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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I really being unreasonable? I mean, really?

182 replies

FruitCakey · 28/12/2014 14:22

DS (he is 7) has just had an iPad mini for Christmas. SIL and MIL feel I am being a total bitch not allowing my 2 year old nephew to "take turns" in playing with my DS brand new tablet. I am actually really cross! They keep making comments about how sad it is for poor nephew, that he should be fine.

I have told them that there is no chance. I wouldn't have bought a tablet for my son at 2, therefore DN won't be using DS tablet at only 2 either. For no other reason than I don't trust that he can look after it.

I have explained this in the nicest possible way. They still keep making remarks regarding DN having a go when he screams and tantrums to get to it.

I have now just overheard MIL telling SIL that it isn't my place to tell them that DN isn't allowed a go. Excuse me!? When I have paid a lot of money for a tablet for my DS, do I really not have the right to decide who the hell can use it?

Am I really being unreasonable? I just can't imagine how I am?

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/12/2014 15:54

Why isn't dn on MiL's iPad then, why are the Inlaws being arsey if there's another gadget there for him to play on?

MsHighwater · 28/12/2014 15:58

YANBU and I'm astonished anyone thinks otherwise, tbh. I might have let my 2yo play with my own tablet, under supervision, but no way would I expect my dc to allow a toddler to play with their brand new, special, expensive gift.

Would they give you the money to replace the iPad immediately if your DN damaged it?

Feellikescrooge · 28/12/2014 16:00

Well in that case I would suggest to MIL to give him her ipad and they can play alongside each other. If he won't do that it is then clearly a control issue which should not be given into.

calzone · 28/12/2014 16:01

Put the iPad away and interact with the people in your house is my very humble opinion......

.....but then I also think phones should be put away and switched off in the company of real humans......

Original poster

FruitCakey · 28/12/2014 16:02

Wind up thread? I have barely had time to check the replies on this thread since starting it, never mind pulling up a plan solely based on winding people up.

OP posts:

WhyTheFace · 28/12/2014 16:05

What was the point of this thread then?

happystory · 28/12/2014 16:05

Also, (sorry if it's been said) a 2 year old would not be happy with one go, in fact one go would make him to want to do it more... He must have lots of toys he can play with. It's not about the sharing, it's about it being damaged.

Inertia · 28/12/2014 16:07

If nephew has learned that throwing iPads to the ground and standing on them is acceptable then it's certainly not a good idea to force your son to share.

Why can't mil give her iPad to dn to play with ?

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 28/12/2014 16:10

If you're at your MIL's house, and she has a tablet that she lets your DN play on, then why in fuck doesn't she just give him that one to play with?!

There's no need for him to have access to your DS's tablet if there's another one available that he is allowed to use (I mean, there's no need AT ALL for him to have access to any tablet, but since he's been allowed before, then it seems daft to stop him now) - your MIL is being unreasonable.

Original poster

FruitCakey · 28/12/2014 16:13

I believe it's a control issue. He refuses to play on MIL tablet because he wants to play on DS's. We do all interact, but when they're here from morning until night, every day, is it right that DS should suffer? I won't buy DS an iPad for Xmas and then say, "Sorry you're not playing it because DN is here" because that would mean that DS would never have the chance to play it.

OP posts:

Original poster

FruitCakey · 28/12/2014 16:17

playing with it* (auto correct missed my 'with' out )

What is the point in a lot of threads, whytheface? I simply wanted to see what others felt was right if they were in my position.

OP posts:

TheFairyCaravan · 28/12/2014 16:17

This reminds me of when DS2 got the K'Nex ferris wheel for Christmas. He spent hours building it on Christmas Day and it was in the corner of the living room. My sister came on Boxing Day and DN, who was 2 at the time, couldn't be told "no" when he went near it. He wouldn't watch it spin with the battery pack, my sister and BIL let him do what the fuck he liked until he broke it!

YANBU fruity, your DS should be allowed to play with his gift. Get MIL to give DN her iPad!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/12/2014 16:17

When are you leaving.

Is the atmosphere frosty?

Viviennemary · 28/12/2014 16:20

YANBU to say toddler can't play on the ipad. But common sense would say don't use it in front of him. He doesn't understand it's not a toy.

TheyThinkImCool · 28/12/2014 16:23

If I were in the same position as you I would have told my son to go and put the iPad away/or to go and get a few toys for the 2 year old to play with. So in a way I think you were being a bit unreasonable.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 28/12/2014 16:24

Well in that case they need to teach the toddler that he can't have everything he wants; he just wants it because your DS has it, and so I agree, don't let him have it. He has another option - if he won't take it, then tough nuts.

calzone · 28/12/2014 16:24

Ds....put the iPad away and get the lego/building bricks/playmobil out.....

Then whisper in his ear that he can play when his cousin has gone to bed.

Cauliflowersneeze1 · 28/12/2014 16:27

Agree with thumbnuts

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 28/12/2014 16:38

It belongs to DS - you gave it to him as a present - how does he feel?

WaywardGirl · 28/12/2014 16:46

In the situation you describe, YANBU at all. If you were at their house for a couple of hours and it was the only time you were seeing them, I'd say that perhaps DS should just not play on it around him, but as it is he wouldn't get to go on it.

And no matter what the situation, of course it's your place to decide!

Boomtownsurprise · 28/12/2014 16:51

Sil is being lazy. It's easier to get your son to stop than be a parent and amuse her son.

Fuck her sideways with a cattle prod imho. She's jealous as you can let ds play where you have to amuse/distract toddlers!

RinseyMinceySpider · 28/12/2014 16:56

What do they do when the 2 year old wants to drive their car?

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 28/12/2014 17:01

YANBU, not at all

Your ds is only 7 why should he have to be without his christmas present all day every day because sil is incapable of saying no?

We have older children as well as younger ones, if we made them put away everything the little ones couldn't play with they'd never get the chance to use them. I don't agree with forced sharing of special items anyway and especially not if there is a chance they may get broken

beadybaby · 28/12/2014 17:12

Yabvvvu to allow your child play on his IPad (a solitary activity) while visiting someone else's home or indeed while you yourself have visitors. Instead of teaching your DN the word no how about teaching your son some manners.

Original poster

FruitCakey · 28/12/2014 17:17

Thumbnuts I totally agree!

What do they do when their 2 year old wants to drive their car?

Exactly!

OP posts:

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