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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

just sitting in car

255 replies

shggg245 · 31/12/2014 17:35

I live in a very remote spot just my house and fields - there's a small car park adjacent to my back garden. For the past 3 weeks a man has parked up and sat in his car from 10am until 5 ish. Engine not running - no lights when it's dark.

He literally just sits everyday including weekends. Don't think he's doing anything dodgey but just think it's really peculiar.

Aibu to ask if he's ok or should I just mind my own business?

OP posts:
vienna1981 · 01/01/2015 12:08

Definitely a job for the police. He may be apparently acting harmlessly but it sounds far from normal. The sooner you call them the better, given your isolated location.

Good luck and keep us informed.

DeeCayed · 01/01/2015 12:08

Why would anyone park so close to a house in a remote place? Confused

He sounds harmless enough if he's been there for 3 weeks not sure of the job loss theory if he's there every day including today.

Is he doing anything like playing on his phone or laptop, reading, getting out to streched his legs, sleeping, taking photos?

Vivacia · 01/01/2015 12:15

I'd be more worried for him than because of him, if you see what I mean.

(Do you mind me asking why your husband can't just go and ask now, before I have to do the pots?).

JennyBlueWren · 01/01/2015 12:18

Vivacia Her husband can't go now as he's gone to the shops (and if you're rural that can take a while).

flanjabelle · 01/01/2015 12:19

This would bother me too, mainly due to uncontrollable nosiness.

Original poster
shggg245 · 01/01/2015 12:21

Vivacia lol - he's gone food shopping. I'm mixed between concern for his welfare and nosily thinking just wtf is he doing - why?!

I've seen him out of car walked a short distance and then returned. Doesn't appear to be doing anything just sitting at first I thought he wad dead as he doesn't move.

It's a nice view but why stay after dark and why so long?

OP posts:
Vivacia · 01/01/2015 12:23

I live rural too, just three houses together in the middle of nowhere. We're straight out there if someone stops for more than 10 seconds (usually lost, but you sometimes get something exciting).

Original poster
shggg245 · 01/01/2015 12:24

I'm like the man from rear window who becomes obsessed with neighbours movements.

OP posts:
AlpacaYourThings · 01/01/2015 12:24

I immediately thought job loss, too. But based on your updates I'm not sure. He could be homeless and is couch surfing with friends but is trying to get out of their way for a few hours each day...

Vivacia · 01/01/2015 12:32

A photo would be helpful. Or a hand-drawn map, if you have time.

I could start a website for you, and you could release podcasts about the mystery.

Vivacia · 01/01/2015 12:32

(I hope it's nothing serious, I'm going to feel awful).

Staywithme · 01/01/2015 12:40

He could be homeless and is couch surfing with friends but is trying to get out of their way for a few hours each day...

That was my thought AlpcaYourThings. I had a young friend of my nephew do similar before he moved in with us.

AlpacaYourThings · 01/01/2015 12:43

Yes, I've worked with people who are homeless and this is quite a common way to deal with the daytime hours. Staywithme!

magimedi · 01/01/2015 12:51

I think I would ring 101 & ask the police to have a word. Whilst homelessness, lost job etc all sound very plausible, it seems odd that he choses the same place every day for 3 weeks.

Stillyummy · 01/01/2015 12:56

Poor man, must get cold :(

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/01/2015 13:02

I'm intrigued. Maybe he's a long lost relative?

TheMaddHugger · 01/01/2015 13:03

how secure is your internet, a simple answer is he might be logged into your network and using his Ipad

Aka 'free internet for him'

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 01/01/2015 13:11

Is this going to end up like the woman who had a young couple living in a car outside her house?

We have a man living in a caravan living on the parking area outside our garden but he's the son/nephew/similar of the couple over the road so it's no bother really.

I would definitely get the DH to have a friendly word 'we've noticed you here a bit and wondered if you were OK' sort of thing. And then depending on the outcome, call the police or social services?

fluffyraggies · 01/01/2015 13:46

Poor man. It's not normal and he cant be happy. It's freezing at the mo.

I'm surprised he has chosen to sit within easy sight of a house though. 10 feet from your kitchen window. Perhaps he is hoping, subconsciously, to be seen and be approached.

How old is he OP?

Original poster
shggg245 · 01/01/2015 14:17

Dh went to speak to him asked if he was ok. Belongings in car and smelt a bit fusty. He was articulate and friendly. Says he comes up here for peace and quiet and we'll see him alot over the next few weeks!

So yes I think he's probably homeless and maybe sleeping in hostel overnight. Sad.

OP posts:
Vivacia · 01/01/2015 14:20

Oh dear, poor thing. Sounds as though your husband didn't find him a worry though.

How do you feel now?

hiddenhome · 01/01/2015 14:23

He must be so cold in this weather Sad

LightastheBreeze · 01/01/2015 14:27

Probably his has kicked him out or he has left his wife and can't afford a rental, that would be why he has a car when a lot of homeless don't.

LightastheBreeze · 01/01/2015 14:28

Probably his wife*

AlpacaYourThings · 01/01/2015 14:34

Would you consider offering to wash his clothes?