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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy this car because the dealer was an arse?

118 replies

crumblebumblebee · 02/01/2015 18:25

I am looking to buy a new car. I went with my partner because he has an interest in car mechanics and I know very little about that side of things. I did most of the talking and made it clear that it was my car.

One particularly dealership had an attractive looking deal - although not the best one - but the manager was such an arse that I am tempted to look elsewhere. My partner thinks I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face.

The dealer basically ignored me and talked to my partner the whole time, looking at him while asking him the questions and I answered. He suggested I look at the interior while he and DP had "manly talks about engines". He smirked while suggesting I would like the pink car. I would prefer black or silver actually. He just gave off a very superior vibe and it pissed me off.

I was certainly tired and grouchy after a long day of looking at cars but AIBU and petty?

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 03/01/2015 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheReluctantCountess · 03/01/2015 11:46

Yanbu. I've walked away from car dealers because of this.

Chewbecca · 03/01/2015 11:51

YANBU
I have walked away from similar in the past. Stick to your guns!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 03/01/2015 11:54

I had that shit from a Honda dealership once. Didn't buy the car from there. Found an identical one in another dealership where they weren't such arseholes.

threepiecesuite · 03/01/2015 11:56

I bought a high performance car outright which cost £20k.
I picked the young geeky looking lad. He was nothing but polite and non - patronising to me, but very thorough with the details and so I proceeded with the sale. He confessed in a follow up call that it was his first sale as he'd only started recently. I was delighted for him especially as his horrid slimy colleagues had been teasing him, saying he couldn't handle the sale.

snowaccidentprone · 03/01/2015 12:03

When we bought our last car (about 5 years ago) I couldn't decide whether to get a vw or a Volvo.

I went to the local Volvo dealer. I spent about 1/2 hr both inside looking at the new cars, and outside at the used cars. Despite the fact I was the only customer there, I was completely ignored.

I went to vw and was given a test drive car for the afternoon. I was given loads of attention (and I had both ds's with me that time).

I also went to the Volvo dealership in the next town (again with both ds's). We went on a test drive, when we arrived back we were all given drinks, talked through the various options. It was only after I had signed all the paperwork that dh went with me to pick it up.

It's amazing how attitudes and service vary between different dealerships. If I'm ignore or patronised I just take my business elsewhere.

quietbatperson · 03/01/2015 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TweedAddict · 03/01/2015 12:18

I love playing the sexist man game when buying cars, I buy a lot of cars, I know my way around them. However I look like I don't know the bonnet from the boot. Car sales men turn in the charm, say things like it's such a nice colour things like that. I stand and nod. Then when they have got a sale, I start grilling them about the timing belts/ chains, service history, and everything else. They turn round and say ohh it's due at 100k I know different and them so, get them to look it up. Yep I'm right, huge discount. Gets them every time! It pays to know more then the car sales men

ChelsyHandy · 03/01/2015 14:09

YellowTulips Suffice to say I bought my current car from another (albeit German) manufacturer (and the dealership was excellent)

Same experience here. Not impressed with BMW at all and never managed to get a test drive in order to decide whether to change! I think the salesmen (they are all men) take them all home at the weekend.

YANBU OP.

darkness · 03/01/2015 14:50

The real horror of all this is that the responsibility for choosing / purchasing cars falls mostly to women in the UK by a factor of more than 2 to 1.. So these a** es are just stupid to employ andcstupid to have this attitude,
I can only assume that there must be some.. Well stupid.. People higher up in the field of these businesses who simply don't understand statistics.

muminhants · 03/01/2015 14:54

Given that so many people on here thought it appropriate to report a taxi-driver for a racist remark, shouldn't the OP be reporting this salesman to his manager for his sexist remarks and approach? Sexism is just as bad as racism.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/01/2015 15:22

Complain to the dealership principle (manager), it might take you a few calls (they're always in meetings) but the ones I've known are always keen to hear feedback.

I've worked with car salesmen before and unfortunately a fair few of them are patronising to women, but the DP will be pissed if they find out that their salesmen are effectively turning away customers - because the DP looses out on their bonus if targets aren't met...

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 03/01/2015 15:24

I've bought all three of my last cars by myself. I used to work in a car dealership. It's amazing how you get the salesman's attention when you let this slip and start asking about servicing intervals, when cambelts are due, mpg, future end value, that sort of thing. I can spot dealer bullshit a mile off.

grovel · 03/01/2015 15:26

I agree with darkness. The salesmen (and their training people) must be phenomenally stupid. I once had a holiday job in a car dealership. Every morning the sales manager reminded his troops to sell to the women. This was 20 years ago. He told me (a) that women tend to have the final say and (b) that they tended to have more practical concerns which needed to be overcome/sold around. His examples of the latter were luggage space and backseat passenger comfort which generally didn't concern men as much. He also said that if a couple couldn't decide between two similar cars they would buy from the dealership where they were treated best. Treating people well meant showing people respect.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/01/2015 15:29

*loses

Also agree with TweedAddict - do you're homework, and I forgot to say if you're buying a used car it's worth going midweek when they've turned around their part exchanges (when they've had time to complete inspections, valet, priced and put the cars on the forecourt) from the weekend, you'll get pick of the new crop of used stock before the weekend surge.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/01/2015 15:30

Fgs blood autocorrect -*your

QuinnTwinny · 03/01/2015 16:38

My dad once didn't buy a car because of the smug, arrogant attitude of the dealer. Obviously looking down his nose at my dad as he was dressed in jeans and a jumper (he wears suits Monday to Friday, why on earth would he want to at the weekend?!), and was incredibly condescending and rude. Before leaving, my dad informed the guy on a couple of mistakes he had made while quoting the specs of the car, told him he should work on his customer service skills and then told him he had lost out on a £40,000 sale due to his attitude. He then proceeded to go to the Jaguar garage right next door and ended up buying one. I went with him to collect his car when it came in, he made a big point of driving past the BMW garage slowly to make sure the guy saw him. Petty but so worth it!

Indantherene · 03/01/2015 16:51

I have had absolutely the reverse this week. DH looking for a replacement car and we were looking at the cheaper end of the new car market. Every single salesperson has addressed me not DH, because we are looking at "women's" cars. Confused.

The Panda saleslady was lovely but most surprised when I said no I didn't want to go with them on a test drive. Not my car, don't care.

We have in the past walked out of salesrooms after being ignored or patronised, so no YANBU. Not as if there is a shortage of cars.

jellycake · 03/01/2015 16:52

I walked out of a dealership last year when the sales man actually called me 'darling' and asked me if my hubby would be coming to look at the car. I told him where he could stick his car Grin

nowahousewife · 03/01/2015 16:55

My local Audi dealership are the biggest bunch of twats around. Do that exact same theing where they speak to DH, who has zero interest in cars but doesn't like to be taken for a fool, rather then me who loves cars and spends too much on them.

So we go in there, take the car I'm interested in for a test drive, let the prat of a salesman do his sexist routine and choose the model I want.

We then go home and DH gets online and finds the exact car I want at another dealetship. Have the usual 4-6 week wait for my brand new Audi to be delivered and in this time I take great delight in ignoring the follow up calls from the original salesman and then after a couple of weeks take even greater pleasure in informing him we've bought elsewhere where the salesmen were not so ignorant.

Done this twice in the last 7 years, you think they'd learn, sigh. Planning on buying a new A5 convertible this year and guess what....I'll be back down my local dealership, wasting their salesmen's time and enjoying every minute of it.

That's you Audi West London!

AnotherFurry · 03/01/2015 17:04

I haven't RTHT but it took me years to decide to buy a ford because of an arse of a dealer about 15 years ago who told me to go home and talk to my boyfriend about whether the car was right for me. First I was on my own and second I was single so he assumed I had a boyfriend when I was more than capable of deciding for myself and also had the cash in the bank to buy it outright there and then. I went straight over the road and bought a peurgeot as the dealer there was so much more professional. My take was that if ford wanted to be represented by arses by him then I would not support them by buying their cars.

I have bought many cars in th past and I refuse to part money to companies that are represented by ignorant people.

AnotherFurry · 03/01/2015 17:08

I should say I did eventually buy a ford but it took many years for me to go into a dealership and see if their attitude had changed

So yes sometimes we have to walk away from what seems like a good deal to respect out own standards.

RinkyDinkyDoo · 03/01/2015 17:24

YANBU, we did the same. Looking for a new car for DH, we'd had a look around the outside and went inside for a look. Without really knowing how, we found ourselves sat at a desk with someone called Tommy taking our details, not signing for a car, but he was going to look in the database to see if they had something suitable.
He was a bit of a smarmy knob head, but we carried on. When it came to our address, we told him, cue this repsonse :
" what you live there and you're driving round in that old car, you must be the embarrassment of the village, no wonder you're here today "
We live in a vairy naice village. DH and I looked at each other open mouthed.
I stood up and told him to delete all the details he'd just taken and told him we would NEVER buy a car from him and then off we went.
Cheeky twat!!!!

cluttercluttereverywhere · 03/01/2015 17:28

Totally agree about Audi West London nowahousewife I thought it was just me being patronised down there!

OP, YANBU. I hope you find your ideal car elsewhere though!

PigletJohn · 03/01/2015 17:31

you should buy a hat, go back and say "big mistake"

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