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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my niece and her partner are too immature?

144 replies

Kathryn114 · 29/12/2014 20:34

My neice and her boyfriend are 24, and they have a 3 year old daughter (my great niece). They are lovely people, my niece is a care assistant in a residential care home for the elderly, voted "favourite carer" by the residents and staff, and her boyfriend is a gardner.

But they are so, so childish. They both sound like children talking iyswim. My niece always has been childish, but she still dresses very bizarrely (loads of bright colours that clash, plastic jewellery, hair dyed lilac in bunches), she gets excited about everything and is always clapping her hands, dancing, I just feel uncomfortable watching! And her boyfriend only talks to her and his daughter, he has barely uttered a word to me! He also acts immaturely and gets excited about everything, and has tattoos of cartoon mermaids and kings and queens all up his arms Hmm

The other day we visited them (we live 3 hours away) and when we arrived all 3 of them were sat around a plastic table in the lounge colouring. No adult conversation going on, whenever we asked them anything it was always a quick answer. My niece kept coming up with strange conversations too, such as "Maybe the earth is flat and astronauts are lying to us!" Their lounge decor was very strange as well, they both seem to have this obsession with the ocean and so the walls were full of pictures of sharks, dolphins and jellyfish, as well the many tanks of fish they have. When we went out for a walk, all 3 of them were running riot and barging into people and we had to keep apologising to people for them. Confused

AIBU to be annoyed with their parenting? It is more like three 3 year olds are living together! I am worried about my great niece's development because her parents seem to be stuck in childhood mode. My husband tells me to just leave them be, but it all just seems rather strange to me. They are lovely in their own ways, but I can't help being annoyed with them at the same time!

OP posts:
Teladi · 29/12/2014 20:35

YABU. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.

KERALA1 · 29/12/2014 20:37

I would think the same op. Not sure much you can do though.

usualsuspect333 · 29/12/2014 20:38

Is this real?

I can't tell anymore.

debbriana · 29/12/2014 20:38

They may actually be the best parents. Time will tell .

TheNewSchmoo · 29/12/2014 20:38

Well you sound horribly judgemental. They're happy. Who are you to dictate what they wear and how they decorate their home?

Bulbasaur · 29/12/2014 20:39

Just because they personally annoy you doesn't mean they should change to suit you. They don't sound like my cup of tea, but I'm sure they have friends that are.

Really, it just sounds like they have different tastes in decorations than you and are a little more rambunctious than you would like.

For what it's worth, I like playing with my daughter too. I'll probably get more enjoyment from the coloring books than she will. Wink

MrsMoppandBucket · 29/12/2014 20:40

Maybe they are Manic-Pixie-Dream-Hipsters?

Each to their own, I don't see what harm they are doing.

Hatespiders · 29/12/2014 20:41

One of my nieces (22) lives with her boyfriend and although they have no dc they're a bit like this. They jabber on and on about daft stuff at the tops of their voices like a pair of 10 yr olds, and jump around and do acrobatics in their sitting room. They have a selection of stuffed toys each with its own name and voice/accent and expect me to reply to the bloody things. But you just have to remind yourself that they're young and carefree, and have lots of fun.
Yours sound full of fun and very nice, and I bet their dd is happy, which is the main thing. They'll change over the years. It's good they both work and are not drunken, druggy or violent etc. Try not to say anything and keep smiling!

lemisscared · 29/12/2014 20:42

wow -you're a delight aren't you. stop being such a fuddy duddy they sound really happy. what exactly was wrong with them sitting colouring? would you rather they ignore their dd and have a "grown up" conversation with you?

notonyourninny · 29/12/2014 20:43

I bet its a thing like hipsters, goths etc knows nothing

SaucyJack · 29/12/2014 20:43

Why don't you buy her a Bon Marche voucher for Xmas so she can buy herself a nice mumsy cardi?

WD41 · 29/12/2014 20:43

Is the child fed and clothed? Washed? If so, yabu.

They sound like lovely parents. Colouring with their child and introducing fun into her life. I'm sure she won't suffer because her mum has lilac hair.

bamboostalks · 29/12/2014 20:43

Well it might annoy you but there's nothing you can do is there? Just roll with it as they say.

wonderingsoul · 29/12/2014 20:44

Other then the running into people.. They sound great.

I'd rather hang out with them then be around some one who's so stuck out up their own arsed they think colouring with their kids is weird.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 29/12/2014 20:44

A 3 year old constructing good complicated sentences with real thought behind them shows they're certainly not stifling her development so far, just because they happened to be colouring at the moment you arrived.

They sound great. You sound a bit of a loon.

Sn00p4d · 29/12/2014 20:45

YABU.
They sound lovely, as for spending time together with their daughter colouring in, would it be better if they sat reading the daily mail and only allow her to speak when she is spoken to?
Jeezo. They're happy, the child is happy, if you frown upon their lifestyle leave them to it

joanne1947 · 29/12/2014 20:45

YABU. They sound great, when we arrived all 3 of them were sat around a plastic table in the lounge colouring. No adult conversation going on seems as if their child is important to them and she matters more than an elderly relative.

MarjorieMelon · 29/12/2014 20:46

They are immature but not in a bad way. So what if their decor is not to your taste. Your niece does a very important job and is bloody good at it. Your great-niece is probably having a fun childhood.

If this is real and I'm not sure it is, I think you should be ashamed of yourself.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2014 20:46

AIBU to be annoyed with their parenting?

Yes

iklboo · 29/12/2014 20:47

I love colouring. They even sell adult colouring books. Very good after an almightily crap day & it's a good family activity.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 29/12/2014 20:47

Having people to visit who have travelled for 3hours to see you, then ignoring them while you continue your family colouring activity in silence, that is peculiar and a little rude. Barging into strangers is also odd and rude.
The rest of it sounds fine to me.

ilovesooty · 29/12/2014 20:47

I'm with your husband. Leave them alone and butt out if you can't stop judging them.

editthis · 29/12/2014 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 29/12/2014 20:49

joanne1947 who mentioned anyone elderly?

cardibach · 29/12/2014 20:50

I agree with everyone that there is nothing wrong with a bit if enthusiasm and excitement. However, fred there is no evidence of the 3 year old constructing complicated sentences. The OP mentions the mother talking, not the child.
YAprobablyBU OP - without more information we can't tell.