To think my niece and her partner are too immature?

[Kathryn114]

My neice and her boyfriend are 24, and they have a 3 year old daughter (my great niece). They are lovely people, my niece is a care assistant in a residential care home for the elderly, voted "favourite carer" by the residents and staff, and her boyfriend is a gardner.

But they are so, so childish. They both sound like children talking iyswim. My niece always has been childish, but she still dresses very bizarrely (loads of bright colours that clash, plastic jewellery, hair dyed lilac in bunches), she gets excited about everything and is always clapping her hands, dancing, I just feel uncomfortable watching! And her boyfriend only talks to her and his daughter, he has barely uttered a word to me! He also acts immaturely and gets excited about everything, and has tattoos of cartoon mermaids and kings and queens all up his arms

The other day we visited them (we live 3 hours away) and when we arrived all 3 of them were sat around a plastic table in the lounge colouring. No adult conversation going on, whenever we asked them anything it was always a quick answer. My niece kept coming up with strange conversations too, such as "Maybe the earth is flat and astronauts are lying to us!" Their lounge decor was very strange as well, they both seem to have this obsession with the ocean and so the walls were full of pictures of sharks, dolphins and jellyfish, as well the many tanks of fish they have. When we went out for a walk, all 3 of them were running riot and barging into people and we had to keep apologising to people for them.

AIBU to be annoyed with their parenting? It is more like three 3 year olds are living together! I am worried about my great niece's development because her parents seem to be stuck in childhood mode. My husband tells me to just leave them be, but it all just seems rather strange to me. They are lovely in their own ways, but I can't help being annoyed with them at the same time!

I'd love to be excited about everything.

I think being childlike is a 'thing' at the moment and is nothing to worry about. Unless of course it's complete with the no safety or ability to keep a home and hearing, meals etc...

That's the word, Goths! That's what my niece and her boyfriend are. She dyed her hair jet black and has black nail varnish. It's all just part of being young.

I was a hippy myself in the early seventies. Long maxi dress, hair plaited with rags and a headband thing with a flower stuck in. I must have looked a right dolly. I'm almost normal now though...

Seriously though, your little great niece is having a happy childhood. Mine was terrible with strict and repressive parents. Be glad they're so interested in her and all three are having lots of fun together.

I not sure usual I really can't tell either!

I think they sound fun

Of course you're BU. Can you tell us what your hair is like, what clothes you wear and what activities you would deem acceptable? Then we can judge you too

And I have lilac hair. And I'm 45. So ner ner na ner ner

Yes, I am also thinking reverse thread. They sound lovely and great fun - if their child is happy, healthy and properly looked after, good for them.

I'm not quite sure OP is an adult herself. It doesnt read like an adult posting.

If it is a reverse and perchance deleted then that will be the 4TH bloody thread on my watch list today alone!

Your GN has two employed parents who engage well with her. How awful.

Perhaps it's not a reverse exactly. Perhaps it's the 3 year old posting. She might be very advanced

Shaky, was the 'selling grandad's medal' thread deleted? I can't see it anywhere?
(Sorry op, for butting in with this question.)

YANBU

They are far too immature. Can you imagine what will happen when they have full time jobs? I bet they won't be any good at them. What will happen when they move into their own place? And what if they have children?

YABU. Your niece is voted 'favourite carer'? - that means she's a good person on the earth. They were colouring with their daughter? That's excellent. Ask yourself this: would you be more comfortable if they both had more 'professional' jobs, worked 8-6, commuted however long, and spent a fortune on childcare? Would you worry as much? Or do they just send you a little bit out of your comfort zone?

Hatespiders apparently MNHQ were removing that thread and getting in touch with the OP off the boards.

Bollocks.

Kathryn114 since you have a 24 year old niece I will presume that you are around my age, in your 50s. So you should have lived through soul, punk, disco, new romantic, electropop, britpop, grunge, goth, garage, house, and a few more . And that is why I am quite aghast at how frankly Victorian you sound.

So she has lilac hair and wears plastic jewellery? Would you rather she was tanned orange, botoxed and with hair extensions? I celebrate when I see someone who has the individuality and originality to not follow the crowd.

And as for "Maybe the earth is flat and astronauts are lying to us!" - maybe she is encouraging her child's imagination. I'm pretty sure I had similar conversations with my son when he was little.

SO yes, YABU to be annoyed with their parenting. They sound lovely to me.

Thanks Sooty.
at 3yr old posting!

YABU to judge their parenting seeing as you haven't actually mentioned much, if anything, about it in your op, other than you find them "childish". You've only mentioned that you don't like the decor and the fact that they like marine animals. Oh and their appearance.

Do you always judge people who don't do as you do?

They sound great. YABU.

YANBU they sound fucking annoying

As long as your nieces other needs are being met, I think they sound brilliant and are really encouraging her creative development and imagination. Maybe you should stop being so judgmental!

Well they both hold down jobs and seem liked and respected professionally.

Their daughter is presumably well cared for?

But you don't like they way they dress or converse or decorate their living room? Right. In the nicest possible way OP you need to stop being so judgemental. These people may not be your cup of tea but you have no right to be so snippy about them or the way they live their lives.

Would you respect her more if she had a sensible haircut and a magnolia lounge? FFS.

YABU. I wish more people were like this. I know far more serious conventional people than those who are happy and do things they genuinely enjoy rather than trying to be like everybody else. And I agree their daughter sounds happy and fulfilled. Leave them alone :)

They sound fun, albeit with unusual taste in decor etc. That's up to them. The earth being flat thing you have given no context for. If it was the conversation starter yes, it's odd but who cares,it is creative for their child, if it was in response to something it isn't necessarily childish conversation but a creative way of making a point.

You sound very judgemental and boring. What is wrong with colouring with children? Decent parents play with their kids...

Ps I am a 32 year old woman with a 15 year old son who wears Bambi and Rudolph pyjamas (have Care Bears and Dangermouse too), minion and danger mouse socks, I love Disney and will happily watch it on my own AND, dare I tell you, bought myself an adults colouring book for Christmas and love it. I also studied law, later criminology, and have interests in philosophy and the criminal 'mind' and various other things. I spend most of my times making up silly songs and acting like a total muppet child with my autistic son though. Sorry to disgust you...