just sitting in car

[shggg245]

I live in a very remote spot just my house and fields - there's a small car park adjacent to my back garden. For the past 3 weeks a man has parked up and sat in his car from 10am until 5 ish. Engine not running - no lights when it's dark.

He literally just sits everyday including weekends. Don't think he's doing anything dodgey but just think it's really peculiar.

Aibu to ask if he's ok or should I just mind my own business?

I'm reassured that he appears stable. Feel rotten for him and hope he manages to resolve whatever issues he has. Don't particularly want to befriend him though. It's just sad.

Poor sod. He's not going to be sitting there all day for a good reason. I hope things turn out ok for him.

Poor fellow.

It's so cold today that he must be freezing if he's sitting in a car for hours

I am obvioussly really sorry for that man, but why choose a place with ONE house? And park 10 feet away from your kitchen? Sure enough you don't live in the middle of a busy town if your house is the only house with fields around. He could find a place without any house and park there if he wants to enjoy some peace.

I would be so annoyed by the "be prepared to see a lot of me in the next few weeks" comment, especially if it is a private property he is staying. Yes, I do realise I am a selfish monster.

Yes, of course, you could make his laundry, make him tea and feed him and see him everytime you look at your kitchen window, but I have a feeling you will get yourself into something that might become a problem hard to escape.

Wewish yeah I'm kinda with you - he's not about to end it all so I'm just going to leave well alone. Feel sorry for him but not my business. Thanks everyone.

Maybe he feels a bit safer being close to your home OP, rather than being totally alone iyswim.
Hopefully he will get back on his feet soon, woukd it be worth printing off some housing details etc for him? Not sure if you are in wales but here in rural parts it is fairly easy to find council bedsits etc if you are homeless

I would feel very uncomfortable with someone sat in a car practically on my doorstep for 7 hours a day.

Can you see him from your windows. I'd feel like I was being stalked no matter how friendly he was.

There must be loads of places he could drive to without sitting on someone's doorstep. There's loads by me and I don't live rurally.

I wouldn't be happy OP.

Typical sort of question I would ask, but...er...where is he having a wee?
Hope he isn't doing his tiddles just near your back garden!

That's what I thought too perhaps he's got one of those things that you attach. You wouldn't believe how many people knock on my door wanting to use the loo!!

Speculation on here running wild and then when you find out he isn't up to anything dodgy, thoughts turn to where he is having a wee? Heaven forbid he has had a piss near your back garden... . The poor fucker... If you ever have no choice but to urinate in a car park and stay in your car all day I hope somebody would offer you more help and sympathy than you seem to give this man. Your choice as to if you get involved or not but posting, listening to strange speculation about him while thinking he is mentally ill, and then judging him for being in an awful situation is just fucking cruel.

Ok I'm trying to making light if what is an odd situation - yes I've pondered on how he manages bodily functions when sat outside my kitchen for seven hour stretches.....

He doesn't appear to have any MH issues - my husband who is well qualified to assess and dies this for a living had a long chat with him and is not at all concerned re his mh.

This is clearly a very crap situation for this guy and of course I'm concerned which is why husband checked on his well being.

Yeah if I'm honest I don't particularly want him parked outside my kitchen for the next 3 weeks as it's odd and makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. If that makes me a shit so be it.

It's so sad that he spent xmas sat in a car, in a car park. 'There but for the grace of god', etc.

This is his 4th week sat out there now? I would have to offer him something. Some help. This would disturb me great greatly.

X posted with you OP.

The fact he seemed to have no MH issues makes it worse in a way! Is this really his only option? Jesus.

I don't think the way you feel makes you a shit. We all react differently.

Oh and he's peeing in a bush i expect.

Must reiterate that he said he's coming for peace and quiet and seemed quite jolly. Husband wouldn't have hesitated to offer assistance if he felt it was wanted or needed.

I would be so annoyed by the "be prepared to see a lot of me in the next few weeks" comment, especially if it is a private property he is staying. Yes, I do realise I am a selfish monster.

Yes, you are. How dare he have nowhere else to go. Jesus.

Anyway I'll sign off on this - believe me I am sympathetic but he says he's fine... As I've said dh works in MH and is one of the most caring people I've ever met but even he thinks it's unusual behaviour - however I'm glad we asked and feel reassured that he's not a threat to us or himself. We'll keep an eye on him.

Thanks for replies.

overslept You should give OP your address, for her to pass it the guy, you seem in a mood to help him and be the wonderful human being OP isn't

NobodyLivesHere It is surrounded by fields, so it's countryside I guess. But he doesn't have ANY other place to go but 10 feet from OP kitchen's window for a month? Yeah, right..

As I said, I feel really sorry for him. But it is unfair to expect OP to become responsible of him... You don't try to help every homeless person you see in the street do you? So why should OP feel like sh=t?

Right, I'm in Wales, anywhere near me and I'll happily help wewishyou. I'm not expecting OP to take him in, I do live in the real world. But more compassion than sat on an online forum wondering if he is pissing on your fence is just being a decent person. If you had literally NO CHOICE but to piss in view of somebodies house, nowhere to wash your clothes etc, would you want people talking about you like this? He is a human fucking being and I doubt he is sat there or peeing in a carpark for his own pleasure or because he gets a kick from it. He is probably already cripplingly ashamed and embarrassed.
Just remember this man probably has no family to turn to, then imagine if it was your adult son or daughter sleeping in a car if something happened to you. Then being subject to have random people speculate about where they go to the toilet and a "eewww I hope it isn't near my house" attitude. Jesus fucking wept.

Cool your jets overslept - I've not said anything about him pissing on my fence! I don't care if he does - I'm speculating how he can sit in a car for so long that's all - and for the record I'm nice and have let several walkers use my loo when they've been caught short.

I asked advice on here and am glad I did, took said advice and acted on it. He's fine, didn't want help of any sort.

And I live in the middle of fucking nowhere without any neighbours at all nearest people half a mile away so feel totally justified in my concern for my own security and questioning this man's motivation which incidentally I still think is odd.

I've lived rural as well, in fact i still do. My old house, same area was as your say, miles from anybody. Not even a road, all tracks up to farm so really out the way. Somebody in the village would/should know him, if its as rural as you say?

Don't think he's local as he asked husband a few questions about nearby village.

I can get a bit spooked especially when home alone at night but got a big noisey dog. I love the country and find people are usually really friendly once they get to know you -10 years minimum mind!

I'll get the vicar to have a word as he comes to walk dogs. Thing is not everyone wants help and I don't want to intrude -which is somewhat ironic as he's chosen to come and park outside my window! I used to live in rural north Wales - very pretty - now in Yorkshire.

I assume that those of you criticising the OP would be happy to have this man parked outside their houses for weeks on end? Even if you are somewhere like the OP where, if something bad was to happen, There will be no witnesses and help will be a long way away?

I also live in Yorkshire and go walking in the hills a lot. I may even have used the parking area next to the OPs house, and one thing I do know is that the county is vast with a lot of remote upland area in addition to all the big cities etc. there are plenty of little parking areas miles from any where, so one thing will be true. That spot next to the OPs house will not be the only place to park, for free, for hours at a time, in the middle of nowhere. There will be dozens of similar spots in the area. . So even if he 'doesn't have anywhere else to go, HIBU to be there every day.

I am aware that it is almost certainly the case that he will do no harm to the OP, but it is a bit of an imposition to park 'there' all day every day. I'm sure that this behaviour would meet the definition of stalking or harassment, if the OP feels intimidated by it, which she does.

And where does he go at night? Does he have money for petrol for all this driving backwards and forwards that he is doing? Does he look like he is washing himself and his clothes? What is he doing for food? And yes, where is he having a piss when he is parked outside your house OP?