't need to stay on these big busy roads, I'll take you to a big empty car park where you can't hit anything ..... laughs his head off".

Teenage DD was with us and I was chatting to her saying if we did buy a new car then we would all have to look after it, no eating in it and leaving wrappers/drinks, making sure muddy football boots were taken off and put in the boot etc. Salesman pipes up "oh you have a boy as well do you?". Err no, DD plays for one of the premier girls teams in the area. He looked confused and then had the cheek to say 'she doesn't look the sort, she's quite feminine" Shock.

bigoldbird · 03/01/2015 10:16

I had a job in a car dealership once. It was horrible. I think I cried all the time I wasn't at work, I lasted about 3 weeks. I believe I was employed in the first place because the boss fancied me (I was young and lovely in those days) and the sales staff were just vile.

atoughyear · 03/01/2015 10:24

I've had loads of similar experiences in car dealerships. My DP doesn't drive and had zero interest so it's my decision 100%. My ddad was in the trade so I'm pretty clued up and don't take any shit. The last few times I've bought a car I've dealt with female sales people and they've been exceptionally good.

pinkrocker · 03/01/2015 10:27

Different experience here! I worked in a dealership for 6 years, LOVED IT, we were top in all sorts of sales and service leagues and with a female Dealer Principal there was no way that sexism was allowed!
I'd buy a car from them anyday.

SummerSazz · 03/01/2015 10:37

We had a similar experience and when the salesman tried to address dh he just said 'I'm only here for the childcare mate' Grin
He also kept trying to push the finance and sling if I understood it. I said that yes, as an accountant I understood fully but wasn't interested thanks. I probably should have told them where to shove it but I loved that car.
When we bought a van, dh told the salesman to deal with me as I had control over the money Grin

BathshebaDarkstone · 03/01/2015 10:43

YANBU! ShockI'm shocked that this kind of sexism still goes on! Shock

MrsTuppence · 03/01/2015 10:47

You are totally not being unreasonable, this stuff really grips my shit. It happened to me with the last car I bought (nearly new BMW). It was my money and my decision. I'd done loads of research and understand a good deal about the pros and cons of the different models, but wanted the guy's opinion about the particulate filter issue with modern diesels. He looked at me like I was an alien and asked if I liked the colour of the leather interior. Idiot. He lost a significant sale that day.
I don't know what it says about car salesman that they don't realise how much they stand to lose by being such sexist pigs, other than they're thick. Hmm

inlectorecumbit · 03/01/2015 10:57

Another BMW one..
A coupleof years ago l went to a local BMW garage on a Sunday mornint to look at an X3. The sales man took one look at me and declined to find the keys that he claimed were locked in the safe upstairs. I said l was prepared to wait but he then said he wouldn't have access to them that day Hmm.I went home and fired off a rather angry email to the company HQ in London complaining about their " Sales prevention team".
Next day l got a phone call from London asking for details-- a short while later the manager of the dealership called asking for a description of the salesman and when given he sighed and didn't seem at all surprised.
London phoned back later that day to offer an X3 be brought to my house for a test drive. It was only then that l told them that l had gone to the Audi garage that same morning and bought a Q3..
Their loss and the salesman who knows...

inlectorecumbit · 03/01/2015 10:58

aghhh Q5

dotdotdotmustdash · 03/01/2015 11:06

My FIL came to the UK from an asian country 47 years to work as a health professional. He went to buy a family car a few years ago and was being shown around the preferred car. It was all going well until the salesman got to the boot and said "It's an excellent size for trips to the cash and carry".

He didn't get the sale.

AlpacaStockingOnChristmasEve · 03/01/2015 11:18

When will people in sales remember the 'Golden Rule'? The one who has the gold makes the rules...

I've chosen not to use a particular builder before as he refused to talk to me and insisted on talking to DH about the work that needed doing on the house. I made the appointment and had all the questions, and was paying for the work. But he was all 'lets get your hubby to join us so we can talk about prices'
I really wish I'd shown him the door then...

LostyTheSnowman · 03/01/2015 11:31

Just throwing in an honourable mention for every single builder who, during my extensive renovation of our beautiful but ancient house, asked me if I needed to check with my husband or only addressed my father who just happened to be here. The lovely man who treated me like an intelligent human not walking tits got the very large contract and did a much better job than any of the neanderthals probably would have. Why do they have to make it such hard work?

Apatite1 · 03/01/2015 11:34

YANBU

And on that note, please everyone avoid the mercedes dealership in Chelsea. I heard the service was bad (esp if you are young they treat you like you can't afford to walk through their doors) but now I have first hand experience. We bought an Audi instead!

Eltonjohnsflorist · 03/01/2015 11:35

This is disgraceful!

Junglen · 03/01/2015 11:40

trips to the cash and carry! Oh. My. God.

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