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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

just sitting in car

255 replies

shggg245 · 31/12/2014 17:35

I live in a very remote spot just my house and fields - there's a small car park adjacent to my back garden. For the past 3 weeks a man has parked up and sat in his car from 10am until 5 ish. Engine not running - no lights when it's dark.

He literally just sits everyday including weekends. Don't think he's doing anything dodgey but just think it's really peculiar.

Aibu to ask if he's ok or should I just mind my own business?

OP posts:
Worksallhours · 31/12/2014 17:37

He may have lost his job and not told his family.

CocktailQueen · 31/12/2014 17:38

Does sound odd. Maybe he's lost his job and is pretending he's still going to work? Or he could be dodgy. I wouldn't like it, being so remote.

Won't do any harm to ask him if he's ok... Maybe...

Fabulous46 · 31/12/2014 17:38

I thought the same, he's lost his job and hasn't told anyone.

CocktailQueen · 31/12/2014 17:38

Snap, worksallhours!

Jackie0 · 31/12/2014 17:39

I'd be very creeped out, particularly as youre in remote spot.
I would ask the police for advice.

Original poster
shggg245 · 31/12/2014 17:39

Yeah that had crossed my mind - crap if that's the case.

OP posts:
DreamingDiva13 · 31/12/2014 17:40

I was thinking lost job and not told family yet too. Id probably take him a hot cup of tea out and ask if he's okay.

notagainffffffffs · 31/12/2014 17:42

Id probably call 101 and ask if someone could swing by if they get a quiet moment.

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 31/12/2014 17:42

I think I'd probably take out a cup of tea and some biscuits and ask him if he's okay. But I'd only do this if DH was home and came with me.

londonrach · 31/12/2014 17:54

Poor guy. He lost his job. I know someone who did that so scared by admitting he lost his job.

londonrach · 31/12/2014 17:55

Take him the local paper with jobs...

dwarfrabbit · 31/12/2014 18:00

May not be job loss if he's there at weekends, so ask the coppers to check. I wouldn't approach him if I lived in a remote spot - look after yourself...

steff13 · 31/12/2014 18:05

If he'd lost his job, wouldn't he be better off spending the day out looking for a new job? I'd probably knock on the window and see if he's ok.

championnibbler · 31/12/2014 18:15

I would not approach him. Maybe check with the police?

Original poster
shggg245 · 31/12/2014 18:16

Not drip feeding but my dh has worked in a variety of high and medium secure hospitals with some very high risk individuals so we're already programmed to think the worst. Don't do Facebook for that reason. For what it's worth dh doesn't recognise him.

He avoids eye contact but I'll get dh to give him a knock and ask if he's ok. I think he had probably lost his job - he must be bloody freezing sitting there all day and what does he do when he needs a wee? Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 31/12/2014 18:18

I agree that it sounds like he's lost his job or is in deep depression or both. But not sure I'd be taking tea and biscuits. Getting your DH to ask if he's OK is a good idea.

Original poster
shggg245 · 31/12/2014 18:39

3 week's and nothing has happened so I'm not letting my imagination run wild...if he was a worry reckon we'd know by now. Also this sounds awful but I don't want to make friends with him.

Reassured that other people think it's a bit strange and agree that it's probably due to job loss.

OP posts:
MrsDiesel · 31/12/2014 18:42

How sad (if its job loss) I agree with calling 101 and asking them to come by.

Royalsighness · 31/12/2014 19:40

Could be watching a home nearby for benefits cheats? I had the same thing with HMRC watching my neighbour who was claiming sickness benefit for bronchitis or something. Or it could be the police gathering intellegence on someone?

Maybe he gets really good internet on his phone there? God knows. Id call 101. I doubt it's a lost job if it's that consistent every day in the same spot, what if he's stalking someone? Shock

monkeytroubles · 31/12/2014 20:04

I was going to say the same Royal, I have a friend who is a benefit fraud investigator and she sometimes has to park up outside someone's home or workplace for days on end keeping a log of their movements etc. Although you'd think they'd be trained to do this without arousing suspicion.

minionmadness · 31/12/2014 20:14

OP has already stated that she lives in a very remote spot with just her house and fields, so no one else in the vicinity for anyone to check up on.

OP, my first though was lost job, but then he wouldn't be there everyday would he. I'd give the local police a call to see what they say.

Original poster
shggg245 · 31/12/2014 20:14

There's no one to spy on - just me and I'm very boring. We're not in receipt of benefits or involved in any criminal activity so I'm sure he's not there in any official capacity.

OP posts:
Original poster
shggg245 · 31/12/2014 20:28

I'll come back and let you know what happens... Poor bugger.

OP posts:
Lucyccfc · 31/12/2014 20:43

My Mum does this most days and sits in my Dads car (parked opposite their house). She has mental health problems, but wouldn't cause anyone any particular harm (unless you made her get out of the car when she didn't want to).

Maybe he is ill and just wants his on space.

Haggisfish · 31/12/2014 20:44

I would def be calling local cops and get them to ask him what he's doing.